Guard Your Mind, Transform Your Heart - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - April 15
Guard Your Mind, Transform Your Heart
By Michelle Lazurek
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
It had been a rough patch in our marriage. After years in the ministry, we were going through one of our worst periods of spiritual warfare. It seemed the enemy was attacking every area of our lives, including our marriage. As the enemy often does, he whispered lies that went unchecked to my heart. Because they went unchecked, they quickly became thoughts I dwelled upon day and night.
I began to think about a different life without my husband in it. At first, I couldn't bear the thought. But soon, it became a thought I meditated on in the early morning and the wee hours of the night. It quickly became a thought that soon seemed plausible (and even necessary). I justified all the hurt, the betrayal, and the harsh words exchanged in heated discussions.
It's easy to justify infidelity. Infidelity doesn't just happen overnight; it begins in the mind. It starts with a thought or two. These thoughts then lead to an active fantasy life. These fantasies quickly travel to the heart and begin to invade it, allowing it to grow calloused and hardened toward our spouses. Whether you've allowed your fantasy life to get out of control or have been the victim of infidelity, it eats at the root of a marriage. An already shaky marriage foundation can crumble with an active fantasy life.
The world tells us that love is love. Attraction and desire may happen, but they can be controlled and even stopped. It begins by taking control of the mind. We need to take every thought we have captive, not allowing it travel to our hearts.
I equate taking every thought captive to those scenes in the movies where the police place their subject in a room with one light. They shine the light brightly in the person's eyes and scream at them, “Where did you come from? Who sent you?” They use this as a tactic to control and break down the assailant’s psyche.
It's the same with our thought life. We must break down and analyze where our thoughts originate. In marriages, one fight can lead to two fights, leading to an out-of-control fantasy that we find difficult to resist. Thoughts may be challenging to control initially, but we can overcome any sin with the spirit's help.
Scripture is clear that if we resist the devil, he will flee from us. This is because of our authority in Christ. But often, we don't step into that authority and control our mind and capture our thoughts. We allow our untamed hearts to run wild, leading to desires and attraction that shouldn't be there.
To take our thoughts captive, we must first check them against Scripture. If we find ourselves fantasizing about a life different from our current reality, we might have thoughts that are getting out of control. Repeating memorized Scripture to combat these lies is our first defense against taking our thoughts captive.
It is also essential to seek the help of accountability partners. Find someone more mature in the faith than you and let them know what's going on. Ask them to hold you accountable for your thoughts. Having someone who knows you want help in this area may be the key to keeping your thoughts pure.
Finally, Scripture tells us to meditate on the law day and night. If you find that you're listening to music or watching television programs that are promoting infidelity, lust, or highly sexual content outside the confines of marriage, turn it off. What you consume is often what you become. The more you expose yourself to sinful behavior, the more it will become routine in your mind. Resist the temptation to let your mind go on autopilot and watch whatever's on your screen.
Take a stand and stand for purity. Some software programs allow you to put filters on your computer screens. Allow parental control over what television ratings you can watch, and choose music stations that promote only pure music. Try this for a month and see if your thought life changes. If you find your heart is less angry, less exposed to lust, you may find your fantasy life quickly follows. Be a person who stands for a morally pure thought life, and your marriage may be impacted for the better.
Prayer:
Lord, let us be people who stand up for our thought lives. Let us take every thought captive, and let us take control of our thoughts once again. Help us resist the enemy and not let him control the thoughts that travel to our hearts. Amen.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/primipil
Related Resource: The Five Languages of Apology, with Dr. Gary Chapman
In this insightful episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with Dr. Gary Chapman, renowned author of The Five Love Languages and The Five Languages of Apology. Together, they explore how understanding both love and apology languages can radically improve relationships. Dr. Chapman unpacks the five core ways people express and receive love—and explains how offering sincere, well-matched apologies can be just as vital to healing and connection. The conversation highlights the power of empathy, emotional communication, and forgiveness in maintaining strong, healthy relationships. Whether you're married, dating, or simply want to love others well, this episode offers powerful tools to deepen your relational bonds. Like what you hear? Be sure to follow I Wish You Could Hear This on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
