How Can I Discuss Financial Matters with My Spouse in a Healthy Way? - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - May 27
How Can I Discuss Financial Matters with My Spouse in a Healthy Way?
By: Vivian Bricker
“Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel” (Philippians 1:27).
Discussing financial matters is a difficult topic to talk about with our spouse. Due to financial matters being a sensitive subject, it can cause many spouses to feel as though they are being attacked when their spouse starts talking about these concerns. This is why it is essential for married couples to be able to discuss financial matters in a healthy way. If these conversations are not conducted in a healthy way, they have the capacity to cause you and your spouse to have a fight or an argument.
Fights and arguments are not enjoyable. They are very painful and many hurt words can be exchanged. Instead of discussing financial matters and concerns in an unhealthy way, we need to discuss them in a healthy way. This will ensure proper communication and proper respect is being conveyed by both the husband and the wife. As a husband and a wife, you need to be able to talk about finances without having it destroy your relationship.
This can be accomplished by talking about finances in a healthy way. If you are unsure of how to do this, know it is common. Many married couples do not discuss how to deal with financial concerns prior to getting married and this leaves them in a state of uncertainty once these issues arise. The good news is that you and your spouse can learn how to develop healthier ways to communicate about financial matters by a little bit of research, time, and effort.
When you are about to bring financial concerns to your spouse, you need to choose kindness over anger. You might be feeling angry today due to financial stressors, but don’t take your frustration out on your spouse. You and your spouse are a team and you need to work as a team in all things, including financial matters.
Prepare your heart in advance by going to God in prayer. Ask Him to help you be kind and to release all anger, hate, and bitterness from your heart. Anger and frustration has a way of turning us into people we are not. We need God’s help to release these negative feelings from our heart in order to truly come into the situation with our spouse in a healthy way.
Instead of being hot-headed, we need to be level-headed. Spend some time with God in prayer prior to discussing financial matters with your spouse. Ask Him to equip you with the words you need, to handle the situation in a healthy way, and to be kind over hateful. God will help you. Choose to rest in the peace that He will be present with you as you are bringing these concerns to your spouse.
The Bible tells us, “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel” (Philippians 1:27). As Paul tells us in this passage, we need to always conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of Jesus in all circumstances.
This includes bringing glory to Jesus through our discussions on financial matters. When you enter the discussion with a heart focused on serving Jesus, it will help the conversation go in a positive way. If we enter the discussion with a heart of defensiveness or anger, it will only result in disorder and hurt feelings. By choosing to conduct yourself in a godly and holy way, it will help the issue be solved in a healthy way.
God wants all of our discussions and conversations with our spouse to be healthy. By using Philippians 1:27 as a blueprint, we will be able to handle any difficult discussion by the power of God. The more we follow God and obey His teachings in the Bible, the better equipped we will be at handling conflicts in a healthy way. As we are following Jesus, it will show in our actions and in our discussions.
Financial matters do not have to be a difficult topic unless we allow them to be. Start from the beginning with your spouse and ensure you both become comfortable talking about finances. If you are going to have a united marriage under the covenant of the Lord, it is important to be in agreement over every matter. Financial matters are no exception as they are a huge part of your marriage.
Handle these conflicts quickly in an honorable and godly way. Once you are able to do this, you and your spouse will be able to work toward a healthy solution for any financial concerns. No longer is there space for yelling and arguments over financial concerns. Together in one body you have been called to peace (Colossians 3:15). Draw from this peace and allow it to positively impact your marriage.
“Dear Jesus, please help me to discuss financial matters with my spouse in a healthy way. Financial matters tend to cause my spouse and I to have many fights. Please help us to resolve these fights and bring love back into the marriage. Thank You, Lord. Amen.”
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