Praying for Your Spouse When Your Heart's Not in It - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - August 13
Praying for Your Spouse When Your Heart's Not in It
By: Vivian Bricker
"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
During times of intense disconnect with our spouse, it can cause us to develop bitter feelings toward them. God doesn't want us to hold hate, anger, bitterness, or resentment against our spouse. When He brought us to our spouse, He didn't do so in a haphazard way. He divinely chose to bring you and your spouse together. We need to remember that God brought us together for His glory whenever complications arise in our marriage.
However, this does not mean we won't keep falling on hard times. Our feelings and emotions matter to God, who understands when we have tough times in our marriage. Many people might think that God doesn't understand marriage, but this is not true. God created marriage, and He created it perfect (Genesis 2:24). It was due to the fall of mankind that marriage now has issues.
Sin causes a limitless number of problems for us, and our marriages are no exception. Try to remember this when you and your spouse are struggling in your marriage. It's not your or your spouse's fault. It is the result of sin being in the world. We are all fallen sinners; we will fall on hard times. When we marry our spouse, we don't marry a perfect person.
We marry a fallen, sinful human being just like ourselves. This means that there will be times of arguments, sadness, and disconnect. Working together through issues can alleviate these problems, but there is no escaping the fact that all married couples will have much difficulty in their marriage. Marriage is not easy, as it requires both the husband and the wife to put in the effort, time, and energy into the relationship.
This might mean taking a day off from work to talk with your spouse about their feelings or turning down a friend's night out in order to spend time with your spouse. Even though there are many people in our lives, our spouse is our top priority, right after God. When a man and a woman get married, their priorities change. Their priorities are no longer centered around their parents, friends, or themselves.
Their priorities are now centered around their spouse. This does not mean that we don't care about our parents, families, or friends, but it does mean our lives are different now, and we must take time for our spouse. When you marry your spouse, you enter into a holy covenant with them. The vows you made, you made before God.
It is now your responsibility and privilege to take care of your spouse, to be there for them, and to love them. This is your top priority and what you must set your mind on each day. You will bring glory to God by loving your spouse as you should. It is not right to treat ourselves or our friends as more important than our spouse because we are only tied to our spouse with a lasting covenant.
Whenever we are struggling to pray for our spouse and our heart is not in it, we need to reflect on the Apostle Paul's words. He tells us, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). While Paul is referring to everyone rejoicing always, praying continually, and giving thanks in all circumstances, it also applies to our marriages. By doing these things, it will bring glory to God.
Even if our spouse might feel far from us or we feel disconnected from them due to a hurtful statement, we still need to apply 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 in our marriages. We can apply 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 into our marriages by rejoicing, praying for our spouse, and praising God for our spouse. Many people lose the joy they had at the beginning of their marriage when they start facing hard times.
Maybe a hurtful word was said or a hurtful action was displayed. By working things out with your spouse, you will be able to reconcile. Marriage counseling is also a great idea as it can help you and your spouse's relationship. Involving God in the sessions can be especially helpful as it will bring you and your spouse back to the foot of the cross.
Even if you don't feel like it, make it a priority to pray for your spouse each day. Your heart might not be in it, but it will come naturally with more time. Try to remember that your spouse is the person you fell in love with, and you are the person they chose. This can help you be encouraged even on the darkest of days. Turn to God, continue to pray, and lean on the help of the Spirit.
Prayer:
"Dear God, my spouse and I have recently gone through hard times. We are disconnected from each other. I try to pray for my spouse, but my heart is not in it. Please encourage my heart to pray for my spouse each day. In Your Son's name, I pray, Amen."
Related Resource: 3 Simple Ways to Feed Your Spouse More Praise
How often do you intentionally stop to praise your spouse? To recognize and affirm their character or actions? Many of us probably cringe at answering these questions because we know we could do better! If you struggle to feed your spouse praise regularly, this episode is for you. Listen in as we share some practical steps we all can take to criticize less and affirm and build up our spouse more. If this episode helps your marriage, be sure to subscribe to Team Us on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode.
