Speak Life - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - May 21
Speak Life
By: Michelle Lazurek
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day. Genesis 1:2
“Your words have great power in my life,” my husband said one day. He often took my advice and sought it regarding issues within the church or personal decisions for our family or home. But that statement shocked me. That my words would carry that much weight in his life was a bit daunting. While I never intended to hurt my husband with my word, The Lord reminded me of times when I wielded my words like a sword, cutting him to the heart. I tend to be someone who tells the truth when they speak. I want to be someone whose yes is yes and whose no is no. But sometimes that comes off as a little harsh to those I love. Many people seek me for advice because they know they'll get the whole truth, and even if they don't, it's not what they want to hear. Truth is essential in a relationship. People who merely nod their heads in support and never speak the truth, do not help someone grow in their calling as a husband or man. It is essential to tell the truth in everything.
However, I've learned over the years how to use more tact when it comes to how I word my words. Instead of being negative and using truth to tell my husband how I want things done, I have learned to express my feelings openly using I statements. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me when I speak.” I now say, “It hurts me when I ask you to repeat something I have said, and you can't remember.”
As Christians, we often confuse grace with truth. We believe if we are not saying something kind or encouraging, then we're not being Christians. However, Jesus didn't mince words with the Pharisees when he called them a brood of vipers. Jesus spoke the truth plainly to everyone. This dedication to truth is how he allowed himself to claim he was the way, the truth, and the life. Sometimes, you must say hard things to your spouses. It will be difficult for them to hear if they are not mature emotionally. However, we must help them to grow into mature people and believers in Christ. Not only this, but we will also become better spouses to us as they become more mature in the faith.
Interestingly, God chose to use words to speak the earth into being. Words carry great weight if they can form an entire earth simply from God's command. In the same way, our words have great weight in the lives of our spouses. Correction has its place in the marriage, but we must use tact. It's essential that we not only point out the things that need to be changed but also affirm and encourage the things our spouses are doing well.
We can encourage and compliment them when they work hard, sacrifice for the family to act as servants, or put our needs before theirs. When we can balance truth and grace, a marriage can be better for it. Marriage cannot survive merely on silence and happy words all the time. This silence creates a superficial marriage in which the spouse who's only encouraging never gets to express themselves regarding their own needs.
Words have great weight in our spouses’ lives. Use them graciously. Speak to your spouse with encouragement. Balance truth and correction with grace and encouragement. Their marriage will thrive when both spouses can learn to balance these things.
Father, help us not to use our words like a sword but rather like a salve for the brokenhearted. Allow us to use truth and grace when speaking to our spouses. Allow us to treat our spouses with words that show how we want to be treated. Allow God to be glorified and honored when we use our words to build people up.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/fizkes
Related Resource: 3 Simple Ways to Feed Your Spouse More Praise
How often do you intentionally stop to praise your spouse? To recognize and affirm their character or actions? Many of us probably cringe at answering these questions because we know we could do better! If you struggle to feed your spouse praise regularly, this episode is for you. Listen in as we share some practical steps we all can take to criticize less and affirm and build up our spouse more. If this episode helps your marriage, be sure to subscribe to Team Us on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode.
