The One Big Sign You Need Some Marriage Classes - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - August 31
The One Big Sign You Need Some Marriage Classes
By: Peyton Garland
“But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. Be merciful to those who doubt; save others by snatching them from the fire; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.” Jude 1:20-23 (NIV)
Want to know the one big, undeniable, flagrant sign your marriage could use some help? Classes? Tweaking? Outside counsel? Reflection, repentance, and restoration?
Thankfully, the sign is simple to recognize and impossible to ignore.
It’s if you’re married.
Yep, that’s it. That’s the one big sign your marriage could use some work.
Thus, none of us has a decent excuse. We don’t have a justifiable reason to let pride convince us that we are doing marriage perfectly. This also means that our spouse isn’t always the sole one to blame for the arguments, tension, financial strain, or lack of romance.
Just as we constantly need refresher courses or conferences for our jobs, just as we always need an annual physical and bloodwork to check up on our bodies, our marriages require habitual refinement... And it all starts with the individual.
When we forget this, or worse, purely neglect it, we leave little room for God to work on our hearts, which leaves the fate of our marriage in the hands of two sinful humans.
My husband and I have been married for almost nine years, and we are currently participating in our church’s 15-week marriage series, re|engage. It’s a program that challenges couples to reconnect and rededicate their lives to one another through God.
Before we dove into any coursework for this program, our leaders passed out notecards and asked us to write our first name on one side. They then told us to draw a circle around our name. We were then told that the only person we were to work on over the next 15 weeks was the person whose name was written in the circle on our notecard.
Truth be told, we can make every effort to fix the person we are married to. We can try forcing conviction upon them, employing guilt to motivate them to change, or twisting their words and actions to prove our point. Even still, at the end of the day, it’s up to an individual how they respond to the working of the Holy Spirit inside them. Anything and anyone else can’t and won’t heal the heart of another human being.
We were encouraged to hold onto our notecard and place it somewhere where we would frequently see it, whether in our Bible or on our bathroom mirror. I crammed mine into the one spot on our fridge that had a smidge of space left between pictures, magnets, and my oldest son’s artwork. Ironically, this one, unintentional placing turned out to be the very spot I most often look: directly beside the refrigerator door lock that keeps my cute but tornado of a toddler out of our food.
Every day, multiple times a day, I see that notecard and must remind myself that my marriage only changes if I am willing to change. Are there cases of adultery, abuse, and neglect that call for a different understanding and approach to addressing problems? Absolutely! But all other problems boil down to two individuals who must be committed to laying aside their pride and selfishness to allow God to work on them as separate people, trusting He will do the same within their spouse—without their impatient, passive-aggressive, or anxious assistance.
As our passage in Jude encourages, save your marriage from the fire, whether it has raged for years or is only a flame of frustration. Do so by showing mercy, respecting the powerful work of Almighty God, and by allowing Him to fortify your heart and marriage.
A Prayer:
Father, grant me humility, compassion, and mercy as I bring my marriage concerns to you. Strengthen my resolve to respond to your conviction as I work on my own heart, trusting that you will work on my spouse’s heart. Thank you for marriage. Thank you that it’s a reflection of your relationship with your church—which is something that will always be worth saving from the fire. Amen.
Action Steps:
1. Devote daily prayer time to your marriage, asking God to reveal areas where your heart needs work.
2. Write your name on a notecard, draw a circle around it, and place the card where you will see it often, serving as a constant reminder to focus on the Holy Spirit’s work in you within your marriage.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Giuseppe Lombardo
Related Resource: God’s Healing Work in Life’s Hardest Seasons
What if your hardest season is actually where God is doing His deepest work? I sit down with Victoria Arlen to talk about her book The View Is Worth It and her journey through suffering, mental health struggles, and finding hope on the other side. If you’re walking through a valley or wondering if things will ever get better, this conversation will remind you that healing is possible, hope is real, and your story isn’t over! Like what you hear? follow Bought + Beloved with Kirby Kelly on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
