Stop Believing You Can’t Change - The Crosswalk Devotional - May 24 

Stop Believing You Can’t Change
By: Cindi McMenamin

Bible Reading:
If anyone is in Christ, this person is a new creation; the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come. (2 Corinthians 5:17 NASB)

Are you letting your past mistakes define you? And do you believe that you will always be the way you are?

I will admit that I’ve often said, “That’s just the way I am.” But I realize now how pathetic that sounds. It’s another way I let this culture’s message to “Do you” and “Express your individuality” excuse my failure to grow spiritually.

Maybe, like me, you’ve found yourself saying things like:

• "I have control issues. That's just the way I am."
• "I am an adult child of an alcoholic, and I struggle with certain dysfunctional behavior. That’s just the way I am."
• "Because of what I’ve been through in my past, I’ll always be insecure. I'm just that way."
• "I will never trust another person. That’s just the way I am.”
• “Sorry, I got so defensive. You should know I’m just that way.”

A sure sign that we are stuck in pain from our past is when we excuse our behavior by saying, “That’s just the way I am.” Or, when we believe that we can never grow beyond a particular place, emotionally or spiritually.

A crucial step to healing and wholeness is to renew your mind to think differently. If you have a relationship with God, the old you that was “just that way” is gone. And the new you is now “just like Him.”

In Galatians 2:20, the apostle Paul gave us a goal, perspective, and motto for our old selves. He wrote: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved and gave himself for me.” And the song of our new identity is found in Second Corinthians 5:17: “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

Intersecting Faith and Life

So why are we not living like new, regenerated creatures? In my experience, it's easy to go back to the old way of thinking if I'm not making a conscious effort to remember who I really am (because of my regeneration in Christ) and to redirect my thoughts.

You can renew your mind and receive your new identity—the one that is just like Him—when you do these two things:

1. Let God define who you are. This happens when you read and begin to understand the Scriptures. Let God define who you are—not your parents, your past, a teacher from long ago, a friend who used to criticize you, a boyfriend or husband who walked out on you, a therapist’s diagnosis, or a boss who thought you weren’t capable of much. The more you read in the Bible about God's heart for you, the more you will begin to see yourself as a regenerated, transformed child of His and act like it. Discover in God’s Word how He sees you and how to start living like His child. 
2. Lock up the negative thoughts. To let God—and not the voices in your head—define you, you must learn to bring “every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). When you hear negative thoughts from your head defining you, capture them instead of letting them run loose. Be determined only to listen to the thoughts that are obedient to God, consistent with His Word’s description of you. Tune your ear to hear the thoughts of God's that say “I have loved you with an everlasting love…” (Jeremiah 31:3); “I have called you friends” (John 15:15); and "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2).

Who are you really when you are in Christ? Renew your mind—and receive your new identity—with the beautiful descriptions of you found in God’s Word. And walk with your head higher, focused on the fact that you are not just that way. You are, instead, just like your Heavenly Father.

Lord, my labels–and those that others have given me—are much harsher and critical than the loving labels You have given me in Your trustworthy Word. Help me to see myself as You see me, redeemed and renewed.

Further Reading:
Ephesians 1
For more on living according to your true identity, see Cindi’s book, When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts.

Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Merlas

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker, Bible teacher, and award-winning writer who helps women and couples strengthen their relationship with God and others. She is also a mother, a pastor’s wife who has been married 37 years, and the author of 19 books, including When Women Walk Alone (more than 160,000 copies sold), The New Loneliness: Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated, and The New Loneliness Devotional: 50 Days to a Closer Connection with God.  For more on her speaking ministry, coaching services for writers, and books to strengthen your soul, marriage, and parenting, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.

Check out fantastic resources on Faith, Family, and Fun at Crosswalk.com! 

Related Resource: Relapse, Trauma, and the Power of Community

Caroline Beidler still vividly remembers cracking open her first beer under a big oak tree. She was 11. In this episode of Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic, host Jon Seidl sits down with Beidler—managing editor of recovery.com, author, and addiction recovery advocate—to explore her powerful story of childhood trauma, early addiction, spiritual awakening, relapse, and ultimate restoration through faith and community. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, share this podcast or follow Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!