Bridging the Distance Life Creates - Crosswalk PLUS Marriage Devotional
Bridging the Distance Life Creates
By: Jennifer Waddle
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV)
The old saying, “two ships passing in the night,” originated from a poem written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow called Tales of a Wayside Inn. One of the stanzas says,
“Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.”
Although written in 1863, Longfellow’s words describe the way we interact with one another with “only a look” before moving on to the next thing. The distance created in marriage by life’s constant demands causes husbands and wives to drift like ships passing in the night, and if we’re not careful, the chasm becomes far and wide.
I remember the long seasons when my husband worked grueling hours, including weekends, holidays, and 12-hour night shifts. He would crawl into bed during the early hours of the morning, just as my alarm was going off for the day. During those years, we learned that bridging the distance life creates takes concerted effort. It required us to recognize the danger of letting life take over without thoughtful planning for reconnection. It also required a lot of grace for one another, resisting blame, and communicating our needs.
The good thing is, even the smallest of efforts can make the biggest difference. When couples are determined not to let the busyness of life create a chasm of distance, small, consistent steps can be taken to bridge the gap. Here are a few examples:
-Setting your alarm clock 45 minutes early to eat breakfast with your spouse
-Meeting for a short walk at lunch
-Waiting to eat dinner together after the kids are in bed
-Scheduling date nights at least twice a month
-Sending audio messages throughout the day
-Implementing a no-media hour before bed to spend meaningful, uninterrupted time together
Each intentional action is like another wooden slat added to the bridge crossing the distance. And the more creative efforts you make, the more solid the bridge becomes. By doing this, you show your spouse that they take precedence no matter how demanding life is. It shows priority in marriage, living in unity with God and each other. As 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” A little encouragement goes a long way and fortifies the marriage union more than you know.
Distance in marriage happens, but it doesn’t have to be accepted as the norm. In some cases, big steps are needed to restore unity. This might include changing careers, moving locations, getting counseling, or attending a marriage intensive. Whatever it takes to maintain harmony is worth the time, money, and effort.
Let’s resist Longfellow’s poem as “ships passing in the night” and instead be one ship moving through life’s waters together. This is, after all, the way God intended marriage to operate; with a little creative planning, your relationship can be smooth sailing.
Prayer:
Gracious God, please bridge the distance between me and my spouse, the distance created by life’s obligations and responsibilities. Help us implement small changes leading to big results and make each other a priority as You’ve intended. Please remind us of the importance of intimacy and help us slow down long enough to enjoy each other without interruption. Strengthen us to resist the evil one who only wants to steal, kill, and destroy. We commit our marriage to You now, in Jesus’ holy name.
Application: How will you incorporate small changes to bridge the distance in your marriage? Consider starting a new habit this week to reconnect with your spouse in a meaningful way. Implement one of the examples above, or choose your own and set an alarm on your phone as a reminder.
Challenge: If the chasm between you and your spouse feels impassible, take a brave step towards healing. Sign up for couples’ counseling, mentorship, or therapy, and don’t let another day go by without bridging the distance, one faithful step at a time.
We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today's devotional! For more of this premium marriage devotional, visit here.
