How Hardships Help a Marriage Revive Hope - Crosswalk PLUS Marriage Devotional

“Remember when we thought ___________ was hard?”

My husband and I ask each other this question more often than I’d like, filling this gap with something new several times a year. 

One minute, the two of you think the newborn phase is hard to manage—the blowout diapers, endless spit-up, crying fits, gassy bellies, sleepless nights, giant diaper bags piled to the brim with pumps, extra clothes, teething rings, pacies, and everything else. 

Next, your baby becomes a toddler… and you’d take the spit-up any day over the tantrums. Over trying to speak logic to a little frontal cortex that isn’t fully developed. Over trudging up to the Hobby Lobby cashier to ask how much you owe for that glass pumpkin your kiddo busted. 

Then one child becomes two, and you forget what it means to sit down as you bounce between each little one’s needs. 

Then your oldest is diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and all the other “hard” things seem like bliss.

From here, you wonder when the gauntlet ends, where you must go to pass the baton to someone, anyone, and why God lets life feel so heavy sometimes. 

On these days when my soul feels like a torrential storm, when I swell with anger and feel as though goodness has become a fatal victim to my circumstances, I have to remember two things: 

1. God’s character isn’t defined by my inability to understand what He is doing. In other words, His goodness isn’t limited, thwarted, or changed by my inability to see His goodness orchestrating wonders and miracles outside my finite perspective. 

2. Deciding to walk away from God because I don’t like my circumstances won’t change my need for Him. It won’t change the fact that my only access to hope and light and joy and miracles is found in Him. 

For these two reasons, a Christian must realize and accept that it’s not only good but necessary—dire, even—that you and your spouse are unified in your faith, unwilling to abandon a God you don’t always understand but have chosen to hold fast to. 

In fact, Scripture commands this in 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers…” 

On some days, my husband is the one who is overwhelmed by grief at our son’s diagnosis, and it’s my turn to speak the truth and see the promises and positives God has made so beautifully clear in my heart and mind. Other times, it’s my turn to be angry and cry while my husband gently says, “This isn’t God’s fault.”

We were given each other for intimacy and commenting, of course. God doesn’t believe in loneliness. However, we were given to each other, as equally yoked believers, to spur one another on and mirror the comforting promises of Psalm 23:

To take turns carrying the other through valleys and shadows of death. 

To tell each other that the enemy’s place at your table won’t last, that Truth will starve Him in the name of Jesus. 

To whisper on the long nights that the house of the Lord is an eternal gift worth clinging to. 

You can have hope and hurdles at the same time, especially when someone is championing you, when they are celebrating your victories and encouraging you despite your failures. It’s in this understanding and by practicing this truth that we discover how hardships can, indeed, strengthen a marriage and produce an unshakable hope. 

Let’s Pray:

Lord, when life feels heavy and our marriage is tested by circumstances beyond our control, help us hold tightly to You and to one another. Give us the strength to encourage one another, to carry one another through difficult days, and to trust in Your goodness even when we cannot see what You are doing. Fill our marriage with renewed hope, steady faith, and the assurance that You are walking with us through every season. Amen.

Action Steps:

1. Reread today’s Scripture and prayerfully draft a list of ways you can spur on your spouse, whether they are in a plentiful or desertous season. This might look like writing them a prayer and leaving it by their nightstand or sending them a text that lists all the ways you see God working in their life. Consider how they best receive love and get creative! 

2 Draft a prayer to God, praising Him for His goodness, no matter the season. Share this with your spouse so the two of you have a way to come together in prayer when both of you feel spiritually depleted in a hard season. This doesn’t have to be an eloquent or lengthy prayer, just one that’s authentically committed to believing in God’s goodness and inviting Him to protect your family’s faith.

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Peyton Garland is an author, editor, and boy mama who lives in the beautiful foothills of East Tennessee. Subscribe to her blog Uncured+Okay for more encouragement.

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