How Loss Can Change a Marriage for Good - Crosswalk PLUS Marriage Devotional

Loss changes us. It affects the way we think, feel, believe, and relate to others. In marriage, seasons of grief can sometimes build walls of misunderstanding and create emotional distance between spouses. But they don’t have to.

Even in the midst of pain, loss can become a springboard for growth. It might seem impossible at first, but difficult seasons can deepen your dependence on God and increase your appreciation for one another. 

Whether you’re grieving the death of a loved one or facing another painful loss, it doesn’t have to define your marriage in a negative way. With God’s help, hardship can draw you close rather than drive you apart. Here are a few ways loss can strengthen your relationship and change your marriage for the better.

After 35 years of marriage, I can look back and see how I’ve depended heavily on my spouse. When something breaks, my husband fixes it. When there’s a financial worry, he works hard to find a solution. When one of our kids is in trouble, he offers wisdom. I am truly grateful I can count on him through thick and thin.

While a certain amount of dependency on our spouse is good, full dependency on God is even better. We need the Lord in every way, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. During times of loss, only God can meet our truest needs.

Instead of looking to our spouse to have all the answers, we can believe by faith that God will provide. As we lean on the Savior, we’ll exemplify His peace and comfort through difficulty, encouraging each other along the way.

Resist the urge to place all the responsibility on your spouse through this difficult trial. Set a guard against finger-pointing and blame. These are not beneficial for anyone. As Jesus said in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” From a place of rest, we can manage loss with peace, the kind of peace that surpasses understanding.

When loss strikes a family, prayer is essential in helping us navigate the waves of unbearable pain. Coming together as a couple and seeking God’s help is a beautiful act of faith and encouragement. In contrast, when couples pull apart, they unknowingly create a chasm that gets wider over time.

Remember Jesus’ words in Matthew 18:20 when He said, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

We are not alone in our grief. Each time we gather in His name, He is with us. So, instead of praying alone, try coming together even if it’s awkward at first. Envision the Lord between you, drawing you closer as a couple. The immense heartache you’re experiencing is covered by His mercy. He is with you and loves you with an everlasting love.

I appreciate my husband’s steady and unwavering faith during times of loss. His example of steadfastness greatly encourages me, even when it feels like everything is falling apart. In turn, he appreciates my devotion to seeking God’s wisdom through every trial. As I meditate on the Scriptures, listen to faith-building podcasts, and worship through the tears, my husband sees my heartfelt attempts to remain faithful through grief.

Loss doesn’t have to divide or distance you as a couple; it can create a newfound appreciation for one another as you see things through the lens of deep love and compassion. With Jesus’ help, let the pain of loss change your marriage for good. Let it bring you together in prayer, in faith, and dependency on a Good Father.

Let’s Pray:
Gracious God, we turn to You at this difficult time. We trust You to carry us through, strengthening our marriage and protecting us from the divisiveness of the enemy. We look to You, Lord, to provide comfort and peace, even when it seems impossible. Thank You for my spouse - the one You’ve given me as a companion through this life. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Application: Write a letter of appreciation for your spouse, telling them how grateful you are to have them by your side. Assure them of your unwavering support during this season of loss.

Challenge: How can you invite God to use this season of loss to strengthen your marriage instead of creating distance?

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/fizkes

Jennifer Waddle is the author of several books, including Prayer WORRIER: Turning Every Worry into Powerful Prayer, and is a regular contributor for LifeWay, Crosswalk, Abide, and Christians Care International. Jennifer’s online ministry is EncouragementMama.com where you can find her books and sign up for her weekly post, Discouragement Doesn’t Win. She resides with her family near the foothills of the Rocky Mountains—her favorite place on earth. 

We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today's devotional! For more of this premium marriage devotional, visit here.