How Prioritizing Time Together Reignites Love and Connection - Crosswalk PLUS Marriage Devotional
How Prioritizing Time Together Reignites Love and Connection
By: Michelle Lazurek
"Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days." Ecclesiastes 9:9
It had been a crazy season of life. My husband's job had changed, requiring him to do additional work outside his regular job. Juggling the two jobs, plus my job and navigating my kids going off to college, we were like two ships passing the night. With one day off, we often used it to do chores around the house or catch up on any activities needed over the weekend. Our marriage was on the back burner, simmering slowly.
It was far from the ideal picture of what I thought a marriage navigating empty nest syndrome would look like. I envisioned us traveling and spending time together now that our time had been freed up from raising children. Instead, we had less time than ever.
One rare day, we had nothing to do. Instead of scurrying off to spend time in activities, we stayed home. We made a fire, played some games, and chatted. Our superficial conversation during the week deepened into our hopes, dreams, and thoughts about the future. At the end of our discussion, we rekindled our love for each other. As someone whose primary love language is quality time, I needed that boost to our time together to reignite our passion and intimate connection.
In the same way, couples need to spend time with God to strengthen their connection with him; they must also spend time together to reconnect and invest in their marriage. Marriages slowly fizzle when they don't have the proper time to connect.
How much time do you spend with your spouse? Are you like two ships passing in the night, barely speaking, and is the little time you have together spent taking care of children, running to different activities, or catching up on household chores? Recall the last time you had an intimate conversation with your spouse. It could be anything from your hopes and dreams to any issues in your marriage that need to be resolved.
Although these conversations can get complicated at times, they are imperative to the health of a marriage. Often, little grievances can manifest into big problems if they are not dealt with appropriately. When left unchecked, these little grievances can become negative thoughts and feelings for a spouse. Soon, we start talking about our spouse to others, disparaging their reputation and causing a schism in our union.
Take the time to invest in your marriage, even if you only have 1/2 hour or hour to spend together, and do what you can to spend quality time with your spouse. Initiate conversations that may feel hard or uncomfortable but will lend themselves to a stronger marriage. Simply sweeping issues under the rug and not talking about them will not help the marriage thrive. It's essential to get alone and spend quality time together.
When you take the time to spend time together, those hard conversations will naturally evolve. Soon, the superficial conversation will give way to discussing your thoughts and feelings. If there are significant issues hidden under the marriage, they will be uncovered. It may end up in conflict, but conflict can be good when resolving problems. Conflict resolved appropriately can lead to a thriving marriage in the end.
Even if finances are tight and you can't afford date nights, get creative and see what you can do at home. Pull out some old board games and play together. Create a nostalgia night where you visit the places you used to go when you first started dating. Use DoorDash and split a meal from a new restaurant.
Try a new restaurant each month with different types of food. Do a retro movie night and rent old movies from past decades. You can spend quality time together with a little ingenuity and creativity and with little financial investment. However, if you have the money to splurge, book a getaway and spend the weekend together somewhere. Rent a cabin or B&B and see where the world takes you.
Enjoy your life together. Life is short. Spend the time necessary to give yourself the best marriage possible.
Father, let us be a couple that prioritizes spending time together. Help us discover new and exciting ways to spend time together and learn more about each other.
Reflection Questions:
The next time you sit down to eat a meal together, think of a question you can ask each other. Ask something that would help you discover something new about your spouse that you did not know before. What did you find out?
How can you create an affordable yet exciting date night for you both?
We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today's devotional! For more of this premium marriage devotional, visit here.
