Is Your Phone Getting the Best of Your Marriage? - Crosswalk PLUS Marriage Devotional
Is Your Phone Getting the Best of Your Marriage?
By Jennifer Waddle
“Be very careful, then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:15-16)
Would you have imagined fifteen years ago that your phone would become such a central part of your life? I know I certainly wouldn’t have. Time on our phones has become second nature. It’s as if they are a part of us that we can’t do without. We reach for them first thing in the morning, check them countless times throughout the day, and scroll until we fall asleep. Most days, my husband and I send funny reels to each other while sitting in the very same room!
But here’s a serious question to consider: Is your phone getting the best of your marriage? Is it interrupting intimacy, stealing quality time, or taking the place of deep conversation? So many of us have turned our phones into best friends of sorts. We enjoy them over coffee, ask for their advice, and never leave their side. However, God designed marriage as a covenant of companionship and oneness. Nothing should replace closeness with our spouse, our true best friend.
Phones are getting the best of our marriages without us even realizing it. Here’s how.
The thing about technology is it’s a gift when used wisely. After all, it keeps us connected with family and friends, provides helpful information, and allows us to access the Bible easily. But like many good gifts, technology becomes a problem when it disconnects us from those we love.
We monitor our children’s screen time, so why don’t we monitor our own? Let’s make the connection between our phones and the distance we feel in our marriages. And more importantly, let’s do something about it!
• Create phone-free hours such as mealtime, bedtime, and couple time.
• Choose a hobby to do together, such as crossword puzzles, archery, or flea marketing.
• Reconnect every day after work. Use this time to cook together, take walks, or cuddle on the couch.
Remember Proverbs 27:17, which says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” More connection with your spouse strengthens you as a person and builds a lasting foundation.
The enemy delights in anything that weakens unity, even if it seems harmless. And one of his key tactics is distraction. He distracts us from time with God and each other so that our faith and fellowship grow weaker over time.
But I say we flip the script and become hyper-aware of the enemy’s schemes. Here are Scripture warnings to take with us:
“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8 ESV)
“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” (Ephesians 6:11)
“And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.” (2 Corinthians 2:10-11 NLT)
Let’s take the ball back into our court and stop Satan in his tracks. Through Scripture truths, we can combat his temptation to let our phones distract us.
Paul's words to the Ephesians were written almost 2,000 years ago, but are just as timely for us today. “Be very careful, then, how you live...making the most of every opportunity.” (Ephesians 5:15-16)
One way of being careful is admitting how our phones compete for our attention. When we can’t find them for more than a few minutes, panic sets in. When we’ve missed a call or text, we rush to answer. Even when we’re in deep conversations with people, we are ultra-aware of our phone alerts.
Our spouses deserve more than half-hearted listening, interrupted discussions, and small snippets of our time. Come together to discuss ways to have healthy phone boundaries. Perhaps you’ll decide to keep phones in a central location overnight. Maybe you’ll consider making Sundays no-media days. Setting boundaries like these communicates something powerful to your spouse: You matter more. You have my attention. Our relationship is worth protecting.
When we intentionally place our marriage above our devices, we’re doing more than improving communication; we’re honoring the covenant of oneness and companionship. And that’s far more rewarding than time on our phones.
Let’s Pray:
Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of marriage. Forgive me for the times I’ve allowed distractions to crowd out the relationship You’ve entrusted to my care. Help me recognize when technology is competing for my attention and give me the wisdom to establish healthy boundaries. Teach me to be fully present with my spouse, which includes listening well, speaking with kindness, and treasuring the moments we share. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Reflection:
Are there times when your phone regularly interrupts meaningful connection with your spouse?
What feelings or habits make it difficult for you to put your phone away?
How could setting healthier phone boundaries help strengthen intimacy, trust, and communication in your marriage?
Challenge:
Challenge yourself to put your phone away for one hour each day and use that time to listen, talk, pray, or enjoy an activity with your spouse. How might this intentional time strengthen your marriage?
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/praetorianphoto
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