The Blessing of Patience in Marriage - PLUS Marriage Devotional

I've always criticized myself for lacking patience, and certainly, it's something I've struggled with most of my life. But looking back over three decades of marriage, there were many times when I exhibited a great amount of patience. For instance, being married to a shift worker taught me to patiently navigate missed birthdays, holidays, and weekends. Being a homeschool mom required me to teach my children with a miraculous amount of patience and grace. I've grown in this area and continue to be stretched through different seasons.

There's no denying the blessing of patience, especially in marriage. When navigating financial hardships, medical scares, intimacy issues, and everyday challenges, patience is like an adhesive that holds things together. If you and your spouse could use more patience in your marriage, here are a few things to keep in mind.

Patience Says, "I'm in This for the Long Haul."

Whether couples realize it or not, impatience, over time, can cause a deep sense of insecurity. Flippant remarks and offhand reactions can cause one spouse to question the other's commitment. This might manifest itself through careless comments such as, "I can't take it anymore," or "I'm so over this."

Guarding our thoughts is the first step in acquiring more patience. Our thoughts often dictate our words and actions. If negative thinking persists, it will only be a matter of time before we say something we shouldn't.

Colossians 3:12-14 says, "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."

Clothing ourselves in patience means gearing up for the journey. Daily, we choose to wear compassion, kindness, and humility instead of callousness, anger, and pride. I talk more about this in my book, Scarves of White: Replacing Our Issues with the Covering of Christ.

Most of all, patience assures our spouse that we are in it for the long haul. We no longer allow our thoughts or words to get the best of us, but instead, assure one another that, no matter what, we're in it together.

Patience Says, "You First."

My nature is to take the lead, which is something I've had to be careful of in marriage. Because I'm both outgoing and impatient, I've sometimes pushed past my husband's reluctance and made decisions without his input. Some of those decisions have been good, while others have been rash and inconsiderate.

Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV) says, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."

The blessing of patience is that it prefers the other person over oneself. It says, "You first." When this is practiced in marriage, the level of respect skyrockets as couples feel valued and appreciated. The more I yield to my spouse, considering his interests above mine, the more I feel at peace. My natural temptation towards impatience yields to surrendering my will and way, and our marriage has become stronger because of it.

Patience Says, "God's Got This."

There are countless things couples disagree on, from raising kids to what color to paint the kitchen. It's part of doing life together and figuring things out as you go. Patience helps tremendously by allowing couples to "agree to disagree" without becoming resentful. It says, "God's got this," and trusts the Lord to work things out according to His purpose.

The familiar passage in Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." The blessing of patience in marriage affirms that God truly does work all things out. It might not be as we expect, but over time, the Lord is faithful to come through.

Whether you're naturally patient or not, you can put this Godly attribute into practice by guarding your thoughts, giving your spouse preference, and remembering God is in control. And the more you implement it, the more natural it will become.

Let's pray: Lord, please produce the fruit of patience in me. Ease the tension and stress I feel so I can learn to answer my spouse with kindness and grace. Help me slow down a little so that I'm not tempted to respond hastily or flippantly. Let patience bless our marriage like never before, creating a stronger bond between us. In Jesus' name, amen.

Application: Be mindful of your thoughts and words this week. Pay attention to what you say and how you say it. Commit to responding to your spouse in gentle, patient tones.

Challenge: Come up with a simple action plan for times when you're tempted to react impatiently. Perhaps, you can step outside for a few deep breaths, praying for the Holy Spirit's help.

Jennifer Waddle is the author of several books, including Prayer WORRIER: Turning Every Worry into Powerful Prayer, and is a regular contributor for LifeWay, Crosswalk, Abide, and Christians Care International. Jennifer’s online ministry is EncouragementMama.com where you can find her books and sign up for her weekly post, Discouragement Doesn’t Win. She resides with her family near the foothills of the Rocky Mountains—her favorite place on earth. 

We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today's devotional! For more of this premium marriage devotional, visit here.