The Secret to Making Your Love Grow - Crosswalk PLUS Marriage Devotional

Adjusting from “me” to “we” caused some epic arguments and some sweet reconciliations, followed by more arguments. Eventually, we did adjust, but amidst the ups and downs, I often wondered: What is our relationship missing? What’s the secret to making your love grow?

Later on, we had three kids in two years (have mercy). During that hectic, busy time, we came together on most of the big issues, but we seemed to bicker a lot about little things, like: “It’s your turn to clean the kitchen—not mine,” and “Nobody appreciates all I do around here.”

Perhaps you can relate.

And I often wondered: will our marriage ever get better? What’s the secret to making your love grow?

Thankfully, that year, I made a big, game-changing discovery.

In 1 John 4:7 it says that “love comes from God.” In other words, God is the source of love. This means that all the love here on earth (including marital love) originates from Him, for God is love.

This verse taught me that love isn’t something you “work harder on” or somehow achieve. No, love is something you must receive.

And in order for love to grow, you must first receive love from God regularly.

I’d never thought about this before, and neither had my husband. We realized that we were trying to give something we didn’t have on our own. This simple verse led us to the source of love—to spend time daily receiving God’s love.

Paul taught the Ephesians to do the same thing. He wrote:

“May you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves.”  Eph. 3:18 TLB

This happened over 30 years ago, and here’s what I’ve learned: the more love you take in, the more you have to give away. Experiencing God’s love daily changed not only my marriage but every relationship I had—because it changed me.

This quote sums it up:

“Well-loved people love others well.”

But you may be wondering, how do you receive God’s love? Here are a few practical ideas:

-Spend time with the Lord daily. Seek to know Him better and you will love better.

-List specific ways God has displayed His love to you and praise Him for it.

-Meditate on Bible verses about God’s love. (See  1 Jn. 3-5)

-Thank God daily for loving you so abundantly and completely.

-Consider how to display God’s great love to others. (See 1 Cor. 13:4-7)

-Share with others how comforting God’s love is to you.

-Tell your spouse and your kids how much God loves them.

-Ask the Lord to supply the love you need to make your marriage better than ever before. The secret to making your love grow is recognizing how much you are loved.

A Prayer for Greater Love:

Dear Lord, today I open my heart wide to receive your love. Please let it fall fresh upon me, like living water. Flood my heart with your love until I absolutely overflow with it.

Today I recognize how well you first loved me:

Although I didn’t know you or love you, you gave me your very best—your Son. (Jn 3:16)

When you called me to faith in Jesus, you saved me from sin and death.

Now through Christ, you’ve given me a new life. (2 Cor. 5:17)

Now I have a place in your kingdom, a place in your family and most importantly, I have a special place in your heart, forever. (1 Peter 1:3-5)

Thank you, Lord, that nothing can take away your powerful love for me. (Rom. 8:38-39)

Now that I’ve freely received your love anew, help me freely give it:

Inspire me to do something especially kind for my spouse today.

Fill my heart with your grace until it overflows into my words and deeds.

Enable me to be considerate of my spouse.

Empower me to love sacrificially today (as you do).

Help me be generous in my thoughts toward my spouse and my actions.

Oh Lord, you are the source of love, so please grant me the love I need to make my marriage better. Grow my love for my spouse today. Make our love greater than it was yesterday, and make it even greater tomorrow. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Reflection Questions:

1. How has God shown His love to you in the past?
2. What is your favorite verse about God’s love? Read it several times today or commit it to memory.
3. When was the last time you thanked God for His wonderful, sacrificial love? Be sure to thank Him today.
4. What specific things could you do today to make your spouse feel loved and valued?

May Patterson, author of the book, Seeking a Familiar Face, began writing over a decade ago in response to God’s grace. And by His grace, she now has a popular blog and has written many articles for various magazines, including Focus on the Family, Upper Room and iBelieve.com. She has also published a Bible study, A 40-Day Guide for Seeking God, and speaks at a variety of events, both nationally and internationally. Her desire is to encourage people to draw closer to God, like never before.

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