What Many Marriages Miss about Christ as Our Bridegroom - PLUS Marriage Devotional
What Many Marriages Miss about Christ as Our Bridegroom
By: Peyton Garland
“The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete.” John 3:29
Many people say you can’t expect the wedding to be anything like the marriage. It’s a warning that love, in a broken world, doesn’t live on a blissful high, surrounded by cameras and bubbles and laughter and dancing. Love doesn’t look like a glamour queen or a Calvin Klein model every day. It doesn’t have caterers, servers, or family and friends waving sparklers.
To a degree, I believe this is a fair warning. Even still, I wonder if this word of caution, though well-intended, is nearsighted and, dare I say, wrong.
Please understand that I’m not advocating for having the expectation that marriage is a fairytale. After all, it’s two flawed people navigating a flawed world together. However, I am asking you to reconsider the doom-and-gloom mindset we have placed on marriage in light of John 3:29. Our above text shares that Christ is our bridegroom, and we are His bride.
As a lover of literature and literary devices, I don’t think these metaphors are an accident. Not only did John the Baptist make these distinct references to the “bride” and “bridegroom” here in Scripture, but Jesus later refers to our relationship with Him in the same manner when He shares the parable of the ten virgins (Matthew 25:1-13).
Take a few minutes to read the passage in Matthew, and notice how Jesus doesn’t call Himself the “husband” and us the “wife.” Instead, He uses the terms “bride” and “bridegroom,” which are most associated with the wedding day.
Meanwhile, when I refer to the man I married, I say:
“Let me talk to my husband first.”
“My hubby is the best!”
“My husband is unavailable right now. Can I take a message?”
“My husband is a fantastic father.”
Perhaps Jesus uses “bride” and “bridegroom” so we never forget that when Christ looks at us, no matter how we have failed, He still sees our glamour, hears our laughter, and dances over us with mad, reckless love.
Of course, this reckless love is also refining. Would it be love if it didn’t call us to greater things? Still, when Christ convicts us and allows life, whether in hard times or mundane routines, to mold us into more than we dared believe, He does this with excitement, joy, and anticipation. This doesn’t mean He shrugs off or rejoices in our suffering, but it means He can see who these hard times will make us, the peace and patience and wisdom and steadiness we will inherit through His guidance and richness.
It’s much like watching a professional wedding video. Over half of the production is the “getting ready” process, and, often, you get a glimpse of the bride before all her makeup. You see the groom before he’s spiffy in his tux. In theory, these aren’t the “prettiest” moments, but they are heavy with a joyful anticipation that’s contagious. Then, the bride and groom finally see each other at the altar, and their love is sealed before God for eternity.
I’m no theologian, but I imagine this is why Christ calls us His bride, even before we are made perfect. He finds joy in the anticipation, the getting ready, and the becoming. He doesn’t see flaws when we aren’t dressed in our finest. He sees potential. He sees a victory in sight. He sees us, fully, and still calls us His bride.
We humans rarely wear our eternal glasses well. Typically, we are shortsighted, impatient, and easily distracted by what’s in front of us. But just as Christ beholds all we are and all we will become, we should behold our spouse for who they are and who we see them becoming. May we cheer them on in this fallen world, where learning, healing, and humbling oneself are uphill battles. May we proclaim God’s sweet victory over them as we rest in the perfect love of our good, good Father.
Prayer: Father, thank you for loving us for not only who we are but for who we are becoming. Thank you that your patience, mercy, and grace free us to grow into your perfect, lovely image. Just as you behold us as your bride, may we behold our spouse with a love that is patient, kind, and rich in hope and joy. We praise you for your matchless love, Lord. Amen.
Discussion Questions: When was the last time you and your spouse took a few moments to look through your wedding photos and reminisce on that day? Just as Christ anticipates the day we will be made whole, how can you apply hope and joy to your marriage as you anticipate all that your spouse can become?
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