“For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them.”2 Timothy 1:7 (TLB)
When you’re full of fear and anxiety, you don’t get close to other people. Instead, you back off. You fear being rejected, manipulated, vulnerable, hurt, or used, and these fears cause you to disconnect from the people around you.
This fear is as old as humanity. When Adam and Eve sinned, God came looking for them. Then Adam said, “I was afraid . . . and I hid myself” (Genesis 3:10 ESV). People have been hiding ever since.
You may not physically hide, but you hide your true self. You don’t let people know what you’re really like. You don’t let them see inside you. Why? Because you believe that if you show people your true self and they don’t like it, you’ll be up a creek without a paddle. Instead, you pretend to be someone you’re not.
Fear leads to three things that will damage your relationships:
Fear makes you defensive. You’re afraid to reveal yourself, but people inevitably spot some of your weaknesses. And when they point out those weaknesses, you defend yourself and retaliate.
Fear keeps you distant. You’re afraid to be open and honest—to let people get close to you. Instead, you withdraw and pull back, hide your emotions, and become defensive and distant.
Fear makes you demanding. The more insecure you are, the more you try to control and dominate. For you, it might look like always having to get in the last word in a conversation. Being demanding is always a symptom of fear and insecurity.
Clearly, fear only damages your relationships. But where do you get the courage to take the first step to connect with someone and move toward deeper intimacy?
You get it from God’s Spirit in your life. Paul says in the Living Bible paraphrase, “For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them” (2 Timothy 1:7).
How do you know you’re filled with God’s Spirit? You’re filled with God’s Spirit when you’ve become more courageous in your relationships. Rather than fearing people, you’re free to love them and enjoy being with them.
The Bible says that “God is love” (1 John 4:8 TLB) and that “perfect love drives out all fear” (1 John 4:18 GNT). The more of God you have in your life, the less fear you’re going to have in your life.
The starting point in connecting with anyone is to pause, pray, and say, “God, give me the courage to take the first step.” Are you ready to pray that for one of your relationships today?
Rick Warren is an innovative pastor, renowned author, and global influencer known for founding Saddleback Church, the Purpose Driven Network, the PEACE Plan, and Hope for Mental Health. He has written several best-selling books, including The Purpose Driven Life, which has sold over 35 million copies in 200 languages. Time magazine named Warren the most influential spiritual leader in America and one of the 100 most influential people in the world. Since stepping down from the lead pastor role at Saddleback in 2022, Warren has continued to inspire people through his Daily Hope Devotional and podcast Pastor Rick’s Daily Hope. His first book in a decade, Created to Dream, was released in April 2023.
For more Daily Hope with Rick Warren, please visit pastorrick.com!
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