“You are only hurting yourself with your anger.” Job 18:4 (GNT)
When you’re helping a friend whose marriage has ended, you can comfort them by supporting them with prayer and sharing their pain. You can also encourage them to do one of the hardest things after a divorce: forgive.
This is the most important issue your friend will have to deal with. If they’re going to move forward and heal from all the pain, they need to ask for forgiveness, accept forgiveness, and offer forgiveness. Because if they don’t, they’re going to get stuck.
There are three common emotions people often feel when their marriage has ended—anger, guilt, and bitterness. If held onto, those emotions can ruin the rest of their life.
How then, as a friend, do you help your friend with forgiveness?
First, encourage them to stop blaming others. Saying “It’s all their fault” or “It’s all my fault” is a waste of time and energy. Blaming has never solved a problem, made you feel better, or lessened your pain. “You are only hurting yourself with your anger” (Job 18:4 GNT).
Second, encourage them to ask God and others for forgiveness. You can be there for them as they seek God’s forgiveness and consider whether they need to ask somebody else for forgiveness. When they can face their own shortcomings, they can begin to heal.
The Bible says, “My guilt overwhelms me—it is a burden too heavy to bear. But I confess my sins; I am deeply sorry for what I have done” (Psalm 38:4, 18 NLT).
Third, encourage them to offer forgiveness to those who’ve hurt them, whether it’s their ex-spouse, in-laws, or judgmental friends. Not because others deserve it, but because they need to let go and get on with their life, because God has forgiven them, and because they’re going to need more forgiveness in the future.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says this: “Get rid of all bitterness. . . . forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (NIV).
When someone’s going through a crisis—like a divorce—they need a friend who will humbly walk with them through the healing. Because, as we read in Ecclesiastes, “Two are better than one . . . If either of them falls down, one can help the other up” (4:9–10 NIV).
Rick Warren is an innovative pastor, renowned author, and global influencer known for founding Saddleback Church, the Purpose Driven Network, the PEACE Plan, and Hope for Mental Health. He has written several best-selling books, including The Purpose Driven Life, which has sold over 35 million copies in 200 languages. Time magazine named Warren the most influential spiritual leader in America and one of the 100 most influential people in the world. Since stepping down from the lead pastor role at Saddleback in 2022, Warren has continued to inspire people through his Daily Hope Devotional and podcast Pastor Rick’s Daily Hope. His first book in a decade, Created to Dream, was released in April 2023.
For more Daily Hope with Rick Warren, please visit pastorrick.com!
Your Gift Brings Hope to the World
God has dreams for your life!
In Pastor Rick’s book "Created to Dream: The 6 Phases God Uses to Grow Your Faith," you’ll learn how to discover God’s custom-made dream for your life—a dream that is bigger and better than anything you could ever dream up on your own! And you’ll find practical help for navigating challenges, delays, and detours that stand in your way.
We’d love to send you a copy as our way of saying thank you for your generous gift below to help take the hope of Jesus to more people through Daily Hope.
Request yours when you give today—and thank you for your partnership!
*All gifts will be doubled up to the full amount of the grant. Thank you for your generous support! *The USA IRS code permits you to deduct the amount of your financial gift to Daily Hope that exceeds the fair market value of materials you received from Daily Hope.
