May 12, 2011
How to Enjoy Your Family
When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule for everything she says (Proverbs 31:26, TLB).
Friend to Friend
Family is important to God. He created it before He created the church and, as with each of His creations, He made a plan for it to succeed. At the heart of that plan is love. To be part of a family is to be loved. Over the last two days, we have examined the first steps to loving your family; to build trust, to serve them with joy, to plan well and to work hard. We can also love and enjoy our family by guarding our tongue.
Control your tongue.
The power of the spoken word is great. Words are like seeds. What we plant will grow. If we plant negative, critical words, we will reap a family that is negative and critical. Look for the good in your family then speak it. Be a cheerleader for your family because everyone needs a cheerleader.
A little girl was eating breakfast with her Daddy. They were on a “date,” spending special time together. He was telling her how wonderful she was and how proud he was to have her as a daughter. When he had done what he thought was a sufficient job, he picked up his fork and began to eat. His daughter put her hand on his arm and stopped him with these words, “Longer, Daddy, longer.” He didn’t eat much food that day but a little girl’s hungry heart was fed. Do have any hearts like that in your family?
CBS released a movie about Karen Carpenter, the great singer who rose to stardom singing with her brother, Richard. At the age of 32, she died unexpectedly of heart failure due to many years of abuse caused by Anorexia. What brought on Karen's fatal obsession with weight control? It seems that a reporter once called her "Richard's chubby sister."
Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD: keep watch over the door of my lips.”
Before speaking, ask yourself the following questions.
T is it true
H Is it helpful
I is it inspiring
N is it necessary
K is it kind
Think before you speak. Use the five to one ratio when correcting - five positive remarks to one negative comment. The harder the truth, the more love we should use in saying it. It is our responsibility to use our words to train and instruct our family about the daily things in life, but more importantly, to instruct them about the eternal things. We are very concerned about providing for our children when we need to be more concerned about caring for our children. The greatest care we can give is to disciple them by speaking words of truth. Guard your tongue.
Take care of yourself.
The Proverbs 31 woman certainly did. “She is energetic. Her own clothing is beautifully made--a purple gown of pure linen. She is a woman of strength and dignity and has no fear of old age” (Proverbs 31:17; 22; 25).
Families are hard work. In order to make our family relationships replenishing, we must be replenished. Psalm 46:10 instructs us to “Be still, and know that I am God.” Let’sapply this verse specifically.
Be still, MY MUSCLES, and know God’s RELAXATION.
Be still, MY NERVES, and know God’s REST.
Be still, MY HEART, and know God’s QUIETNESS.
Be still, MY BODY, and know God’s RENEWAL.
Be still, MY MIND, and know God’s PEACE.
In order to be all that we can be to our families, we must be all that we can be mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. We must be balanced. The Proverbs 31 woman was energetic and hard working for the tasks she was gifted and called to do. Proverbs 31:25 tells us this woman could laugh “at the days to come.” The picture here is of a woman who enjoyed her life. She worked hard, but she knew how to stop and plant a vineyard. She liked to shop and watched for bargains. She liked to look beautiful, dressing in purple fine linen.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.”
We cannot give our heart to God and keep our body for ourselves. When you take care of yourself, you are honoring God and loving your family.
Remember your audience.
The final way to enjoy and love your family is to remember who your audience should be.
Proverbs 31:28-31 “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
It is easy to run the race of life for the wrong audience. Our audience should be God, our mate, our children and then others. One day we will stand before God as keeper of the family He has loaned to us for a short time. Will He be pleased? Will He say “Well done?” Will our family stand and bless us? Will others say this woman loved and enjoyed her family?
"Lord, you know my inadequacies. You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but in every area of my life. As you broke the fishes and the loaves to feed the five thousand, now take my meager effort and use it to bless my family.
Please make up for the things I did wrong. Satisfy the needs that I have not satisfied. Wrap your great arms around my family and draw them close to you.
And be there when they stand at the great crossroads between right and wrong. All I can give is my best, and I, today, choose to do that. Therefore, I submit to you my family and myself and the job I have done and will do as a wife and mother. The outcome belongs to you." (Author unknown)
Now it’s your turn
How would you define “family” in your life?
Which one of the steps covered in this series of devotionals do you need to take in order to have the family God wants you to have?
Set aside time to pray for each family member.
More from the Girlfriends
I truly believe our greatest opportunity to impact the world is the way we love and enjoy family. I pray that you have been blessed by this study. I encourage you to examine your family in light of these principles. Identify one that needs some work and get started. It is never too late to start and it is always too early to give up, girlfriend. And know that Gwen, Sharon and I are right there with you on this journey.
Be sure to check out Mary’s resources on marriage, parenting and difficult relationships. If you need help dealing with the pain in your life, enroll in Mary’s weekly online Bible Study,How to Handle Hurtand learn how to face and deal with the pain in your life. Need a friend? Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.
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