Day 4: Losing Yourself in Motherhood? Discover Your True Identity in Christ - October 2, 2025
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” — 2 Corinthians 5:17
Every season of motherhood, we come to a crossroads where we look at ourselves in the mirror and think, “What happened to the person I used to be? I’ve changed so much – my desires and purpose have changed. I don’t even recognize who I am anymore!”
I remember clearly a few of those pivotal moments when I had to process, evaluate, and then choose to move forward, realizing that a new and different version of “me” had evolved! I had lost interest in hobbies or activities that I used to enjoy. The person who used to go out with friends in the evening or on weekends had turned into someone who now preferred to be home and whose main goal of the day, at times, was to take a good nap!
The person I had been before motherhood seemed to have disappeared.
In my current season of having adult children, I have had to learn to rely even more on my identity in Christ because my children aren’t here for me to pour my life into like they were when they were young. Knowing that God has a purpose for my life as the mom of grown and married children, because my identity is in Him—not in my children—I have been able to move forward in my new roles.
Can you relate? Be encouraged! You are not alone in this challenging process. Motherhood really is a process of slow and consistent change. You are changing, your children are changing, and life is changing—it can feel like you are losing yourself. And yet, the message of the gospel clearly proclaims a different truth. The very thing we think we have lost—ourselves—is an invitation from God to call us to embrace our new self, our identity in Christ.
When faced with the reality that we are losing who we once were, we are given an opportunity to look to God and His Word and ask Him to show us who we truly are in Him. Our former self, which may have been defined by certain achievements, goals, or activities, has faded, but a new identity is unfolding—one that is rooted in God and our life hidden in Him, His grace, and His purpose.
A doorway to a deeper identity is opening: You are a precious and loved child of God, chosen and known.
The Gospel and our new identity
When we surrender our hearts to Jesus, we become a new creation and are called to lay down our lives for Him. The calling of motherhood is very similar to our calling to follow Christ. We lose who we used to be: our independence, our comfort, and, often, our plans. On the other hand, we discover that we have been given something so much better: a secure identity in Christ.
We learn that our worth and identity are not found in what we do, what we accomplish, how clean our home is, or how put-together we are. We have been redeemed. Christ gave his life so that we might find ourselves secure in our identity in him.
What Can We Do?
- Be in the Word. Read and become familiar with God’s Word, specifically the verses that remind you of how God sees you—such as Psalm 139:14 (“I am fearfully and wonderfully made”) or Ephesians 2:10 (“We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works”).
- Change your way of thinking. Instead of seeing yourself as “just a mom”, remind yourself that you are a follower of Christ who cares for and serves precious children you have been given to disciple.
- Say no to comparison. Limit anything that might tempt you to compare your life to the life of other moms. The enemy wants you to think everyone else has it together but you. He wants to drag you down and hold you captive in discouragement and defeat.
- Ask God to show you where you are growing. Notice the moments when you respond with patience and love to your fussy toddler, when you find yourself joyfully rocking your baby in the middle of the night, or when you surprise yourself at the end of the day because you notice that you enjoyed the work God has given you to do. This is your new identity becoming more evident in you!
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
- Can you relate to feeling like you don’t recognize yourself in the season of motherhood that you find yourself in?
- Read 2 Corinthians 5:17. How can you apply this verse and allow it to reshape the way you view your identity?
- Spend time thanking God for the work He is doing in you as you grow in your understanding of your identity in Christ?
LET’S PRAY
Father, I confess that I often feel lost in motherhood, and I miss the “old me”. I sometimes long for the days when I could be more productive because I felt good about myself and often received admiration and affirmation from others. Please continue to remind me that in You, I am made new. It’s okay to leave the “old me” behind. Teach me to see my daily calling as sacred. Please help me stop looking for validation in what I do. Help me to be content in who I am in You. Amen.
Motherhood may make you feel like you’re losing yourself, but in Christ, you are being found. You are a new creation, continually being formed into His likeness. The patience and gentle word you spoke today, the love you poured out when you felt exhausted, and the choice to rely on God’s strength are proof that the real “you” is not gone. She’s being refined. She’s being rooted in something eternal.
Motherhood is reshaping your life, and sometimes, that reshaping feels like loss. But God is at work, forming a new creation in you. The old may feel gone, but the new—rooted in Christ—is already here. Your identity is secure, unshakable, and eternal.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/The Creative Tandem
Related Resource: Soft Words for Hard Days: A Conversation with Aundi Kolber
Some days feel heavy. Some moments leave us wondering how to keep going. If you’ve ever longed for encouragement amid life’s hardest moments, I have a special episode of The Love Offering for you. This week, I’m joined by therapist and bestselling author Aundi Kolber to discuss her latest book, Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days. This beautiful collection of quotes, scriptures, prayers, and gentle exercises is designed to be a balm for your most tender places—a reminder that you are never alone on your journey to healing.
In our conversation, we explore:
✨ How to hold space for yourself and others in difficult seasons
✨ The power of compassionate words when life feels overwhelming
✨ Practical ways to embrace healing and take one more step forward
If you like what you hear, be sure to subscribe to The Love Offering on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
