Healing from a Broken Home - iBelieve Truth - March 1, 2024
"For he wounds, but he binds up; he shatters, but his hands heal." Job 5:18, ESV
Most days, when I think about my childhood I am consumed with anger. Why did God allow such pain to be a part of my upbringing?
I wonder if you can relate.
Did your parents neglect to properly protect and shield you from harm?
Maybe they abused drugs and alcohol, adding chaos to what could have been a happy, peaceful home.
Or perhaps you had caregivers that hurt you. Whether that was physical, verbal, or emotional neglect, the wounds followed you into your adult life.
Whatever happened to you to make you call your home broken, I just want you to know that my heart breaks with you and for you. Revisiting those times can feel so painful and disorienting. And the wounds, scars, and consequences are deep and far-reaching.
While the Lord allowed wounding to be an integral part of our story, at the same time, He provides healing for our souls (Job 5:18).
Here are three great starting places if you are looking to heal from your broken home:
1. Lament and Grieve
Denying and simply trying to forget the hard things that happened to you in the past does not make them disappear. God made our minds and bodies with an incredible design. We may think we are blocking out the bad memories, but our minds and bodies often remember even when we are unaware. This may look like becoming extremely emotional in a circumstance or moment that does not warrant that kind of response. Or it may look like panic attacks, outbursts, or depression. Some people even experience physical illnesses and autoimmune diseases as a byproduct of repressing unresolved feelings and memories over extended periods of time. But like Job, we have to get honest with God about the pain we are experiencing. Try reading and praying the Psalms as a starting place if you struggle to find words for your specific situation.
2. Embrace the Process
Healing, grieving, and forgiving are all processes that cannot be forced. Like physical wounds, certain things like changing the bandages often, cleaning the wound, and protecting it from infection all increase the likelihood of healing. But it still takes time for the body to remake the cells and close the wound. Our emotional and spiritual healing processes take time, too. All healing has a timeline, and it's usually slower than we expect. The process is less linear and more cyclical. New things come up as seasons change that we must revisit, grieve, lament, and possibly forgive again and again with the help of the Lord. We never stop needing God; it is in our struggle that we realize our weakness and inability to fix things on our own. Keep moving towards healing, knowing that God promises to finish the work that He starts in us (Philippians 1:6).
3. Learn from Others
God never wastes what happens to us. Quite the opposite, He uses the tragedies of our lives to bond us with other believers. Sometimes, this may look like confessing to one another the sins we committed or the sins committed against us so that they can pray for us and we can heal (James 5:16). Other times, God may allow you to witness the pain of others and empathize and resonate with the similarities in their story so that they can feel seen, known, and loved by God through you. Learning from others may also look like finding mentors, tools, and wisdom from books, podcasts, sermons, counseling, etc. If Jesus can use spit and mud to heal a blind man, He will also use resources in your life as the raw materials for your healing (John 9:6).
In our humanity, it can feel impossible to reconcile why God allowed some of the hardships in our lives to occur. However, we can be certain that healing is possible. We can start healing from a broken home by lamenting and grieving, embracing the process, and learning from the healing journeys of others.
Let’s pray:
Jesus,
Please help us not to stay stuck in the shattered places of our lives before we experience the ways your hands bind and heal. Jesus, I pray that the person reading this from a broken home would believe that healing is possible for them. Lord, help us courageously start the healing process and trust that you will complete it. Help us to be patient and open to the unique ways you heal. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Valentina Shilkina
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If you've been feeling tired, overwhelmed, depleted, or just quietly wondering where God is in the middle of a very full life — this episode is for you. And honestly? It might be for me too, because I'm recording this in one of those seasons myself.
Today we're doing something a little different. Instead of going deep in a passage, we're talking about what to do when deep feels like too much — when you need less, not more. Specifically, I'm walking you through one of my favorite practices for weary seasons: handwriting scripture.
Not typing it. Not scrolling past it. Actually writing it out, slowly, in your own hand — because something happens in your brain when you do that. The words land differently. They go deeper. And over time, they become part of that personal library of God's voice that the Holy Spirit can pull from when you need it most. That's what Psalm 119:11 means when it says I have hidden your word in my heart — it's scripture moving into your long-term memory, where it lives and stays even when you haven't opened your Bible in weeks.
I'm sharing the five verses I wrote out for myself today — and why each one hit me fresh even though I've known some of them for years. This episode is part of our How to Study the Bible Podcast, a show that brings life back to reading the Bible and helps you understand even the hardest parts of Scripture. If this episode helps you know and love God more, be sure to follow the How to Study the Bible Podcast on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
