How to Build Healthy Friendships - iBelieve Truth: A Devotional for Women - May 06, 2026
"They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, 'Sit here while I pray." He took Peter, James, and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. Stay here and keep watch." Mark 14:33-34
In one of my former churches, one of my passions was to help women achieve emotional and mental freedom. I began meeting with a woman from the church. For a few years, we bonded and began sharing more intimately. But after a falling-out, our friendship quickly ended. After I grieved and let go of the relationship, I realized it was for the best.
As I analyzed the relationship, I realized I gave way more than I received. The person I mentored does not possess the spiritual or emotional maturity to be the type of friend I needed. Although it was nice to have a friend who could navigate through difficult challenges I was facing at the time, I realized that having no friends was better than having this friend, as this person did very little to help me in the relationship.
Have you ever had a falling out with a friend? Have you, like me, felt that in the relationship you gave more than you received? Although it is important to put others' needs first, friendships work best when they are reciprocal. This means that each party gives an equal amount that they receive. In the same way, a person can receive spiritual guidance, and the amount of help they give in return should be the same. But if that doesn't happen, the relationship can become stale and one-sided. Soon, both parties feel resentful as one party feels they're giving more than the other.
Jesus understood this dynamic. He took Peter, James, and John with him to the garden of Gethsemane. Although they were not near him, they were supposed to be keeping watch for him. When Jesus had an important job to pray and ask the Father to change his mind and his will for his life, the disciples let Jesus down.
They couldn't stay awake for just a few hours before quickly falling asleep. This made Jesus vulnerable to the attacks that were ready to come. Jesus understood that this was the beginning of his death and resurrection. But he needed his three friends to keep watch. However, the friendship, just like mine, was clearly one-sided.
Take a moment to analyze your life. If you answered yes to having a falling out with a friend because you gave more than you received, ask yourself if you were ever that same friend. Were you ever someone who took more than you gave? Did you find yourself frustrated by others who took and did little in return?
The best relationships thrive in mutual trust and respect. It is difficult to respect someone when that person is completely selfish in their view of your relationship. Although it is important to give and serve in your relationships, there are times when you will need others to have your back. When they don't, and they fail on more than one occasion, it may be time to analyze whether that person is right for you.
In some cases, it may be appropriate to sever the relationship entirely. You can only have a friendship based on love and respect if the other person is willing to change. However, if they are not, and even after you have extended forgiveness, they continue to operate in the same way, it may be important for you not to continue that friendship. Placing boundaries in your life in situations like this can be best for your emotional, spiritual, and even physical health.
We all need people to do life with us together. We are not meant to do life alone. Let us be people who give mutual love and respect in each relationship so that our relationships can thrive rather than merely survive.
Father, help us to love one another. Let us be people who give to each person with whom we are in a relationship, with mutual respect and love. Let us be mindful of how we treat others, and when we feel used or even abused, let us be the ones to draw firm, clear boundaries. Help us to discern when it is time to sever our relationship completely. Amen.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/JasonDoiy
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If you've been feeling tired, overwhelmed, depleted, or just quietly wondering where God is in the middle of a very full life — this episode is for you. And honestly? It might be for me too, because I'm recording this in one of those seasons myself.
Today we're doing something a little different. Instead of going deep in a passage, we're talking about what to do when deep feels like too much — when you need less, not more. Specifically, I'm walking you through one of my favorite practices for weary seasons: handwriting scripture.
Not typing it. Not scrolling past it. Actually writing it out, slowly, in your own hand — because something happens in your brain when you do that. The words land differently. They go deeper. And over time, they become part of that personal library of God's voice that the Holy Spirit can pull from when you need it most. That's what Psalm 119:11 means when it says I have hidden your word in my heart — it's scripture moving into your long-term memory, where it lives and stays even when you haven't opened your Bible in weeks.
I'm sharing the five verses I wrote out for myself today — and why each one hit me fresh even though I've known some of them for years. This episode is part of our How to Study the Bible Podcast, a show that brings life back to reading the Bible and helps you understand even the hardest parts of Scripture. If this episode helps you know and love God more, be sure to follow the How to Study the Bible Podcast on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
