Introduction: When Motherhood Feels Like Loss and God Is Making You New - September 22, 2025
“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” — Matthew 16:25 (ESV)
In the past three years, I have had the privilege of welcoming three grandchildren into our family. I now have a 2-year-old granddaughter, a 6-month-old granddaughter, and a 7-month-old grandson! I find it hard to believe that I am in this season. Just yesterday, I changed diapers, put little ones down for naps, read bedtime stories, and handed out snacks. But here I am watching my daughter and daughter-in-law navigate their lives while caring for babies and toddlers.
As I have watched these two beautiful, capable women adjust to their new roles, I have been reminded of what an abrupt change having babies is and how becoming a mother changes you in every way. The change happens on every level. You become a different person physically, emotionally, and mentally when you become a mother, and it can be hard to recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror. Sometimes I wonder how we survive all that we experience after having a baby!
There is another part of who we are that can impact how we face our motherhood journey and can be what carries us and enables us to survive and thrive! I am talking about who we are spiritually—our relationship with God.
I am different in every way from 35 years ago, when I became a mom for the first time. God has used my motherhood journey to strip me of “me” and to conform me more into His image. Yes, I lost myself. But God introduced me to something so much better. He allowed me to be pushed to limits I never imagined so that I could choose to loosen my grip on “me” and who I was so that I could learn how to cling to Him.
The Cost
Motherhood has been an amazingly beautiful journey that I wouldn’t trade for anything, but it would be wrong for me to sugarcoat it. The reality of motherhood is that it is filled with loss – loss of sleep, freedom, time for yourself, and the loss of the identity you once held. Much of what you do is unseen, unnoticed, and uncelebrated. Life changes, and at times, you hardly recognize who you are as you observe the life you are now experiencing that is nothing like it used to be. Jesus’ words in Matthew 16:25 meet us right in that place. In fact, it sounds like He is speaking right into a mother’s life: “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”
The Gospel and Loss
The message of today’s culture speaks loudly. Just spend a few minutes scrolling on social media, and you will be completely inundated with a message opposite to what we are called believers. While the culture tells us to hang onto our freedom and cling to ourselves and our identity, the gospel message tells us that it is only when we surrender our lives to Jesus that we will experience true freedom and life.
The gospel tells us that Jesus gave up everything: His home in heaven, comfort, and life. Everything about Jesus’s life on this earth was characterized by sacrifice and loss. But it is because of his willingness to surrender all those things that, ultimately, came the greatest victory: He provided eternal life for us.
Motherhood follows a similar pattern in many ways. We must surrender ourselves to the changes and loss that come with having children and answer the call to lay down our lives in daily, hidden sacrifices. Even though it feels and looks like loss, it is something God has designed to become a soil of transformation.
Motherhood draws us into a deeper relationship with God and teaches us how to emulate His life in the everyday moments. Rocking a fussy baby at 3 a.m.? You’re learning dependence on the God whose mercies are new every morning. Cleaning up after toddlers? You’re living out Christ’s humble service. Listening to your child’s tears and frustrations? You’re reflecting the patience of the Father who listens to us endlessly. Letting go of what you might want to do to meet your family’s needs? You’re practicing surrender. Every loss and act of surrender becomes a pathway for Christ and His character to be formed in you.
We Are in This Together!
Over the next seven days, we will examine motherhood through the gospel lens. Let’s walk together through exhaustion, loss of freedom, lack of control, and fading identity and discover the beautiful, life-giving ways God wants to meet us there.
Right now, you might only be able to see the loss. But let’s pray that, by the end of this 7-day journey, you will be able to see that, in Christ, you are being made new. And that, like me, in 35 years, you will find that you have been in a process of being conformed into the image of Christ!
Some things to think about:
Could God be beginning to do His deepest work in the losses we have discussed? Could we be being made new in losing so much of ourselves? Could motherhood be an invitation for us to release all we have held onto so that we might find a richer, deeper, and fuller life?
Which part of motherhood feels most like “loss” for you?
How might God use that place to shape Christlike character in you?
Can you think of one way God has already met and transformed you?
Let’s Pray
Lord Jesus, I admit that sometimes motherhood feels like too much, and I don’t feel like I am the same person I used to be. It often feels like I’ve lost myself in the fatigue, meeting needs, and caring for my family. Help me believe Your promise—I will find it when I lose my life for Your sake. Help me
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Atipati Netiniyom / EyeEm
Related Resource: Soft Words for Hard Days: A Conversation with Aundi Kolber
Some days feel heavy. Some moments leave us wondering how to keep going. If you’ve ever longed for encouragement amid life’s hardest moments, I have a special episode of The Love Offering for you. This week, I’m joined by therapist and bestselling author Aundi Kolber to discuss her latest book, Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days. This beautiful collection of quotes, scriptures, prayers, and gentle exercises is designed to be a balm for your most tender places—a reminder that you are never alone on your journey to healing.
In our conversation, we explore:
✨ How to hold space for yourself and others in difficult seasons
✨ The power of compassionate words when life feels overwhelming
✨ Practical ways to embrace healing and take one more step forward
If you like what you hear, be sure to subscribe to The Love Offering on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
