Don't Kid Yourself, You Need Mom Friends - iBelieve Truth: A Devotional for Women - May 21, 2025
"As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul." 1 Samuel 18:1 (NIV)
Perhaps it’s experiencing childbirth, no matter the method, or breastfeeding, or finding the voice to set boundaries for our babies, but when we become mothers, resilience settles deep inside our bones.
Too often, though, we allow this resilience to mask itself as invincibility. We don’t do this deliberately; mom guilt cancels any true notion that we do things perfectly. Still, mothers are great at believing they can balance it all, and if a few of the spinning plates fall, just add sweeping to today’s to-do list.
Before we know it, exhaustion is our ill-fitting companion, but it’s not only present in the physical chores: the sweeping, diaper changing, meal making, laundry folding, disciplining, song-singing, craft making, carpooling, and memory curating. It’s in the emotional burden of motherhood, the one we hide with concealer and happy Facebook posts, the one we pretend doesn’t exist because we’re invincible. We're supermoms, remember? The women who can do it all by themselves.
That’s where I found myself about a year ago. As a new mother who had moved to a new state and didn’t know any moms her age, I kept doing all the things by myself. My husband is a commercial pilot, and with a travel schedule like his, I was handling most every parenting responsibility solo. I was even balancing a full-time WFH job with watching my crawling baby all day.
While these sweet but hard, hard days made me think I just needed a nap… eventually… what I needed most was another mama saying, “I get you. I got you. I’ve got your and your baby’s back.”
I needed mom friends. The kind who aren’t cliquey and gossipy and full of judgment. The kind who will say the days are long, admit they haven’t washed their hair in days, and confess that they feel they’ve lost a piece of themselves.
I needed real mom friends.
My husband and I recently launched a young families life group at our church, and though hosting makes me feel pressure to keep a tidy house, coordinate babysitters, and ensure everyone brings the right food, it has been life changing to watch so many pairs of tiny feet stampede through our house, slinging leftover food, sharing toys (kind of), and climbing into everyone’s laps. What’s made this chaotic but lovely picture so pivotal is the moms behind it all. The moms who ask for prayer for patience with their littles, for understanding and wisdom when they don’t agree with their husbands about certain parenting strategies, and for grace as they mess up in one way or another.
These friendships are vulnerable. And vulnerability is powerful. It makes a way for others to feel they aren’t alone in their struggles and that someone else is cheering them on—no prerequisites attached.
Being a mother who loves her baby is the only qualification needed to earn another mom’s championing. Isn’t that a treasure?
Now, hear me out, not all moms can be trusted. Be wise in the company you keep, mama. Recognize who is open and honest about their failings, who shows up for you just because, and who doesn’t spend their time degrading other women.
Maybe you’ve been burned by trying the mom friend thing and think it's best to keep trekking on your solo path. I get it. Betrayal stings. Bitterness can fester easily in these mucky waters. But why let betrayal and bitterness have the final say? Remember, though David learned he couldn't trust King Saul, he didn't let that stop him from developing a deep, brotherly relationship with Saul's son, Jonathan. Jonathan and David became lifelines for each other, a true example of what it means to love another above yourself.
You deserve more as a mama, and your baby deserves more, too. Your children need to see your example of building community, establishing healthy friendships, and leaning into others on hard days. They need to know there’s power in admitting your weaknesses and beauty in encouraging others who are in the trenches.
Betrayal and bitterness won’t cease to exist simply because you avoid connection with others. Only you can combat their loneliness-inducing side effects by getting a little uncomfortable, sending a few texts, and getting together with moms who want to love on you and your baby.
Don’t kind yourself, mama. You need mom friends. The good ones—the female Jonathans and Davids. And trust me, they’re out there.
Let's pray:
Lord, making friends as an adult is hard... so much harder than in kindergarten, before others had hurt us or betrayed our trust. As I seek to create a community for myself and my family, I pray that you place women in my life who love you, honor their husbands, and passionately raise their children in your truth. May I find true mom friends who challenge and nurture me in my walk with you. In the strong name of Jesus, I pray, Amen.
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Today we're doing something a little different. Instead of going deep in a passage, we're talking about what to do when deep feels like too much — when you need less, not more. Specifically, I'm walking you through one of my favorite practices for weary seasons: handwriting scripture.
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I'm sharing the five verses I wrote out for myself today — and why each one hit me fresh even though I've known some of them for years. This episode is part of our How to Study the Bible Podcast, a show that brings life back to reading the Bible and helps you understand even the hardest parts of Scripture. If this episode helps you know and love God more, be sure to follow the How to Study the Bible Podcast on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
