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My Spouse Changed Overnight! - I Do Every Day - February 27, 2020

  • 2020 Feb 27

My Spouse Changed Overnight!
By Janel Breitenstein

Said no one ever.

When my husband and I first married, my parents’ house was still flooded with the chaos and hormones of my teenaged siblings.

Having recently crossed the Jordan to adulthood, we watched my parents navigate. I imagine they quarterbacked with a similar level of wisdom I possess for my own teens these days (i.e., We’re all winging it and calling a whole lot of audibles).

But my husband pointed out, “I like the way they expect your sister to be in a process and not have it all together.”

He was right. My parents believe in God’s long game.

Recently, I remembered my husband’s words.

He’d frustrated me in the same old ways, patterns we’ve known and refined for 20 years. I knew forgiveness would come, but change always feels slow with my own junk or his.

I prayed angry prayers that might have resembled slamming, throwing. But there was that tap on the shoulder: Let both of you be in process.

God’s time-space architecture is way out of my league. I see my marriage in present or past tense. God saw our eternity before one of our days came to be (Psalm 139:16).

But I would prefer to pull up to God’s drive-thru: “I would like spousal/personal change, please!” Then steer to the next window and gratefully open my arms to answered prayer and a packet of ketchup. I’m lovin’ it!

And although God absolutely traffics in miracles, they tend to be less of the lightning-bolt variety. They’re more often everyday miracles of dying to ourselves. Of learning holiness.

Whatever “process” you’re muscling through, sweating and bleeding—there’s One who has His own skin in your game. Whose version of success isn’t just for now, but forever.

Can people really change, deep-down? Paul Tripp and Tim Lane weigh in.

The good stuff: Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:2)

Action points: In what area of behavior do you wrestle with believing God’s “long game” for your spouse? What questions does your heart ask in the middle of the waiting—and how might God want you to give Him those cares (Psalm 55:22)?

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