I Fake-love You
By Janel Breitenstein
Ever noticed how some expressions of real love seem to describe fake love?
Love means never having to say you’re sorry.
We never fight.
I’m following my heart.
Let’s step back from the Top 40 and Nicholas Sparks for a minute.
In his book Love Like You Mean It, Bob Lepine writes:
Most of us got married because of how our spouse made us feel … So we said “I’ll move in and wear a ring and share a house payment and have kids with you—as long as you keep making me feel that way.”
… Most of us get married to get, not to give.
Real love isn’t defined by all the feels. Relational smooth sailing. Doing what you want. Maintaining an escape hatch when you’re so over it.
In fact, that kind of love may be the most fake. It doesn’t do the hard, committed work of genuine love.
First Corinthians 13:4-8 elaborates on real love: Patience. Kindness. Humility. Generosity. Gentleness. Virtuosity. Honesty. Tenacity. Resilience.
Here’s what it doesn’t say: Love feels good. It never responds to another’s pain and desires unless it wants to. It never argues. It makes sure others pull their weight. Love says whatever it’s thinking. Love sticks around till emotion does us part.
Real love is frequently counter to what comes naturally. But Christ showed love by His own death.
If genuine love is revealed in its sacrifice (patience, kindness, humility)—real love gut-punches all imitations structured around the opposite: personal satisfaction, happiness, and self-actualization that rarely deliver.
Wanting to know if your love is real? Take a look at its heart-center. If it first aims to honor God, then spouse? You’ve got the makings of real, lasting love.
The good stuff: By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives... (1 John 3:16)
Action points: What’s one love myth you’re most tempted to believe? Considering Satan is the father of lies—what’s one Scripture you can memorize to contradict that lie when it appears?
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