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You Look Tired! I’ll Get You Some Coffee - Warrior Mom Wisdom - Week of January 1

  • 2019 Jan 01

Warrior Mom Wisdom Devotional

Jacob’s speech therapist, Kristen Hall, who was becoming my dear friend, leaned over the therapy table and rested her elbow on one of the miniature dinosaurs that happened to be part of Jacob’s therapy session and said, “You look tired; I’ll get you some coffee.” She left the room for a minute and came back with a traveling coffee mug that read: “Speech Class is where the action is at.” I was thankful, and I took a sip like it was water and I had been in the desert for a week. Precious little Jacob worked on his new three-syllable word, din-o-saur, and I told Kristen that I was exhausted and I had a test at 3:30 but I’d be fine. We didn’t talk anymore because we were there for Jacob.

I was going to school part-time trying to finish my four-year degree, and I was taking a four-class load, which was actually considered full time. I was insane, and I wasn’t prepared for this art history exam. As you know, I thought about becoming a speech therapist, and I decided that if I did, I would be like Kristen and I would give the parents coffee and a hug.  She was really the first person or professional that showed a real concern for me – as Jacob’s mom.  I’ll be very honest with you for a moment. In the beginning of all of Jacob’s appointments and therapy and all of it, I was a little mad that everyone just “expected” Jacob’s family to do whatever it took to get him what he needed. Really, I wasn’t upset with them as much as I was upset with the fact that we had to do the impossible that really made me mad, sad, scared, and exhausted all in one.  I know that sounds bad, but IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO MAINTAIN A DAY JOB WHILE meeting the needs of your special needs son during the day. And I say that because, had my boss not been an angel to me, I would have lost my job like all the other moms that I knew. And well, sometimes, in my exhaustion, I got irritated because nobody ever asked how I was. I’m just being honest here.

The only way I know how to be is “real.” Sometimes I say what I really feel, even though, maybe I shouldn’t. Or, it’s not that I shouldn’t say it, but maybe I don’t know how to say it without offending anyone. Frankly, I wasn’t doing so well. I was having a hard time trying to pay all the bills and buy groceries, even before Jacob’s special needs came into existence, and now that his special needs existed at the rate of $180.00 an hour for speech therapy that “wasn’t covered by insurance,” and a special speech school at the tune of $15,000 a year, on top of the frustration of only having three fourths of a college degree, and dentist bills and the need for new tires, well, I just wasn’t doing well. I wondered each day how it would all work out. The only thing I knew to do was to keep working and to keep working towards the goal of speech for Jacob. But seriously, it’s not shocking that I got shingles; it’s really not shocking at all.  And I only tell you all that so that maybe you’ll understand that on a particular day, when I didn’t feel like I could stand, let alone take one more step forward, I thought about how everyone wanted to know how JACOB was all the time, and I wondered HOW I would make it through. That’s all. I’m just human.  It’s not that I’m a mother who doesn’t want to be a mother. Don’t take it that far. It’s just that I’m a mother who knows, and who knew full well, that it was and is all about Jacob (and Faith); it’s just that in really hard times, when one is physically and emotionally exhausted because you are meeting the needs of your special needs child, it’s nice to hear someone ask how YOU are, as opposed to just telling you what YOU NEED TO DO for your son who has special needs and then casually sending you on your way. That’s all.

I hope I explained it well. I tried. And I’m being honest with you because you may be like me right now; you may be having a hard time in a demanding circumstance, and I’m being honest at the risk of someone else who may read this and think I’m horrible. I’m being honest simply so that you will know that I know how it feels – And I’m being honest because that’s all I know how to be when it comes to hardship and struggles and getting through – honesty, and venting helps sometimes too, and so that’s what this chapter is:

It’s a thank you to Kristen Hall for offering me coffee when I could barely stand, and it’s an opportunity for me to reach out to you, Warrior Moms, in the event that you are going through a hard time, to say: “I know how it feels to be exhausted, and so I offer this chapter to you as if it were a cup of coffee from a friend on a hard day.”

A CUP OF COFFEE ON A HARD DAY

A cup of coffee on a hard day

From a friend it’s so

Nice to hear them say

You look tired

Are things going your way

What is it

Is it the struggle

Or a major storm

That has you caught

With your heart torn

Is it the traffic

In your mind

Is there no reason

No rhyme

Around you

How are YOU

No not everyone else

I know they are fine

You said so yourself

I’m asking you

Because you seem

A little low

If I gave you a candle

Would you make a wish

And blow

What would you wish for

Oh you can tell me

My Father in Heaven

Has given me the KEY…

I’m not just ordinary

And now that you hear

My voice

Do you think it’s scary

I know you don’t

For you believe

Even though

Your eyes

Can’t see

You started to talk

And I answered back

So put your troubles

Up on this rack

I’ll carry them for you…

Yes I know

I’ve worn your shoes

I can read your mind

But I like to hear

You

Talk to me

And cancel fear

Is it the traffic

In your mind

Is there no reason

And No rhyme

Look around you

What do you see

Can you sense a near

Victory

Chase out doubt

Cast away failure

If you close your eyes

You can see your savior

Standing at the door

Urging you

To walk toward the harvest

For the workers are few

Few people

On this earth

Will care for you like a mother

Does from birth

So don’t walk around expecting others

To be amazing

That’s all I’m saying

They’ll let you down

But I wear the crown

That pardons Me to ask

TO ME it is a simple task

But I’m God

The first and the last

I’ve poured drinks

I’ve even washed feet

Only I can defeat your doubt

HOW ARE YOU

A cup of coffee on a hard day

From a friend it’s so

Nice to hear you say

Lord, Lord

I’m tired

And need You to lead the way

Love,

Kristina

 

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

Kristina Seymour loves to encourage and equip women through the Word and through community. She is the author of The Warrior Mom Handbook, The Warrior Mom Leadership Manual, and The Warrior Wife Handbook; they are available at Amazon.com. Kristina's Bible studies are for women who desire to live by faith in the midst of their everyday lives. She has learned that women can't survive on caffeine and animal crackers alone; women in the Word and in community are united and able to stand firm. To learn more about Kristina, please visit her website, https://kristinaseymour.com/God loves to share His story of love and grace through us all, and Kristina believes that everyone has a story to tell.




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