A Prayer for Open Communication and Trust with My Teen - Your Daily Prayer - August 7

A Prayer for Open Communication and Trust with My Teen
By Maggie Meadows Cooper

Bible Reading:
“Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is our refuge.” - Psalms 62:8 CSB

Listen or Read Below:

Graduation has come and gone. The cap, the gown, the tassel, the parties, announcements and senior “lasts” are all a memory now. My beautiful eighteen-year-old daughter, my first-born remains, full of hope and anticipation as she makes preparations to leave for college next month. My fifteen-year-old son is balancing friends and fun with the discipline of summer football workouts and baseball games. And my ten-year-old-going-on-sixteen is living her best life Face-timing on her iPod, swimming, VBS-ing, and having playdates with friends. Parenting teenagers is not for the faint of heart, y’all, and it can be a lonely place when you feel like you don’t know what your teen is thinking and feeling. This season of life has been a combination of beautiful growth and uncomfortable challenges for our family, but one thing has remained constant: The Lord has held us together through it all.

Throughout the Psalms, David and others refer to the Lord as our “refuge.” If you look up the definition, you will find a number of different meanings for that word: “something providing shelter from pursuit, danger, or trouble; shelter or relief from danger or anxiety; shelter from storms, danger, or enemy attacks; or a place of rest and comfort in God’s presence.” Ultimately, a refuge is a place of safety, y’all. Psalm 9:9 says, “The Lord is a refuge for the persecuted, a refuge in times of trouble.” Our God is the ultimate refuge, but we must choose to go to Him. 

• “...All who take refuge in Him are happy.” Psalms 2:12
• “...let all who take refuge in You rejoice.” Psalms 5:11
• “Lord my God, I seek refuge in You…” Psalms 7:1
• “He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.” Psalms 18:30
• “I call to you from the ends of the earth when my heart is without strength…
  for you have been a refuge for me.” Psalms 61:2-3
  (italics mine)

In the same way that we are able to run to the Lord when life is hard, we need counsel, or we are weary with exhaustion, we want our teenage children to run to us. We want them to choose us as their refuge, the ones they seek out when they feel anxious and under attack from the Enemy. But as anyone who has had teenagers knows, it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes they go to friends, sometimes they go to social media, and sometimes they try to face things on their own before seeking our help. So, what can we do to promote a sense of trust and open communication with our teens? How can we be a refuge that mirrors the Lord and points them to Him? The truth is that I don’t have all the answers, but over the years there are a few things I’ve learned from my teenagers that you can do to create a safe space where your teens feel free to share their hearts. 

1. Model making the Lord your refuge. Let your teens see you pray, study your Bible, and worship openly. When they see you trust the Lord, they are more likely to trust both of you. 
2. Be proactive and set clear expectations and boundaries. If your kids are still young, go ahead and think about your family rules regarding curfews, phone use, relationships, etc. When you are able to lay those things out from the beginning, it creates a sense of security. If you have teens already, it’s never too late to start. 
3. Tell your teens you love them unconditionally and model forgiveness. Not just once or twice, but regularly. A friend shared that her son said he wasn’t afraid to tell her anything because he knew she loved him no matter what and would forgive him, just like Jesus does. 
4. Allow your teens to suffer logical consequences, but let them know they are not alone. When they understand that they will be held accountable for their actions, it grows a healthy respect of authority for you and the Lord. When they see you stand by them and love them through the consequences, they see a reflection of their Heavenly Father.
5. Guard your words. If our teens hear us talk about others, they are less likely to share their hearts for fear of the same being done to them. When they can trust that you will not share their struggles, or you ask permission first, they are more likely to speak openly.

Parenting is hard stuff but thank goodness we are not alone. If you are struggling, worrying about your teen, run to the Lord and pour out your heart to Him. He loves our babies more than we do, and He knows what they are going through, even when we don’t. Make the Lord your refuge, lay them at His feet, and trust Him. He is faithful.

Let’s Pray:

Dear Jesus,
I want more than anything to have a strong relationship with my teenagers, where they feel safe sharing their hearts with me, just as they can with You. Please give me wisdom and discernment on how to communicate with them best, knowing when to speak and what to say. Help them know that they can trust me, that I love them unconditionally, and that you are their ultimate refuge.
In Your Mighty Name, amen.

Maggie Meadows Cooper is a wife, mom, educator, author, and blogger with a longing for women to grow a heart for Jesus and others. She is the author of the children’s book “Bumper” and blogs at The Little Moments about what the Lord is teaching her through her children and everyday life. She contributes to Blogs by Christian Women, Devotional Diva, She Disciples, and Connecting Ministries. An educator with an M.Ed. in Early Childhood Education from Auburn University (War Eagle!), she has twenty years of experience working with young children. She loves all things chocolate, real Coca-Cola, and lives with her husband, three children, and two rambunctious dogs in Opelika, Alabama.

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