Learning to Listen before You Speak - Your Nightly Prayer - October 16
Learning to Listen Before You Speak
TONIGHT’S SCRIPTURE
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, - James 1:19
SOMETHING TO PONDER
We live in a world that values noise more than silence. People don't seem very interested in what others have to say, but everyone has something they want to say. From social media to conversations at work to family discussions – regardless of the topic, so many seem to simply be waiting for the other person to finish speaking and let their voices be heard. Our society – our culture – seems more inclined towards quick responses over thoughtful consideration and reflection. Very few have the patience to truly listen.
In that context, James’s teaching seems to be countercultural, quite likely even in his day, teaching that as believers, we ought to be contrary to society norms. We ought to learn to be quick to listen and slow to speak. James actually accentuates his rather simple statement by preceding his words, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this…” Take note of what I’m about to say. Those words place a focus on what follows - words so many of us seem to let flow in one way and right on through. We read it, but there is so much else that James talks about that our attention is often elsewhere.
And if you find yourself nodding in agreement with this tendency, please raise your hand along with mine.
James understood and is teaching something spiritual about the discipline of listening as a foundation for wise speech and godly relationships. Attentiveness to what others have to say. Restraint and patience in our own words. Slow to become angry, even if you might have at some other time. These disciplines are certainly all about humility – surrendering control of the conversation and not assuming we know more than the one we are speaking with. We choose to value another person’s perspective.
True discipleship does not begin with our knowledge of something or with our eloquent words. It begins with a heart that is quiet and attentive to others out of Christ’s love for them. Discipleship begins with an attentive heart that listens – that hears before it speaks. This reflects the character – and behavior – of Christ. Jesus heard the cries of the broken. He listened to the doubters' questions. He paid attention to the silence of the hurting.
But how can we be “quick” to listen? Well, perhaps it simply means that we are anxious to hear what they have to say. We can slow down to listen carefully. To try to truly understand the words the person is speaking. So often, our minds are forming our response before the other person has even finished speaking. Our rush to reply simply exposes pride. Humility, on the other hand, waits and listens carefully, with an open heart. Truly wanting to understand – and taking a moment before speaking.
Listening well is an act of intentional respect. When we are “quick” to listen, we demonstrate that they matter to us. That's what they say matters to us. That their words have value – meaning they have value to us. Too often, people feel alone in this world, as if no one is listening.
Almost 1000 years before Jesus was born, a very wise man wrote this, “Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.” (Proverbs 10:19) Truth indeed.
Our words carry weight. They can bless or curse. Build up or tear down. Heal or hurt. Our speech can bring tears of joy or of sorrow. Do you remember things others have said to you or about you that hurt deeply? Those stick with us far more readily than the uplifting words others have spoken to us. And our words to others can have a significant impact.
Being slow to speak implies that we ought to be careful in our words to others, letting the Holy Spirit lead us and hold us back from saying something we might regret later. Perhaps this is why David prayed that the Lord would put a guard over his mouth. James also cautioned us against stirring up anger, as did Solomon so many years earlier: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)
For believers, listening well is not simply a communication skill – it is Christ in action. Loving others in practice is very often a matter of patience, restraint, and humility. But in the end, the peace we find will warm our hearts – and theirs.
YOUR NIGHTLY PRAYER
Father in heaven, please let your spirit help me in practicing truly listening to others. In truly hearing their words and taking them to heart. Their words are important to them and should be important to me. But I need your help. I can’t do this on my own. Thank you, Father. Amen.
THREE THINGS TO MEDITATE UPON
Before you pray every morning, take five minutes of absolute quiet time. Ask him to quiet your racing thoughts. And ask him to help you open your heart to hear him.
Quiet time. Take time to simply sit in silence, listening for God to speak to your heart.
Be conscious this week to practice silence. As you go through each day, make sure you listen fully before you respond. Then, take a moment before speaking.
Go Deeper: Simple Ways to Love Others Well
Most of us want to love people well—especially when they’re hurting—but if we’re honest, we don’t always know how. We worry about saying the wrong thing, doing too little, or showing up too late. And sometimes, because of that uncertainty, we end up doing nothing. That’s why I’m so grateful for this week’s episode of The Love Offering Podcast. I’m joined by Christy Gandy, owner of Lovewell Collective, whose own experience with grief shaped a beautiful mission: helping people show up for others with practical love, kindness, and care—especially in life’s hardest seasons.
In our conversation, Christy gently reminds us that loving well isn’t about fixing someone’s pain. It’s about helping them feel seen, remembered, and cared for. Sometimes love looks like presence. Sometimes it looks like a note, a prayer, or a small gift left on a porch. And often, it’s the simplest gestures that leave the deepest mark. If you like what you hear, be sure to follow The Love Offering on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Reflect on tonight’s prayer and share how God met you there. Join the Your Nightly Prayer discussion on the Crosswalk Forum.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Prostock-Studio
Greg doesn’t pretend to be a pastor, a theologian, or a Bible expert, but offers the perspective of an everyday guy on the same journey as everyone else – in pursuit of truth.
Greg can be reached by email or on Facebook @ Greg Grandchamp - Author.
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