Strong Boundaries, Gentle Love - Your Nightly Prayer - September 18

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Strong Boundaries, Gentle Love

TONIGHT’S SCRIPTURE

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

SOMETHING TO PONDER

My wife uses a phrase when describing people with whom she has difficulty: “Sand-paper people,” she calls them. She uses this term to describe how some people seem to rub against our lives a bit too harshly. This is bound to happen. After all, we are all different, all unique. The question to ponder, however, is not how to rid ourselves of these people, but how we might respond in such situations.

Arguments or disagreements can easily color how we view the person with whom we are in conflict. We may view it differently, allowing our minds to retrace all the reasons why we are the victor in our disagreement. We are right; they are wrong; we are knowledgeable; they are not; we should be celebrated; they should be put in their place. Such rationalizations are easy to make.

But is this the way of Jesus? Should we give our hearts over to such negative ruminations? Paul reminds us that the Lord binds us together in Christian community. We are part of the one body of faith. So, when Paul exhorts us to think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, or admirable, he isn’t speaking of private reflections of philosophical concepts. Paul is speaking about how we live together. Paul is talking about relationships. United in Jesus, we are to allow the peace of Christ to rule in our hearts.

Of course, Paul doesn’t ask us to be naïve. The grace of Jesus is never at the expense of our health and well-being. We never have to accept negative or harmful behavior under the guise of “meekness” or “Christian love.” The bible advocates for strong, healthy, godly boundaries. But whatever boundaries we set up for the sandpaper people in our lives doesn’t remove us from the call to live in the spirit of grace.

When faced with sandpaper people, what might happen if we decide to spend our energy on reflecting that which is true, or noble, or right, or lovely about that person? Would such meditations fundamentally change how we approach our relationships? Would we begin to see the person differently? Instead of focusing on the instances of our combative relationship, what if we looked to the places where Jesus unites us, where we stand together under the cross of Christ?

This is what Paul calls us to. It is this daring commitment to Christ’s gentle love that combats the strongest hostility and grants us an inward peace that this world cannot give.

YOUR NIGHTLY PRAYER

Gracious Lord, I live in a world of a myriad of voices and opinions. There are voices that tell me to focus only on myself; voices that tell me to follow another, voices that tell me to step away from you. But I turn away from those voices so that I might listen only to you. In Jesus, you come as the embodiment of all that is true, all that is honorable, everything right and pure, lovely and admirable. I turn to you, and I open my heart to your guidance. Help me not just to hear your voice, but to live in our tapestry of my relationships.

May I always express your light and your peace. This I pray in Jesus Christ my Lord.

THREE THINGS TO MEDITATE UPON

In Philippians 4:6, Paul writes that we should “not worry about anything.” Worry is often expressed as constant inner reflection on what is anxious or negative. How does vs 8 speak directly to a life free from worry?
When you are alone and silent, where do your thoughts go? How can you increase your inner reflections on that which is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable?
The biblical world understood the Heart to be the center of all thought. When Paul writes to ‘think about these things’, he is expressing an action of the heart, not the mind. How does verse 8 change when we understand it as speaking to the disposition of our hearts?

Reflect on tonight’s prayer and share how God met you there. Join the Your Nightly Prayer discussion on the Crosswalk Forum.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/jeffbergen

The Reverend Dr. Kyle Norman is the Rector of St. Paul’s Cathedral, located in Kamloops BC, Canada. He holds a doctorate in Spiritual formation and is a sought-after writer, speaker, and retreat leader. His writing can be found at Christianity.com, crosswalk.com, ibelieve.com, Renovare Canada, and many others. He also maintains his own blog revkylenorman.ca. He has 20 years of pastoral experience, and his ministry focuses on helping people overcome times of spiritual discouragement.

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