An Important Lesson on Distraction from Mary and Martha

Adventures in Missing the Point

I’ve often heard with this passage that if you’re given a choice between work or worship, you should pick worship. Or to defend the contemplative life of Mary over the active and serving life of Martha. But I think that is missing the point. Imagine you are a religious leader, traveling along the road, getting ready to lead a Bible study. And you see a person on the side of the road hurting and wounded. You don’t pick the Bible study, do you? You don’t pass up the guy in the ditch. Only a few verses prior, the one who pulled the guy out of the ditch was the hero. Isn’t Martha doing the same here by serving Jesus’ physical needs?

So, I don’t think this text is intending to ask those questions. Work or worship? That’s not the question here. This isn’t what Jesus is aiming to teach. He isn’t telling Martha to put down her ladle and sit down beside Mary. This isn’t about WHAT they are doing. This is about the WAY in which they are doing it. I mention that because I think it’s very possible to have a Martha heart while doing a Mary activity. Or to do a Martha activity while having a Mary heart. We can be very prone to think that the THING we are doing is what matters more than the heart behind what we are doing.

What is Jesus teaching?

An Illustration

Let’s try to place ourselves in the story. Jesus comes over for dinner, and you want to show that you love him and value him. And so, Martha does what she knows to do. She’s super great at making lemon bars, so she decides to bring out the good dishes, clean her house, and give him her special dish.

So far, so good. This is worship. At this point, Martha is like the woman who breaks open expensive perfume and anoints Jesus’ feet with it. This is that type of worship.

But what happens when Martha realizes that she is out of lemons. And there is no way that she is going to be able to get more lemons. You can’t make lemon bars without lemons. And now Jesus cannot have her best. It’s Jesus. He deserves the best. Her lemon bars are the best. If she doesn’t produce lemon bars, then she is a failure. Martha is now in a panic.

Her panic turns to rage as she glances over and sees her sister, Mary, with not a single care in the world, just sitting and listening to Jesus talking. So, she does what any sister would do—she tries to draw Mary into her crisis. Now, what has happened here? What’s the little shift that has taken place?

Martha has gotten distracted, hasn’t she? If providence leads to you not having lemons in your house when Jesus comes over—you can’t make him lemon bars. If you aren’t content giving him the very best of what you have in that moment—then it’s no longer about the one getting the gift. It’s become about the one who is giving the gift. It’s not about what Jesus wants or desires (he never made a lemon bar request), but it’s about what you’ve decided to give him.

What it Means to Be Distracted

This is what it means in verse 40 when it says “But Martha was distracted…” The word isn’t a common one, but it literally means to be “pulled away.” The picture here is that Mary is tethered to Jesus. She is tied to him. She’s hearing him. What does that mean? It means that rather than deciding Jesus would really like some lemon bars—she hears what he is actually wanting in that moment, and she responds to him. She sits at his feet and gives him her listening ear and her heart.

But Martha… Martha isn’t tethered to Jesus in the same way. She still loves Jesus. She still wants to serve Jesus… but she gets pulled away from Jesus. And she gets lost in the WHAT of serving instead of the WHO. She is distracted by something that is the very heart of being a follower of Jesus, because she has made her ministry about the thing itself instead of Jesus. Ministry can become an idol by which we lose Jesus.

This text shows that Martha turns her eyes away from Jesus and now onto Mary. One of the first things that happens when we turn our eyes away from Jesus is we resort to biting and devouring one another. We worry about what “they” are doing. We assume that their discipleship is deficient somehow.

And then she attempts to draw Jesus into her rebuke as well. Her distraction has led to anger and then an assumption that the Lord doesn’t care. Verse 40 is almost comical. She acknowledges him as Lord. She is still kind of submitting to him. But notice how she is doing it. The verse ends with Martha directing Jesus. “Tell her then to help me.”

How Jesus Responds

Jesus responds to both Martha and Mary with tender care. For Martha, he doesn’t play her game. It’s as if his “Martha, Martha” slows her heart.

You are anxious… swirling about, waves of emotions, palms sweaty, blood pressure rising, frantic, freaking out, triggered, making everyone around you uncomfortable as well. You’re anxious, Martha. Pause, Martha. Look at what is going on in your heart, Martha. Is that what I bring? Is that the type of ministry I’m asking for?

“Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest...” That’s who I am, Martha. If your ministry is leading to this type of anxiety… something is off. It’s not about Jesus anymore. Pain, suffering, heartbreak, exhaustion… yeah, those are part of ministry. Anxiety shouldn’t be.

Look at your heart, Martha. You’re troubled. You have so much inner turmoil, Martha.

One thing, Martha. Only one thing is necessary.

And it’s not lemon bars, Martha. It’s me. It’s union with me. Look at Mary. She has chosen the good portion, Martha. She has gotten the one thing. And I’m not going to take that away from her in order to help you make these lemon bars.

One thing is necessary...

If you lose that, then you’ve lost the whole reason you were doing ministry in the first place.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes