3 Characters Who Prove Your Hard Times Do Not Mean God Loves You Less

I have fallen into this trap many times. I have looked at my traumatic childhood as proof that God simply loves me less than he loves my friends who had it easier. I thought “If God loved me more, he wouldn’t have let this happen to me. He must love x, y, and z person more because they haven’t had to go through what I’ve been through.”

This belief might not be on the surface for you, but more so something tucked in your subconscious, stuffed deep in your heart. But it comes up when something good happens for someone you’re close to–you wish it didn’t, but your ugly jealousy perks up, and Satan whispers “Their life is perfect, and yours has been awful. What’s wrong with you? God is clearly giving his favor to other people, but not you. He just must not love you as much.”

Ouch.

We need not be ashamed of this reaction, but instead turn to scripture to gain hope and perspective.

Our interpretation of our life events can hold so much power. Thankfully, there are people in the Bible who faced trial after trial, just as we do, and we get the advantage of seeing how God worked in their lives through it anyway. Let’s examine their lives to assure us of this truth: God loves us all equally–and because he loves us, will work in our trials for our good.

1. Joseph’s Hard Life Saves Him and His Family

Joseph can relate to family rejection, work troubles, and all-around bad luck all too well. To list just a few of the hard things God allowed to happen to Joseph:

• His brothers plotted to leave him for dead but decided to sell him into slavery instead
• He was falsely accused of assaulting his employer’s wife and thrown in jail 
• He was promised by someone to help him out of jail but was forgotten
• He lived through a famine
• He had to face his family again, after years away from them, probably missing them terribly

Sometimes we feel like we can’t catch a break, and I’m sure Joseph felt that a time or two. He faced so much injustice. The absolute rejection and sadness he must have felt from his brothers is unimaginable, and he missed so much time with his beloved father. 

Joseph definitely could have had a “logical” reason to have felt less loved by God. I can imagine him thinking “Well, God must love the cupbearer more than me, because he at least got to leave jail!”

But Joseph stayed faithful to God’s promises. It’s so impressive to me that he held so tightly to his Hebrew identity, even though he lived in prominent positions in Egypt for so much of his life. Clearly, he held fast to God. And God blessed him abundantly.

Because of Joseph’s God-given ability for dream interpretation, Joseph was able to see the famine coming and save the lives of thousands–including his family. Eventually, he reconciles with his family and gets to see his dad before he dies:

“So they went up out of Egypt and came to their father Jacob in the land of Canaan. They told him, ‘Joseph is still alive! In fact, he is ruler of all Egypt.’ Jacob was stunned; he did not believe them. But when they told him everything Joseph had said to them, and when he saw the carts Joseph had sent to carry him back, the spirit of their father Jacob revived. And Israel said, ‘I’m convinced! My son Joseph is still alive. I will go and see him before I die’” (Genesis 45:25-28).

Joseph may have endured injustice after injustice, but God used it all to bless his people. Joseph’s trials weren’t because God loved him less, but because he trusted Joseph to be a mighty instrument of his love.

2. Ruth’s Hardship but Israel’s Hope

Ruth had a lot of reasons to complain about her life. She married the son of an Israelite while living in Moab, but he died, along with his brother and father. Since Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi lost her husband and sons, she decided to go back to Judah. So Ruth not only lost her husband and other family members but was faced with either losing her mother-in-law too or leaving the land she had grown up in.

She decides to go with Naomi, but that isn’t easy either. As two unmarried women looking after each other, she is completely dependent on the kindness of an unfamiliar man named Boaz.

She was a stranger in a strange land and did not have the social security blanket of a father or husband to take care of her. Her husband had died and it was up to her to get remarried so she and Naomi could be taken care of. Talk about a lot of grief, stress, and pressure.

But, God is so faithful to Ruth because she is devoted to him. He continues her story past its trials and it concludes like this “So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife. When he made love to her, the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son. The women said to Naomi: ‘Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a guardian-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth,’” (Ruth 4:13-15).

Ruth gets a fairy-tale ending with Boaz, becoming godly-marriage-goals, and a symbol of hope for the rest of Israel in a time when people were having a very hard time staying faithful to God.

Ruth’s story reassures us that even when those closest to us pass away, God does not forget us, and God does not leave our story there either.

3. Jesus’ Suffering Was All for Our Gain

Whenever I need a reminder that a hard life does not equal less love from God, I am immediately sobered when I think of Jesus.

Jesus is fully, completely, utterly loved by God. We can feel more sure of that than probably anyone else in existence. And yet, he suffered a death more painful and wretched than we could ever fathom.

He was rejected by his closest friends. He suffered unimaginable physical pain at the hands of those who hated and misunderstood him. And more than that, because of our sin that was placed on his innocent shoulders, God had to leave him–the first time Jesus would ever be without God in his entire existence:

Matthew 27:46 tells us “About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, ‘Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?’ (which means ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’).”

I don’t know for sure, but my guess is that God leaving Jesus was the most painful thing he went through. Probably the most painful thing ANYONE ever went through.

And yet, he is our Savior. God himself proclaimed from Heaven “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well-pleased” (Matt 3:17).

Jesus had it hard. And yet, it was all for our benefit, as Hebrews 4:15 tells us: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.”

And Isaiah 53:5 poetically proclaims:

“But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.”

If anyone could have been tempted to believe that God loved him less because of how hard his life was, even though he didn’t deserve it, it was definitely Jesus. But his suffering is a well-spring of life for us.

So, next time Satan tempts you with this thought, remember that God may have many reasons to allow hardship in your life, but none of them include because you are less worthy of his love. He promises to always “work in all things for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

How hopeful is that?

Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Aaron Owens 

The views expressed in this commentary do not necessarily reflect those of CrosswalkHeadlines.

Kelly-Jayne McGlynn is a former editor at Crosswalk.com. She sees the act of expression, whether through writing or art, as a way to co-create with God and experience him deeper. Check out her handmade earrings on Instagram and her website for more of her thoughts on connecting with God through creative endeavors.