Living Alone: A Guide to Overcoming Anxiety, Fear, and Loneliness
At one time or another, most of us have to live on our own. Some of us are extremely excited to live on our own, while others are terrified. Depending on our unique life circumstances, sometimes living on our own can be stressful and scary. While we might try to look calm, cool, and collected on the outside, on the inside, we actually are having a considerable amount of worry. Whenever we feel this way, we need to remember that we are not alone.
I was extremely scared when I lived alone for the first time. I was a single woman in a relatively unsafe city. While I was smart about where I chose to live, I kept the lack of safety in the back of my mind.
While men are not immune to acts of violence or crime, women are more prone to be targeted. This is due to the fall of humanity. A person should be confident when they are moving out for the first time, but never overconfident or blinded to the reality around them.
Especially for single women, it is crucial to keep your eye out. While I wish it wasn't this way, we have to acknowledge the world we live in and the people who live in it (Romans 3:10-12). However, living on our own can be truly wonderful. We just need to ensure we are being smart, wise, and keeping ourselves safe.
Releasing Anxiety to the Lord
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)
One of the biggest things we face when we leave home for the first time is anxiety. Anxiety can be difficult to manage—it has the ability to sidetrack us from everything else in our lives. As someone who struggles with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), I am aware of how much anxiety affects my daily life. When I moved out for the first time, my anxiety was at an all-time high. I kept worrying, "What if I don't make enough to pay my rent?" and "What if I can't live on my own successfully and have to return home?"
All of these anxieties are valid. Think about your own anxieties regarding living on your own and release them to Jesus. Don't allow them to take up so much room in your heart or mind anymore. Cast them all upon the Lord and allow Him to carry this burden for you (Matthew 11:28-30).
We will all face anxieties while we are living on our own. We have to actively choose to give them over to Jesus each day. Praying over our anxieties and giving them over to Jesus will help us stay strong when times are hard (Philippians 4:6-7). We can also study the Bible and apply its teachings to our lives to help lessen the anxiety in our hearts. Choose to keep your eyes on Jesus, and the anxiety within you will lessen (Hebrews 12:2).
Challenge Questions:
-What anxieties do you have regarding living on your own for the first time? Which ones are significantly impacting your daily life?
-How might you cast your anxieties onto the Lord? How can you continue to do this each day?
-Have you talked with anyone else who has recently moved out for the first time? What wise words did they share with you?
"Dear Jesus, I am extremely anxious about moving out for the first time. I am worried about something bad happening and that I will be hurt in some way. I am also anxious that I won't be able to afford living on my own. Returning home would make me feel like a failure. Please surround me with your love and help me to be calm. Allow your peace to give me the comfort that I need. I give You all the praise, Lord, Amen."
Choosing to "Fear Not"
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"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)
Fear was overpowering to me when I first moved out. I was terrified that someone was going to harm me or that I would be a victim of a crime. We frequently see terrible news about women being harmed. Allow yourself to validate your fear. It is important to be aware of our fear instead of pretending it doesn't exist.
Accept your fear and also talk to others about what is going on in your mind. Don't allow the fear to fester. Talk about them with the Lord and loved ones in your life. It is equally important to contact the police whenever we feel nervous about our safety or see anything suspicious. I have had my fair share of having to contact my local police because of problems I face in my town. Always ask your local police officer to provide a report number for your case after you have informed them of a concern. It is always important to advocate for yourself.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Sadly, even if we try our best to be safe, sometimes evil still finds us.
As Isaiah 41:10 tells us, God is always with us—He will protect us. We don't need to fear because He is forever surrounding us with His love, grace, and protection. Rely on Him and rest in the assurance that He will forever surround you with the protection of His love. Allow this to give you the courage to face the day and the peace to fall asleep at night.
Challenge Questions:
-What fears do you have surrounding living on your own?
-The fears that you have are all valid. How can you trust God to help you battle these fears?
-God is our mighty source of support and strength. How does it feel to know that He is always with and protecting you?
"Dear God, there are so many reasons to be afraid when it comes to living on your own as a single Christian. I am especially afraid for my own safety. Please God, keep me safe. I trust that You can protect me. Make sure the evil people do not succeed in their wicked ways. I give You all the praise and glory, God Amen."
Resting in the Peace that You Are Never Alone
"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:20b)
Loneliness is another thing we need to be aware of when living on our own. The deafening silence of an empty house or apartment is enough to bring deep depression into our hearts. A constantly empty living space reminds us that we are physically alone. We don't have a roommate, such as a best friend or a sibling. This can make us feel extremely alone and even unwanted.
Whenever we are reminded of our physical isolation, we need to reflect on Matthew 28:20 and rest in the assurance that we are never truly alone; Jesus is with us always. For all time, the Lord will be with us. Whether we are walking through the darkest valley or the highest peak of a mountain, Jesus is with us (Psalm 23:1-6). Regardless of our physical state, Jesus is by our side, and we can lean into His presence by relying on the truth of what we know rather than how we feel.
It is essential to spend time with other people when you live alone because it is not good to be by yourself all the time. Try to spend time with your family and friends each week. Invite them over, have a dinner party, or go to their place. It can make things feel a lot less lonely.
This season of living on your own may be temporary or it may last a long time. Just remember that Jesus is with you. When the house cracks at night or you sit at a table alone, know that you are never truly by yourself. The Lord is always with you, surrounding you with His grace, love, kindness, and protection. Praise be to His wonderful Name forever.
Challenge Questions:
-Do you think you will feel lonely once you start living on your own? Why or why not?
-What are some ways you can remind yourself that Jesus is always with you? Perhaps a few Bible passages you could place around your home?
-Living alone can be very lonely. What are some steps you can take to prevent loneliness?
"Dear Jesus, living on my own is lonely. I miss being around others. All I hear now is the deafening noise of a silent home. Please help me to know that You are always with me and that even when I think I'm alone, I'm not. I give You all the praise and glory, Lord. Stay with me forever. In Your Name, I pray, Amen."
Originally published September 17, 2025.
