How to Stay Young

Scripture does not tell us to ignore our outward appearance. Peter says we should not be obsessed with expensive clothes, elaborate hairstyles, or lavish jewelry. Instead, I dress like I want to be known – as a daughter of the King. However, Peter admonishes us to consider our outward appearance subordinate to our heart attitude.

1 Peter 3:3-4 (AMP) Your adornment must not be merely external—with interweaving and elaborate knotting of the hair and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in expensive clothes; but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God.

We can present a stellar outward appearance, but we will displease the Father if our hearts are not beautiful. My mother used to say, "What's down in the well comes up in the bucket." There it is! Boom!

2. Avoid the grumblers in your life. 

They become a weight around your heart and mindset. Negativity is contagious. I know this can be difficult – especially when that grouch is a family member.

Negative people gravitate to other negative people. I have learned to rebuff the negative comments of the grouches in my life. When a grouch comes to me, complaining about a particular person, I have learned to respond, "Yes, but she is ______________." Instead, fill in the blank with a constructive comment about that person. If you habitually react in a positive way, the whiners will begin to avoid you.

Find a group of supportive people. People who encourage you, people who motivate you, people who love you just as you are. Replenishing relationships will help you stay young.

3. Keep an open mind. 

Choose to establish habits in your life that will continually lead you to learn something new. Take a computer class. Want to learn how to cook? Partner with a friend to exchange recipes and create new ones. Maybe you have always wanted to learn how to garden. The only person stopping you is you!

You have heard the old saying that an idle mind is the devil's workshop. So true! I have discovered that when my mind is not focused on truth, it will inevitably flow to the weakest area of my life. The enemy creates a foothold to launch a battle to control our minds. Bottom line – do not let your mind remain in idle mode. An active mind that is always searching for something new to explore will help you stay young.

4. Learn to enjoy the simple things in life. 

Our children have been my most outstanding teachers on simple is beautiful. When our daughter Danna was about eight years old, we pulled out onto a bustling and dangerous street out of the church parking lot. I was intensely looking for an opening. Then I saw it. An opening. I was ready to hit the gas when I heard Danna shout, "Stop, Mama!" I slammed on the breaks and turned to look at my daughter, wondering what in the world was wrong.

Danna was grinning from ear to ear. What? Danna met my questioning gaze with a look of wonder. "Look at that butterfly, Mom. Isn't it beautiful?" My racing heart and sheer panic blinded me to any beauty – until I saw what Danna had seen. The butterfly was enormous and gorgeous. I would have missed that glimpse of simple beauty if Danna hadn't made me stop and see that butterfly through her young eyes – a work of beauty created by the Master Designer.

Through the years, I have learned to focus daily on the simple things in life—a Kansas sunrise like no other. Our grandchildren running and playing, abandoning themselves to a world created in their young minds. Snow cones. Caramel salted chocolate. Watching the red birds congregating in one of the trees in our front yard.

Make simple things a vital part of your life. There is so much pain and hurt in our world. If we major in that pain, it will become a mental habit to gravitate toward all of the wrong things in life instead of focusing on all the right things. Approach life with two words in your heart, "But God…!" Those two words change everything and can be a mental, emotional, and spiritual reset button when we apply them to every circumstance that comes our way.

5. Laugh – a lot! 

Laugh until tears roll down your cheeks. I love the saying, "If we laugh more days, we will have more days to laugh." Laugh so much that people will be able to find you in a store because they recognize your laughter.

We were created for joy and laughter. The disciple John says it this way in John 15:11 (NCV). I have told you these things so that you can have the same joy I have and so that your joy will be the fullest possible joy.

Being around joyful people will make you more joyful. Our daughter has become my closest female friend, and she always makes me laugh. Danna calls me at least once a day to check on me. If she senses that I am struggling, she calls more often and always has a funny story about her two boys. I gravitate to her because her joy spills over into my life.

6. Make your home a haven – a safe place. 

What you love should fill your home. It may be family, pets, plants, crafts, etc. Your home can become your refuge. When you walk through the front door, you should be able to breathe in comfort and exhale the madness and chaos of your day.

Enjoy your home. Read more and dustless. When we first got married, I was fanatical in my quest to have a spotless home. But, over the years, I have let that go, and let me tell you, and it is absolutely freeing. Home is where the characteristics of God's very nature should be on display. The pursuit of God and all He has for you will help you stay young.

7. Always tell the people you love how much you love them. 

Don't assume that they know. I have gotten into the habit of ending every phone conversation with someone I love by telling them just that. I love you.

When kids and grandkids come for a visit, I always tell them how much I love them – which is a lot! When I go to lunch with a friend, my last words to her are, "I love you!" Surrounding yourself with people you love will help keep you young.

8. Don't worry – be happy. 

Things over which you have control will invade your life. If you cannot do anything about them, let them go and move forward. Don't allow yourself to be consumed with worry. Worry makes everything seem bigger than it is. However, one of the most important truths I have learned while battling depression is that my inner attitudes do not have to reflect my outer circumstances.

Our inner attitudes do not have to reflect our outward circumstances. In other words, we can't always find joy in circumstances, but we can always find joy in the Lord of the circumstances.

Psalm 94:19 "When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."

9. Spend more time with your family and friends and less time working. 

My husband is a pastor. Part of his ministry is spending time with people who are dying. Dan says he has never heard anyone say that they wish they had spent more time working in those last-minute conversations. Instead, he always hears them say they wish they had spent more time with the people they love.

Life here on earth is so short. We need to invest our time in things that matter. It will help us stay young.

10. Do not "save" anything. 

I have my mother's china that I have saved for years to use only on special occasions. No more. I use her china for everyday meals and celebrations – like losing 5 pounds or finally cleaning out the junk drawer. Make each day a pattern of celebrations. Savor each moment.

And those clothes you only wear on special occasions. So next time you go to the grocery store, put on one of those outfits and strut your stuff! And that perfume you only wear on holidays special parties – spray some on when you go to the bank or head to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions. In other words, don't save anything! Use it! Wear it! Enjoy it! Doing so will help you stay young.

Final thought: I recently read these words that really struck a chord in my heart: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Mary Southerland is also the Co-founder of Girlfriends in God, a conference and devotion ministry for women. Mary’s books include, Hope in the Midst of Depression, Sandpaper People, Escaping the Stress Trap, Experiencing God’s Power in Your Ministry, 10-Day Trust Adventure, You Make Me So Angry, How to Study the Bible, Fit for Life, Joy for the Journey, and Life Is So Daily. Mary relishes her ministry as a wife, a mother to their two children, Jered and Danna, and Mimi to her six grandchildren – Jaydan, Lelia, Justus, Hudson, Mo, and Nori.