Is it Ever "Too Late" to Find Your Person?
Do you remember how it felt as a child to arrive at the bus stop to go to school, only to find that the bus was already driving off without you? Somehow, despite your best attempts to arrive on time and to manage all in your power get to the bust stop it somehow left you behind? A similar feeling arises when you do not get married by the age you thought you would, or past the age of all of your friends. This feeling can manifest itself in a variety of thoughts. The most prevalent? That you’re too late to find your person. Is that actually the case, or a lie we have bought into from the Devil himself?
Your Own Timeline
The truth of the matter is that you are not too late to find your person, even if it feels like that in the sinking loneliness of singleness. The truth is that you are on a timeline that is specific to you and you alone. Consider those in the Bible who found themselves in very particular situations where timing held a bigger key in their story than they realized. For example, Esther was a single woman who was chosen by the King himself to become his bride. She did not know that her life held a greater significance than just being a wife, but that she was perhaps born “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14) to play a pivotal role in saving the people of Israel. Just as her life held the necessity for a unique timeline, your life does as well. That is not to say there are not actions we can take in free will to delay what God has for us, but it is to say that we ought to use God’s clock. His clock is unlike that of the world’s, for it is not held to the boundaries or limitations of the world.
Free Will
It has been said before that God’s will for your life is much like a GPS. When we choose to listen to the GPS and navigate as it leads, we arrive at our destination at a certain time. This does not imply the terrain will be smooth, the traffic non-existent, or the journey swift, but sure enough you will arrive. When we take matters into our own hands and think we know better, or when an alternative route appears easier or more beneficial, we enter into operating outside of God’s will. You may end up somewhere fast, but it will soon reveal itself to not be the right place at all. Because of the detour a longer, more difficult, and consequential path must be taken at the direction of the GPS. In the same train of thought as the GPS, we too have the choice to follow His ways, or not to consider His insights for our future. This is why it is exceedingly imperative to ask God to direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6) inside of leaning on our own understanding. If you have found yourself lost because you did not listen to the GPS, do not lose heart. Seek Him and ask the Lord how to get back on track.
Life Is More than Marriage
Remember that your life is more than becoming a husband or a wife. Your life is irreplaceable in the greater story that God has woven. This is not to discount marriage or make it unimportant, but it is not the end-all be-all. The person you marry should not be the greatest love of your life; the Lord should hold that role. When we make an idol of marriage or a spouse, we give that position or person the role of lordship in our lives. Because marriage is something between two fallen, sinful humans it inevitably will let you down. Matthew 22:37-38 reminds us of the words of Jesus sharing, “And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.”
When we love God first, most, and best, we can then love others better. Our mission in life is not just to get married; it is to glorify the Lord, love Him, and honor Him in the life He authored us to live. For some this calling does not include a spouse, and for others it requires a spouse to complete the Kingdom Work. Whatever His plan is for the person, when they obey and follow Him the result is that His Will is brought forward on Earth as it is in Heaven through your life. Your life is so much more than just marriage.
He Can Redeem the Lost Years
Know that if He has revealed that marriage is for you, it will come. Even if you have waited decades, seen all your friends marry and raise children, and even if you are weary do not lose heart. Recently, I met a lovely woman who had narrowly escaped a very abusive, violent marriage at a young age to find herself single for over twenty years. She sought the Lord with her whole life, and she knew somehow within that God had a mate for her still. Indeed, He did, and she and the man she waited on God for married after just six weeks of dating. A verse I felt in my spirit to share with her was that of Joel 2:25, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” This verse says that the Lord can restore all that was lost, even the years you felt could not find redemption. If you have found yourself in a place of fear because you did not follow the Lord before, but now you have, hold hope. Romans 8:28 reminds us: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
This verse does not say some, a few, or select; it offers that all things can work together for good. Let Him work together all things, redeem all things, and lead all things in your life as you follow and obey Him in this second chance.
It Is Not Too Late
If you still have breath in your lungs, God can usher forth all He has for your life if you trust Him. Continue to see the Lord in all things, not just select things, for what He would have you to do each and every day. Know that if He does have a spouse for you, it will come in His timing, in His way, and with a peace only He can offer. Believe that good things await you, and take the time now to intercede and pray for yourself and this person. Ask the Lord to help prepare you to be a good husband or wife and help the other person similarly. Know that these prayers are beautiful to the Lord, and when at last you are brought together, it will be one where you both glorify the Lord and praise Him for a union only He could make.
Originally published July 18, 2025.
