5 Christ-Like Ways to Care for Loved Ones Without Burning Out

“Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28). 

Jesus tells us that He came to this earth to serve others, not to serve Himself. In the same way, we need to serve others. If we are going to extend Christ-like actions to our loved ones, we are going to have to serve them as Jesus did. Jesus never saw a task as being too inferior to Him, but rather, He healed the sick, the blind, and the crippled (Matthew 4:23-25; Luke 4:38-41). Because of His love, He was always going out of His way to serve us. 

Your loved one might be living with a chronic debilitating illness where they cannot get around anymore. Whenever you start to grow frustrated, remember what the Lord says in Matthew 20:28. Also, try to put yourself in your loved one’s shoes and see things from their perspective. It is really hard to live with a chronic debilitating illness and that might make a person hard to be around sometimes. 

Try to reflect upon all these things and carry your cross (Matthew 16:24-26). Jesus will give you the strength that you need to support and care for your loved ones. He knows some days will be harder than others, yet He will forever give you the strength you need to continue. Jesus is faithful and He will help you as you continue to help your loved one. It pleases Him to see us following in His footsteps and obeying His teachings. 

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“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). 

As the Apostle James tells us, we need to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Being quick to listen requires wisdom because it is all too common that we begin to speak before listening. Rather than saying the first thing that comes to mind or something that we believe might help, we need to listen and see what they truly need. This will help our loved ones to know that they can rely on us and be open with us about anything. 

Our loved ones need us to truly listen to them. They don’t need us to only half listen or to be doing something in addition to listening to them. We need to give them our full attention. Sit with them, put all distractions away, and truly listen to them. Don’t interrupt or add in any advice unless they ask for it. Sometimes all our loved ones need is for us to listen to them rather than to start a game plan of what they should do next. 

If your loved one wants advice, they will ask for it. However, it is more important to be a listening ear than it is to be a speaker of advice. It will also prevent burn out because you will be paying more attention to what they are saying rather than trying to come up with a plan to fix it. Release the temptation to fix the situation and allow yourself time to simply listen to your loved one. 

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“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12). 

The Lord speaks of the importance of treating others the way you want to be treated in this passage. Similar to how we would want somebody there for us, we need to be there for our loved ones. Even if nobody else is there for them, we need to be present. We need to show up, be there, and extend support for our loved ones even when it is hard. While we need to be careful not to burn out, we also don’t need to feel like we cannot do that much for our loved ones.

Find your balance and avoid all extremes. It can be easy to restrain from doing anything to protect our own mental well-being, but we need to ensure we are doing all we can to help others. Being there when a loved one is in the hospital can be a strain, yet it is important for us to be there. In the same way, it can be hard to see our grandparents in a memory care unit, but we need to be there for them. Just as Jesus is with us when nobody else is, we need to strive to be the physical hands and feet of Jesus to our loved ones in order for them to know that they are loved and that they matter. 

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“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15).

The Apostle Paul tells us that we need to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. This helps others know that they are not alone. Sitting with our loved ones will not burn us out because we are simply being there for them as Jesus does. We don’t have to do anything strenuous or hard. All we have to do is to sit with them in their pain. 

Whenever I am struggling with my chronic illness, I need someone to sit with me in the pain. Sometimes this is all that I need. I need to know that there is someone who is willing to simply exist with me in the pain and to help me overcome the worries that the pain will never end. With your own loved ones, it is important that you do this as it will help them feel more comfort, hope, and peace with their own daily struggles. You never know how much this can help someone and bring renewed strength into their life. 

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“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people” (Ephesians 6:18). 

As Paul says in this passage, we need to consistently be praying for all of the Lord’s people. This includes our loved ones and the struggles they are facing. We don’t need to discount the power of prayer because prayer can move mountains (Matthew 17:20). Doubting God’s ability will only hinder our own life. We need to trust in Him and pray on behalf of our loved ones, even if their health is deteriorating. God can do all things—we just need to wait on Him (Luke 1:37). 

When you pray for your loved ones, you will notice your own strength will increase as well as your love for them. This will help you to keep going without burning out. Pray for yourself also and ask the Lord to keep you strong. You want to be there for your loved one and help them in the best possible ways. Continue to lean on Jesus, follow Him, pray for your loved ones, and be the best source of support that you can be. 

Burn out will eventually come for all of us, but we have to remember that this is part of the process. Sometimes it will be impossible not to run ourselves ragged, especially when a loved one is close to passing away. Therefore, don’t get too hard on yourself if you do face burn out. It doesn’t mean you have failed, it just means you are human. Extend grace to yourself, take time to rest and recover, and ask the Lord to show you what to do next. 

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