The Church Is Family: Support Each Other by Reconciling

We fight for family because the church is a family.

The Bible is the history of God's people, God's family, if you will. And in Hebrew society, metaphors are a big deal, a big part of Hebrew culture. Metaphors are word pictures; sixty-seven metaphors are used in Scripture for the church.

The church is referred to as an army. The gates of hell will not stand against the church. Followers of Christ are described as sheep who know and follow the voice of their Shepherd. The church is the body of Christ. We all have different roles, a different purpose in life. The church is a family, with Christ as the head of the family.

"God is the one who made everything, and all things are for his glory. But he wanted to have many children to share his glory." Hebrews 2:10 (NCV)

The most prominent metaphor for God in the Bible is Father. He is a Father, and anyone with the heart of a father wants children. That is us! We are children of God, the Father.

"Then Jesus pointed to his disciples and said, "Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!" Matthew 12:49-50

When we choose to follow Jesus, we become part of his family and pursue his will together. As we follow God we grow close as a family.

"Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone – especially to those in the family of faith." Galatians 6:10

Scripture calls us the family of faith.

"God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure." Ephesians 1:5

God adopts us into his family and extends an invitation to us, "I want you in my family." When we accept that invitation, he adopts us into the family of God. God wanted a family – so he created us, and that family is called church.

We fight for family because the church is a family. We fight for family because the church is a big deal. We fight for family because the family of God is a big deal. Scripture makes it clear that the church is important.

"I will build my church, and all the powers of Hell will not defeat it." Matthew 16:18 (NLT)

The most successful human movement of all time is the church of God—2.3 billion followers of Christ, the world's biggest and most important organization. The church is the army of Jesus, the bride, and the family of God – all of which make the church a very big deal.

Church is not something you attend. Church is a family to which you belong. I saw a t-shirt the other day that said, "I am the church." That sounds so good, but it is totally wrong.

"You are a member of God's very own family, and you belong in God's household with every other Christian." Ephesians 2:19

You are not the church of God by yourself. You are not the family of God or the body of Christ by yourself. Together – we are the church.

"The members must have the same care for each other. If one member is hurt or suffers, all suffer together; and if one member is honored, all the others are to rejoice. You are the body of Christ and each one of you is a necessary part of it." 1 Corinthians 12:25-27 (ESV)

We find our primary identity in relationships. We all need to belong, so seeing the church as a family is a huge deal.

We fight for family because the church is our forever family.

Your physical family is how you were brought into this world, But it does not last. We grow older. People die. People divorce. It does not last forever. The reality is that our physical family is temporary, while our spiritual family is permanent.

"And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory." Romans 8:17

Our human family is how we came into this world. Our spiritual family is how we come into the next world and who we will be with forever in heaven.

"You are the church of God's children, whose names are registered in heaven." Hebrews 12:23

Why are our names registered in heaven? Because that is our home, our final destination, and the whole family of God will be there.

"Jesus and the people he makes holy all belong to the same family. This is why he isn't ashamed to call them his brothers and sisters." Hebrews 2:11 (CEV)

Our forever family is our church family. This is why we come together for worship on Sundays. This is why we gather in smaller discipleship settings throughout the week. We are family. Forever family.

Why do we fight for family?

We fight for family because the church is a family.

We fight for family because the church is a big deal.

We fight for family because the church is our forever family.

How do we fight for family?

Wage peace. We fight for family by waging peace.

We don't talk bad about each other – that is criticism – and it destroys the church's peace. We address problems face to face – that is, feedback – and build the church's peace.

"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won't accept the church's decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector." Matthew 18:15-18

Right audience: face to face

Right attitude: humility

Right goal: reconciliation           

When you hear criticism - shut it down because silence is agreement. Give them 24 hours, then take them by the hand and go to the person with them to make things right. We fight for family by waging peace.

Show up.

You cannot fight for family if you are not present. Check out what the Scripture says about this:

"Some people have given up the habit of meeting for worship, but we must not do that. We should keep on encouraging each other, especially since you know that the day of the Lord's coming is getting closer." Hebrews 10:25

Habit is the keyword. In the original language, "habit" literally means "something you do all the time" or "something you do habitually."

Love shows up. If you love your church family, you show up.

Have you heard this: "I love Jesus, but I don't need the church." Or this one: "I can worship on my own – I don't need the church." That is a big mistake. When you love someone, you love what they love. Jesus loves his church. He shows up every week. The followers of Jesus love his church. We show up every week.

You can absolutely go out in nature and worship God one on one. I hope you do. I hope you worship God one on one every day. But God says we need to get together with the family once a week.

Our adult kids have each lived with us for stretches of their adult years. We had two rules for them while they were in our house. We are going to church together. We are doing a family lunch together on Sunday. Why? Because the family is part of the church and because the church is part of God's family.

We fight for family by waging peace. We fight for family by showing up.

Do your part.

The church is called an army. Soldiers who do not fight in an army are a liability – not an asset. The church is called a body. A hand that will not work is a liability – not an asset. The church is called a family. A family member who will not contribute is a liability – not an asset.

"The Spirit has given each of us a special way of serving others." 1 Corinthians 12:7 (CEV)

God has given each of us a way to serve and expects us to serve. One exception: babies.

Ayla, our seventh grandchild, was one month premature. She weighed five pounds. Do we expect her to contribute to the family yet? No. We expect her to be cute and cuddly. But she is now she is almost three months old and growing fast. The minute she can walk, her Mama will teach her to pick up her toys, help around the house, be nice to her brothers – to contribute as much as she can.

A family works when everyone contributes. We fight for family by waging peace. We fight for family by showing up, and we fight for family by doing our part.

There is no doubt that we are in a spiritual battle. Covid took American churches down to 40% of what they used to be. Most churches are back to about 60% of their attendance pre-Covid, and some are closing their doors - but the battle still rages. Here is what Nehemiah said to his people when they were under attack.

"Don't be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes!" Nehemiah 4:14

We fight for family because God says we fight for family. Our physical family and our church family.

Mary Southerland is also the Co-founder of Girlfriends in God, a conference and devotion ministry for women. Mary’s books include, Hope in the Midst of Depression, Sandpaper People, Escaping the Stress Trap, Experiencing God’s Power in Your Ministry, 10-Day Trust Adventure, You Make Me So Angry, How to Study the Bible, Fit for Life, Joy for the Journey, and Life Is So Daily. Mary relishes her ministry as a wife, a mother to their two children, Jered and Danna, and Mimi to her six grandchildren – Jaydan, Lelia, Justus, Hudson, Mo, and Nori.