How to Unleash the Power of Peace in Your Life

Secret 1: Tap into God's power.

Philippians 4:1 "Keep your relationship with the Lord firm!"

Without God's power, we are defeated. It is in His power that we will find true peace. If we want to know God's power, we must first know God. "Firm" means "established or found." Therefore, if we want to find peace, we have to find God.

Hebrews 13:5 "God has said, 'I will never fail you. I will never forsake you.'" (NLT)

When Jered was a little boy, he walked with his dad one night. "How far are we from home?" Dan asked. Jered answered, "Dad, I don't know." Dan asked, "Well, where are you?" Again, Jered answered, "I don't know." Finally, Dan responded, "I think you are lost, Son." Jered looked at his father and said, "Nope, I can't be lost. I'm with you."

When we find God, we will have peace. "Firm" also means "stubborn." If we want peace, we have to seek God stubbornly. When we know God, a seed of peace is planted in our hearts. That seed will take root and grow stronger if we must nurture it and care for it by seeking God.

I can kill any living plant, but I recently planted some flowers, hoping they would somehow survive. I stuck them in the ground and prayed over them, hoping for a miracle. They were fine until a storm came through. Then, I found them lying on the ground, beaten into a pulp. But my neighbor's flowers looked amazing! She said, "You didn't plant your flowers deeply enough. I don't think they had time to take root."

The same is true of peace. When we seek God, our peace will take root and grow. Our personal relationship with God will never change because He keeps it.

But how much power we receive from Him and how much peace we have depends upon how solid and stable our relationship with God is and how persistent we are in pursuing Him.

Secret 2: Decide to resolve conflict.

Philippians 4:2 "I encourage both Euodia and Syntyche to have the attitude the Lord wants them to have. Yes, I also ask you, Syzugus, my true partner, to help these women." (NIV)

Peace is often the casualty of unresolved conflict in relationships, but Paul is serious about having peace in our relationships. Serious enough to call names in front of the whole church. (Maybe their names are the reason for their anger. Sorry. I couldn't resist.)

Euodia means" prosperous journey," while Syntyche means "pleasant acquaintance." These ladies were not bad. They were ladies in the church who worked with Paul. But something happened.

Scripture doesn't say what the problem was, but that is not important. It usually isn't. And Paul simply says, "Fix it!" Paul is not saying they must always agree or that there will never be conflict again. But Paul is telling them their actions are destroying the peace in the church. Unresolved conflict is the enemy of peace. The world works out conflict through retaliation, but God has a different plan.

Proverbs 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend."

The wound is confrontation for the good of a friend. If you love - you level. Loving confrontation is a gift we bring to healthy relationships, and successful confrontation is always done with love. The harder the truth, the more love we must use to say it.

• Confront with the right motive.

• Confront at the right time.

• Confront the right audience.

• Confront in the right way.

As Dan was leaving for a business trip, he pushed the wrong button, and I got angry. But I didn't confront him because he would be gone for several days. I didn't want it weighing on his mind, but it certainly was weighing on mine. The anger grew.

When Dan walked in from his trip, suitcases in hand and exhausted, I let him have it - and did so right in front of the kids. Not my finest hour. I broke every relationship rule. I could have waited until he was rested, the kids were not around, and I had a better attitude. Better still, I could have dismissed the whole thing as an unworthy place to invest emotional energy. Decide right now to resolve all conflicts. And if you are causing conflict - stop it!

Secret 3: Look on the right side.

Philippians 4:4 "Always be joyful in the Lord! I'll say it again: Be joyful!"

The Message translation says, "Celebrate God all day, every day. Revel in him!"

We have a choice to make when it comes to our perspective in daily life. That choice determines our attitude.

Again, Paul is serious about joy! He tells us always to be joyful - not happy. Stay with me here. Paul is not calling us to be happy. Happiness comes from the word "happenstance" and is nothing more than fake joy because it depends entirely on our circumstances. Joy is an inside job and comes from knowing God.

Nehemiah 8:10 "Don't be sad because the joy you have in the LORD is your strength." (GWT)

Joy is not a feeling. It is a choice of perspective. Joy is the confidence that God is in control. Consequently, we can't always find joy in circumstances. (I think I heard you all say, "I know that's right!") However, joy can be found in the one who rules those circumstances.

If we want peace, we must choose to look at the right side of life.

Secret 4: Learn to be gentle.

Philippians 4:5 "Let everyone know how considerate you are."

"Considerate" literally means "gentle."

Paul implies that peace in relationships is the result of gentleness. He also says we must be kind and gentle to "everyone." Know what "everyone" means in its original language? It means "everyone," the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Nope. No skating on this one. The world views gentleness as weakness, but God teaches that gentleness is controlled strength.

• Gentleness is willing to give up control!

James 3:17a "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure and full of quiet gentleness. It allows discussion and is willing to yield to others." (NCV)

Don't be a "box-builder" in your relationships, demanding that the people in your life fit the box you have designed for them. Instead, give up control of that person to the only one who can change them!

• Gentleness is forgiving.

Colossians 3:12-13 "As holy people whom God has chosen and loved, be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Put up with each other and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Gentleness is quick to give and receive forgiveness. However, gentleness takes the responsibility to initiate forgiveness, to take the first step in reconciliation. To experience peace, we must learn to be gentle.

Secret 5: Refuse to worry.

Philippians 4:6 "Never worry about anything."

"Worry" literally means "to be pulled in different directions." The old English root from which we get our word "worry" means "to strangle."

It's a historical fact that the Comanche Indians tortured and killed their enemies by staking them to the ground, putting a wet leather strap around the neck of their enemy, and letting it gradually cut off their air supply. Worry strangles our peace.

Let me make a few critical statements about worry:

-Worry is a control issue.

-Worry is wasted energy.

-Worry is consuming and unhealthy.

-Worry is a joy thief.

-Worry is the interest that we pay today on tomorrow's problems.

-Worry makes everything seem bigger than it is.

As I said earlier, worry strangles our peace unless we choose against it and choose to trust God. There is that word again, "choice."

I recently saw a bumper sticker that made me think. It said, "Worry is the darkroom in which "negatives" are developed." Hmmm - so true! But it is possible not to worry. It must be. God never asks us to do anything He doesn't empower us to do!

Take Paul, for example. Paul had plenty of reasons to worry. He was in jail, in lousy health, facing his trial, and the churches he had spent his whole life building were struggling to survive. But Paul refused to worry, and so can we.

Secret 6: Pray about everything.

Philippians 4:6b "But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks."

When dealing with difficult circumstances and people, we tend to make prayer our last resort instead of our first response. Rather, prayer should be a habit.

In this verse, "prayers" are thoughts spoken to God, and "requests" are specific needs presented to God. I am convinced that if it is big enough to concern us, it's big enough to concern God.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray continually!" (NIV)

"Continually" literally means "direction of the sunrise" and is the idea of an ongoing conversation with God. Start in the morning, and don't stop until your head hits that pillow at night. Notice something significant in this verse. Paul says we are to give thanks while we are praying. Don't miss this truth! We should be praying with enough confidence that we give God thanks for the answer to our prayers while we are praying. Now that is praying in faith, believing God will not only answer our prayer but that he is answering our prayer even as we pray.

You may have heard the story of a small West Texas town experiencing a severe drought. One Sunday morning, a pastor in that town announced that there would be a prayer meeting that night to pray for rain. The pastor also challenged them to come in faith, believing God would hear and answer them. When the preacher stood to begin the prayer meeting, he looked out over the crowd until he saw a little girl sitting in the front row. He smiled and bowed his head for a minute. The crowd was curious about the preacher's demeanor. He finally explained. "How many of you have come in faith?" Every hand in the room shot up.

But the preacher shook his head and said, "Only one of you has come in faith." He pointed to a little girl in the front row holding an umbrella.

In a crisis, we can panic, which leads to stress, or we can pray, which leads to peace!

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes

Mary Southerland is also the Co-founder of Girlfriends in God, a conference and devotion ministry for women. Mary’s books include, Hope in the Midst of Depression, Sandpaper People, Escaping the Stress Trap, Experiencing God’s Power in Your Ministry, 10-Day Trust Adventure, You Make Me So Angry, How to Study the Bible, Fit for Life, Joy for the Journey, and Life Is So Daily. Mary relishes her ministry as a wife, a mother to their two children, Jered and Danna, and Mimi to her six grandchildren – Jaydan, Lelia, Justus, Hudson, Mo, and Nori.