4 Negative Mindsets Gratitude Counteracts
- Denise Kohlmeyer Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
- Updated Oct 31, 2023
Is negativity your go-to emotion? For many people—especially those who have experienced trauma of some sort or grew up in a toxic household—this is their daily mindset, their default setting. They can’t help but think negatively, conjuring up the worst-case scenario for every situation, living in a doom-and-gloom mentality. Worse, their negative attitudes can have negative physical, social/relational, and even career consequences.
What can be done to overcome our negative thoughts and entrenched mindsets? Some try to overcome them by practicing positive thinking or redirecting their defeatist inner monologue with positive self-talk. While beneficial, these methods provide only momentary relief. But God provides a more transformative method, one that has a payoff for the here and now, and the hereafter: practicing gratitude.
What Is Gratitude?
The Greek word eucharistia translates, “Thankfulness, thanksgiving, giving thanks; literally, ‘the giving of thanks for God's grace.’” There is a direct correlation between gratitude and the taking of the eucharist, modeled by Jesus Christ at the Last Supper. “After taking the cup, he gave thanks and said, “Take this and divide it among you. For I tell you, I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.” And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me” (Luke 22:17-19, emphasis mine).
In offering the bread (His body) and the wine (His blood), Jesus was expressing thankfulness for the grace, joy, and hope His death and resurrection would bring to those who would believe. When we take communion—whether it is weekly or once a month—we partake 1) because Jesus told us to and 2) because it is a holy and tangible expression of thankfulness. As we ingest the wafer (His metaphorical body) and the wine (His metaphorical blood), we, too, are articulating our gratitude to God for His grace and kindness in sending His Son to die for our sins and for securing our salvation.
Secondly, giving thanks is part of doing God’s will, according to 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” This is an imperative sentence issuing a direct command; to not “give thanks in all circumstances” is to be disobedient. Giving thanks in all circumstances takes our focus off our circumstances and redirects it to the physical and spiritual blessings and benefits we have already received from God.
In this way, gratitude/giving thanks is a choice. It is the deliberate mental redirect from what we aren’t or don’t have to who we are and do have. Says Pastor John Piper, “Genuine thankfulness is an act of the heart’s affections, not an act of the lip muscles. It is not willed but awakened. It is not a decision of the will, but a reflex of the heart.”
So, what negative mindsets can be transformed with gratitude?
1. Complaining/Grumbling
If there is one thing the Israelites excelled at, it was complaining. They complained about the lack of food (Exodus 16:2-3). They complained about the lack of water (Exodus 17:1-4). They complained about the bitter water (Exodus 15:22). They complained to Moses (Exodus 14:11-12). They complained about Moses (Numbers 12:1-12; 14:10). They complained about the “giants” in the Promised Land (Numbers 14:1-10). In all, there are at least 14 accounts of them complaining in the Old Testament.
Complaining is an expression of discontentment, of saying essentially, “God, I hate my lot in life.” It is an accusation against God and His plan of declaring that God is insufficient and unwilling to provide for His people.
Perhaps it was with the ingrate Israelites in mind that Paul admonished believers today to do “everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14).
Father, forgive me for being discontent and dissatisfied with all that you have given me. Forgive me thinking that you are not enough, that you have withheld from me. Help me to be see the goodness of your hand and to be grateful for the people/possessions/promises you have already graciously supplied.
2. Loneliness
Loneliness afflicts all sorts of people, from children being rejected at school to the elderly who’ve lost so many loved ones or are isolated because of health issues. These people feel unwanted, insecure, and perhaps even useless.
Expressing gratitude, as we’ll see later, doesn’t necessarily rely on outside circumstances: people, activities, or events. Gratitude is a mindset that finds God’s sustaining grace and presence sufficient, even in seasons of loneliness.
Seasons of loneliness can also be agents for greater growth. Jesus went to “lonely places” frequently, the better to hear from His Father and to be prepared for what ministerial opportunities lay ahead. Perhaps we could, instead of fighting the loneliness, leverage it for our spiritual good.
Father, in my lonely times, I know you are always with me. Help me to see my seasons of solitude as a blessing and times when I can draw closer to you and to your Word. Help me to use these times to also be a blessing to others.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/AaronAmat
3. Stress/Worry/Anxiety/Depression
While stress, worry, anxiety, and depression are not sinful in and of themselves, they can lead to sinfulness. Giving in to these maladies excessively demonstrates a lack of trust in God, His plan, and His provision. Again, daily rendering of thanks—especially during times of intense stress, worry, or anxiety—helps to pivot those emotions toward God. Verbalizing gratitude can be a healthy and holy way of casting all your cares upon Him (1 Peter 5:7).
Gratitude has also been proven to help medically. Says Najma Khorrami, M.P.H. at Psychology Today, “When a sudden stressful event or circumstances arise, the body responds naturally by releasing adrenaline and cortisol. Cortisol is responsible for increases of glucose in the bloodstream to facilitate activity in the brain and repair of tissues… If incorporated, gratitude has the potential to be a potent coping strategy. Gratitude helps lower cortisol levels in our bodies by about 23 percent, thereby preventing the health problems that stress can lead up to.” Those health problems, she says, include headaches, digestive problems, depression, insomnia, weight gain, and inability to concentrate.
Father, thank you for taking care of me always. I know You care about me, my life, and this situation. I am tempted to worry and succumb to anxiety. Help me to trust you. Give me Your peace and Your comfort.
4. Envy/Jealousy/Comparison
Envy and jealousy are incompatible with gratitude, says Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading scientific expert on gratitude. “You can’t feel envious and grateful at the same time… because if you’re grateful, you can’t resent someone for owning things you don’t.”
Envy, jealousy, and comparison are actually thieves. They say to us, “I am not enough. What I have is not enough.” They rob us of enjoying the good gifts and blessings God has given. Gratitude, therefore, is the antidote to envy, jealousy, and comparison. When feelings of jealousy or envy arise, go to prayer immediately. Say to God, “I am grateful for who you’ve made me to be—flaws and all. I’m grateful for the things you’ve given me.” When we’re grateful, we’re less susceptible to falling into these sinful, unholy mindsets.
Expressing gratitude also teaches us contentment. As the Apostle Paul said—a man who endured both deprivations and excesses of all kinds—“I have learned to be content in whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” (Philippians 4:11-12). Contentment is an antidote to envy, jealousy, and comparison, and it starts with expressing gratitude.
Father, You are so good, and you have given me good things. Help me to be content with who you’ve created me to be. Help me to be content with where I live, the clothes I wear, the car I drive, the children I have, etc. They are all wonderful and sufficient, because they are from You, and I am grateful. Lastly, help me to desire You above all things.
Conclusion
Cultivating a life-long attitude of gratitude takes practice, like anything worth doing and having. One way that can help you create a grateful mindset is to make it a daily practice to find at least one thing you’re grateful for. Another way would be to keep a gratitude journal in which you can write down everything and everyone you’re thankful for. In these simple ways, you exalt the Giver. And giving thanks pleases our Father immensely and brings Him glory.
“Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done.” - Psalm 105:1
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/dmbaker
