6 Reasons to Leave a Narcissistic Friendship
- Vivian Bricker Contributing Writer
- Updated Aug 14, 2023
Leaving a friendship is hard for any of us. Sometimes friendships end because of life situations, or they simply drift apart. There are also times when friendships have to end because one friend hurt the other beyond repair. In the case of being friends with a narcissist, there are many reasons to leave the friendship. Nowhere in the Bible does God command us to remain in a narcissistic friendship.
Here are six reasons why you should leave a narcissistic friendship:
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1. They Don't Care About You
Slide 1 of 6One reason you should leave a narcissistic friendship is because they don't care about you. I'm not completely sure why narcissists want to be a part of friendships in the first place since they don't tend to care about anyone; however, it is often we find ourselves stuck in a friendship with a narcissist. Narcissists don't really care about anyone, including those they claim are their "friends." In truth, narcissists don't have any real friends because they aren't real friends themselves.
You don't need to stay in a friendship with a narcissist because they don't care about you. Since they don't care about you, they are going to be more prone to hurt you. God doesn't want you to be in a friendship with someone who doesn't care about you. He wants you to be surrounded by people who genuinely love and care about you. A narcissistic friendship will not be able to provide you with the love, care, and support you deserve.
You might find it difficult to leave your narcissistic friend but try to remember all the times they hurt you. It can be easy to turn back to someone when we are lonely, but we don't need to open the door back open to someone who will hurt us again and again. We need to be smart about who we keep as friends and distance ourselves from those who will hurt us. Narcissistic individuals will only cause harm and they won't ever be able to be a good friend to anyone.
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2. They Are Self-Centered
Slide 2 of 6A second reason to leave a narcissistic friendship is because they are self-centered. Since your friend is a narcissist, he or she will always put themselves first and they will always have to be the center of attention. In addition to this, they will also always have to have everything be about them. Maybe you have a graduation coming up and you are graduating with honors. Your narcissist friend will somehow make the entire graduation and celebration about themselves.
In this way, we can see how much frustrating being in a narcissistic friendship will be. It is best not to get into one of these friendships; however, since you are reading this article, you are probably already stuck in one. You do not have to stay in a friendship with someone who is self-centered and never looks after your interests. In order to have a friend, you have to be a friend, and a narcissistic individual will not be willing to be a good friend to you. They are professionals at taking but are never willing to give; it's a one-sided relationship where you always get the short end of the stick.
Instead, they will want everything to be about them. The second everything isn't about them, they will become upset or short-tempered. If you are already involved in a narcissistic friendship, you are aware of the fits they can have when things don't go their way. It is exhausting to stay friends with a narcissist and it is best to leave the friendship altogether.
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3. They Have Hurt You Purposefully
Slide 3 of 6A third reason to leave a narcissistic friendship is because they have hurt you purposefully. Friends can hurt us at times, but they don't purposely try to hurt us, cut us deep, or tear us down. We all mess up and slip up sometimes, but we never purposely try to hurt our friends. Narcissistic friendships, however, are bred with hurt feelings, and in a way, the narcissist can keep the other friend in an abusive friendship if they can convince you that you are the problem and deserve the way they speak to you or treat you.
Narcissistic individuals are more prone to gaslight people, which is another reason why you need to end this friendship. True friends won't purposely try to hurt you. Instead, they will try to help you and build you up. Nobody wants to be hurt by someone we care about and this is why it is important to not cultivate a further relationship with a narcissist. They will not return the same care, love, and respect that you give them, but if you allow yourself to be too synched with them, it can be nearly impossible to walk away from them.
They will abuse your kindness and cause you issues along the road. Not to mention that being hurt by someone you considered a friend could cause lasting damage on your own well-being. Life's too short to surround yourself with narcissistic friendships. Instead, invest your time in making new friends who will value you as an individual and will prioritize your friendship.
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4. They Make Fun of You
Slide 4 of 6A fourth reason to leave a narcissistic friendship is because they make fun of you. Being made fun of is terrible. As someone who has been made fun of throughout my life, it is terrible. A simple mean taunt or smart remake can cause lasting damage to someone's heart. Mean words can hurt from bullies, but they hurt even more when they are inflicted by people we thought were our friends. Unfortunately, narcissists masquerade themselves as our friends only to make fun of us and tear us down, which, in turn, makes them feel better about themselves.
None of us like to be made fun of because it hurts. This is a solid reason why you shouldn't continue being a friend to a narcissist. More often than not, narcissists are set in their ways, and the only people that can change them are them wanting to stop being a narcissist and turning to God's help. A person doesn't always have to be a narcissist because they can change. Sadly, not many of them want to change because they fail to see it as a problem.
You deserve to have good friends who build you up in the Lord. It is easy to feel guilty for leaving a friendship, but you don't need to feel anything negative. You are making a smart move by leaving the narcissistic friendship and choosing to move on. Move on to friends who will support you and build you up in the Lord. These are the friends who will stick around and be true friends to you.
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5. They Damage Your Mental Health
Slide 5 of 6A fifth reason you should leave a narcissistic friendship is because they damage your mental health. Our mental health needs to be protected. A key way to do this is by looking at who we are interacting with. If we are stuck in a narcissistic friendship, it will damage our mental health. Since narcissists tend to be cruel, rude, and manipulative, they can cause us a multitude of problems.
God doesn't want us to remain friends with people who will harm our mental health. He wants us to have healthy minds to be able to help others. There are enough things in the world that are out of our control that will damage our mental health. We don't need to allow things within our control to damage our mental health too. You have the complete right as an individual to step away from this narcissistic friendship because it is only going to mess with your mental health.
It's likely that you already have some mental and emotional damage because of the narcissistic friendship you are in. Leave the friendship and move on to new friends. You might want to seek out therapy and get help from a professional if you have had mental damage done to you. A therapist will be able to help you work through the trauma and get to feeling better again. There are good friends out there; they are just hard to find when we are dealing with a narcissist.
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6. They Will Only Continue to Hurt You
Slide 6 of 6A sixth reason why you should leave a narcissistic friendship is because they will only continue to hurt you. You might think it is okay to sit it out and see how things go, but you shouldn't. It will be a sad, damaging waste of time. You see, it might be hard to hear, but the narcissist in your life will only continue to hurt you and abuse your kindness. They will only change if they want to. Don't waste your life waiting for them to change.
Life is more than being hurt, used, and manipulated by a fake friend. Narcissistic friendships are terrible, and they are something you need to leave as fast as possible once you find yourself in one. There is no point in staying in a narcissistic friendship because they will continue to hurt your feelings and make you feel bad about yourself. God desires for you to have a life full of friends who truly care about and love you. You will never find this in a narcissistic individual, but you can find it elsewhere.
You can find true friends in a neighbor, a family member, or meeting someone new at a coffee shop. Don't allow your bad experience with a narcissist to cause you to block everyone out. There are amazing people out there who will treat you the way God wants you to be treated. They can be hard to find, yet God will help you and lead you to the right friends.
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