Should Women Pursue a Career, Homemaking, or Both?
Music can offer an outlet to say what the heart cannot in just a daily conversation. This sentiment has once again proved true with a new song by singer/songwriter Kelsea Ballerini. The artist recently released a vulnerable, raw, and honest song about her struggles, titled "I Sit in Parks." Although the non-radio edit of the song includes superfluous curse words and quips, the core essence of the song is a discussion worth having in the Church. For many women, whether married or unmarried, there is an often-overlooked or unspoken struggle when it comes to pursuing a career or pursuing homemaking. This song extends the invitation to have this needed conversation.
An Unspoken Ache
The lyrics of Ballerini’s song detonate a whirlwind of emotion for those who feel the weight of the sacrifice of desires to achieve other goals. Whether these pursuits were God- ordained or self-seeking, many can relate to the searing loss of what we thought life would look like by now. The chorus goes:
“Did I miss it? By now, is it a lucid dream? Is it my fault
For chasing things a body clock doesn't wait for?
I did the tour, it's what I wanted, what I got
I spun around and then I stopped
And wonder if I missed the mark”
Whether you are an artist endeavoring to produce something meaningful for the world or striving for the next rung on the career ladder, this haunting thought can echo within. Is it indeed too late, has the mark been missed, or can there be any expectation of redemption or catch-up? Such thoughts are often internal or discussed only by the most trusted friends, but they are no less real and honest. Instead of wallowing in the despair that it is all but wishful thinking now, what if instead we considered that God still has the final word? What if we also introduced the consideration that not every woman has a cookie-cutter story, and that the God who can redeem all things can most certainly redeem the time we count as squandered or sacrificed?
Not Always Linear
As a child, almost every girl fantasizes about meeting a kind, warm-hearted man, marrying him, and living the idealistic happily-ever-after, but for some, that hope is deferred. The “ring by spring” experience is not always the case, even when the best attempts are made and earnest prayers are said. Much like Proverbs 13:12 conveys, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” For those who are single past the time they had hoped to get married, they often feel that the decision has been made for them to pursue a career instead of a life of homemaking. This does not mean that the desire is still not present; it is grievously felt in ache as they make the most of what life has turned out to be instead of all they had once assumed. For those who did marry early, situations are not always so simple either. Single or married, the path is not always as linear as we would prefer, and circumstances do not always align for a woman to be the white-picket-fence Americana housewife of daydreams. A woman’s work is no less important to the Kingdom of God when she is living out the calling God has given her to fulfill.
We Are All Works in the Fields
Followers of Christ embarking upon the assignment God has given them, specifically, are all “field workers.” Matthew 9:37 explains it as, “Then he said to his disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.”’ Whether your field is raising a child to know the Lord, working outside the home at a store or business, or something else entirely, when you are obeying the Lord and tending to the field in which He has placed you, you are ultimately in ministry. Your ministry may look different than what one would suppose, but it is no less worthy. One field is not greater than the other; it is merely different. For some fields may only be for a season, and for some a lifetime, but if you are doing as the Lord has led. It all holds great value to the Kingdom of Heaven. That is why timing and calling are imperative to consider as part of the bigger picture, not just the present question of where a woman belongs.
Timing and Calling
The timing of the Lord is rarely what we would prefer, and it is always correct in the grand scheme of things. A Calling from the Lord is not just a profession or title; rather, it is a duty you were specifically designed to steward. When you allow God to be the Author of your life and each step is ordered and obeyed as He leads, it is there that you find purpose. You are no less of a Christian/evangelist for being a stay-at-home mom, just as you're no less of a "good Christian woman" if you perform a career outside the home. For many women, it is not a one-or-the-other situation; both are experienced simultaneously. One is not greater than the other two; it is instead the portion allotted to this woman of God in the timing He has orchestrated. Each also is in alignment with the portrayal of the Noble Christian Woman of Proverbs 31, for the verses used to describe such a lass include, “works with eager hands. (V13)”, “sets about her work vigorously (V17)”, her lamp does not go out at night.” (V18), “makes linen garments and sells them” (V24), “clothed with strength and dignity” (V25), “speaks with wisdom” (V26), “does not eat the bread of idleness.” (V27), “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” (V30-31). This woman is not “just a homemaker,” and she is not “just a career woman.” She is a woman of noble character. That is the goal over accolades and labels; it is what truly matters from season to season.
The Greatest Pursuit
Ultimately, the greatest pursuit of all is that of running ahead with what the Lord has specifically designed you to do for Him and His Kingdom. As Isaiah 6:8 challenges us, “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!”’ When we fear and respect the Lord more than we fear and respect the opinions of others, even if that person is you, it is there that the greatest pursuit is lived out. It may not always be as we would have written, but we must trust that His ways are indeed higher than our ways, and He is worthy of our trust for what He has crafted us to accomplish in intentional, deliberate timing. Don’t underestimate what He is doing when you are in alignment and in step with His Will, you are not forgotten, you are not behind, and you haven’t missed the mark.
Related:
4 Ways to Know if You Should Be a Stay-at-Home Mom
10 Simple Prayers to Encourage the Heart of the Working Mom
Stay at Home Mom, You Are Enough Just as You Are
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/andresr
Originally published December 15, 2025.
