3 Ways to Teach Modesty to Younger Women
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- Updated Aug 25, 2022
A for all people. When working with young women, this can be an area of great growth and maturity. As girls become women, it is very important that we not only model what Christ-following women dress like, but also teach them what the Bible says and how we can honor God in this way. The most important part in this discussion, is the teaching on the heart. Today we are going to go through ways to teach modesty to younger women.
Activity Ideas:
1. You could have a slideshow where the girls vote thumbs up or down if the outfit is modest. You could crop off the faces so it is just bodies so it is only focused on the outfits.
2. You could do before and after of how to make something more modest because so many times its hard to fine clothing that is modest. (We did something like this I think for Polished) ex: low cut shirt: Add a cami, short skirt or dress: add a slip extender, yoga pants with a short top,:get a longer top that covers everything or throw a dress on over the leggings, Crop top: wear a cami underneath or super high-waisted pants lol.
You could have models for these examples or just before and after pics.
3: Play a video of good looking Christian guys talking about how clothing effects them and how modesty is attractive. (If you have diverse girls, make sure the video includes diverse guys too!) You attract what you wear.
Lesson:
I think the biggest question is why? Why does it matter what people wear? It is one thing to do an action out of duty, but it is another to live out obedience from the heart.
Proverbs 21:2 says, ”Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”
God cares more about the state of our hearts than the state of our dress, however the way that we dress can indicate the state of our hearts.
The root of our outward presentation is connected with our identity. Who we are comes down to what we want to present to others. When we know that we are daughters of the Most High God, we dress in ways that honor and represent Him well, while still expressing our unique personalities and styles that He has given to us. Modest does not mean frumpy and unattractive. Modest means carrying yourself in a manner that shows respect to you, to others and to God.
1. Are You a Young Woman who Follows God?
Proverbs 31:30 says, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
Following Jesus is the most beautiful thing about a person. Without naming names, have you ever met a woman who was so stunningly beautiful on the outside, but she was evil and mean on the inside? What was it like being around her after you discovered her heart was not as kind as her body? The Lord calls us to be beautiful through praising and honoring Him. We can actually worship God by the decisions we make with clothing.
2. Are You a Young Woman who Follows God?
Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
(You could give a visual hand out of a cut out of cloth with different patterns and they get to choose 1 to take home). If we do not allow the Holy Spirit to transform the way that we think about clothing, we will match the pattern of this world. Only by renewing our minds can we see and know what God’s will is, even in how we are to dress.
3. What if I Don’t Know How to Dress Modestly?
1 Peter 3:3-4 says, ”Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
God tells us some tips about modesty. He says that although it fine to be stylish, the most important beauty we can show is inner beauty from our hearts.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says,"You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”
God tells us that we are His daughters and we are very valuable to the point of Jesus’ death for us. We are called to honor God with our bodies and this includes how we dress.
Titus 2:3 says, "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.”
Ask older godly women their thoughts. If you have a question about something, ask someone wiser that you trust who will be honest and loving with you. We do not always know the best outfit choices and sometimes it is helpful to have a wiser godly woman’s opinion, especially if we are unsure.
The 3 Quick Questions
- You can ask these questions when getting ready for any occasion and before posting something on social media.
1: Does this outfit honor God?
1 Timothy 2:9-10 says, “I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”
Start by asking, if Jesus was in the room, would He approve of my outfit choice? Whatever your answer, then think about how He is always with you, so He is in the room. Does this outfit honor and represent Him?
2: Does this outfit honor myself?
Proverbs 11:22 says,"Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”
You are worth more than a gold ring in a pig’s snout. When we dress in ways that are provocative whether intentionally or unintentionally, we take our fearfully and wonderfully made bodies and degrade them. Women around the world desire to be respected and treated equally. In yet, we have so much freedom in America and we sexualize and degrade ourselves. When we choose to clothe ourselves with dignity, we are honoring the body and the person that God created.
Vashti the Queen knew her worth and value. She refused to be lusted at by the king and his men. (Esther 1:11-12) We are daughters of the King of Kings and we need to remember to honor ourselves even if we are made fun of or outcasted because of it.
3: Does this outfit honor others?
Romans 14:13 says,"Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.”
Does what we put on and how we present our bodies cause others to sin?
You might just think that sexy outfit is for the guy you like, but the fact is that every man even in their 80s still has eyes and it can be a huge stumbling block to men and women. It could cause insecurities in your sisters. It could cause others to be lustful. What we wear effects more that just us, but anyone we come into contact with
If the answer to any of the 3 questions is no, then the outfit should be a no. If all three questions can be answered with a yes, you can feel good about wearing it.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Margo Ovcharenko
