Spiritual Growth and Encouragement for Christian Women

Why the Enemy Doesn't Want You to Speak about Your Shame

  • DiAne Gates GriefShare
Why the Enemy Doesn't Want You to Speak about Your Shame

An hour before our guests arrived, I tossed a handful of celery strings into the garbage disposal and flipped the switch. The machine choked while the sink filled with water. “Oh no!” I gasped. “It’s clogged.” I punched the reset button. More grinding. “I don’t have time for this.” I grabbed the plunger, worked myself into a sweat, but the mess remained.

I’d have to call a plumber, I thought. So, I mopped the dregs in the bottom of the sink and pretended everything was fine when our guests arrived. All through dinner my mind fretted over the yucky mess lodged in the garbage disposal and the probable cost of a plumber to fix it. But aren’t we just like that with the shame of past sins stuffed in the shadows of our hearts? We pretend everything’s all right, yet ruminate and choke on our shame. And Satan claps high-fives when his assault darts hit their marks and stick.

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Shame Clogs Our Remembrance of the Power of God's Cleaning

Shame Clogs Our Remembrance of the Power of God's Cleaning

The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly (John 10:10).

A friend of mine’s childhood had been painful, then a marriage ended in a hateful divorce and she often said, “I have a box in my heart with a zillion drawers. I tuck each shameful moment in a drawer and keep it there.” And I’m sure the enemy of her soul fiddled a tune of glee when she refused to release the deadly ghosts of her past.

Your moments of shame are like bars in a prison cell—bars that won’t let you out, nor will they let anyone in to help or comfort you. Dark places that grow moldy and stinky over time. Places that fester, adding shame upon shame.

When Jesus hung on that cross, the shameful moments of sin you and I and all humanity have suffered or caused were heaped and piled on Him. And in that moment, He cried out, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” Because God and the Spirit of God were ripped away from Him for the first and only time the Triune God was separated—because of the great love the Father, the Son, and the Spirit have for you and for me—for all who will believe.

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Holding onto Shame Places Your Courtroom above God's

Holding onto Shame Places Your Courtroom above God's

How you have fallen from heaven, O star of the morning, son of the dawn! You have been cut down to the earth, you who have weakened the nations! But you said in your heart, I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God. And I will sit on the mount of assembly in the recesses of the north. I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High (Isaiah 14:12-14).

In those hours on the cross, the blood of Jesus Christ washed clean every single one of us who ever trusted or would ever trust and believe His payment was enough to satisfy the Sovereign, Holy God of the Universe. Once for all time. No more sacrifice needed. The Lamb of God paid the price—my price—your price—the price for the sins of the universe. Yet, many will never believe or trust that price He paid was enough. But does their unbelief change the fact each of us who choose to trust in and obey Jesus, God marks, Propitiated? Paid in full!

If the God of the Universe marks you saved, cleansed, propitiated—there is no reason to continue to suffer shame…unless you’ve decided your courtroom’s above God’s courtroom and you refuse to believe Jesus’ blood really was enough and God’s verdict is valid.

Could it be like my garbage disposal gagged over those tough strings of celery, you’ve stumbled and believed the washing of the blood of Jesus wasn’t quite enough to clean you up and make you “as if you never sinned?” Could it be the enemy of your soul has been whispering lies? Lies to keep you silent. Lies to make you doubt God. Lies that keep you from being all God plans for you to become.

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The Slimy Strings of Shame

The Slimy Strings of Shame

If you abide in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free…if therefore the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed (John 8:31-32, 36).

About the age of four, I was abused by an uncle. My mind, God’s grace—or both, covered that horrid event and I had no memory of it until I was a young mom. The uncle was never allowed in my parents’ house, but one day mom called and asked me to come to lunch so this long-forgotten uncle could see me and meet his great nephew. I questioned Mom’s going against Dad’s orders, but she said Dad just didn’t want to be around him. So, I agreed to come.

I saw him as I walked in the door and was repulsed. Why? I didn’t know. My face flamed rage and I couldn’t find my voice. Get out of here, shouted inside my head. I wheeled and rushed out the door—confused and perplexed. Why had I reacted that way? But in His grace, later that evening, God allowed me to see a complete replay in my mind of why. And I was flooded with anger and shame.

The next day I questioned Mom. She denied knowing anything and implied I was lying. But my rage and shame remained. I talked with the Lord, but my shame and my silence grew. And I allowed Satan to build a stronghold in my life. A stronghold that allowed him to yank my strings of anger, hopelessness, and unforgiveness about something over which I thought I had no control. And my silence was the mud that held that brick wall of despair and destruction together.

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Sin's the Shame—Deception's the Game

Sin's the Shame—Deception's the Game

Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you (1 Peter 5:8-10).

I have no idea what you’ve kept hidden in your heart’s little drawer. But I hope you will receive God’s absolute truth that whatever He allows in your life—that’s right, allows, if you’re His child, He will use for your good and His glory—if you trust and obey Him.

When you place your faith and trust in the blood of Jesus to cleanse you and save you—it’s a done deal. Every day as you walk and grow up in Jesus, He will use the good, the bad, and the ugly—even the shame lurking in the dark corners or your heart and mind. And He will allow you to speak up and help others also struggling with their shame.

I’d love to say after that original conversation with my Mom I was able to speak out about that awful event, but I refused to surrender the shame. It took another stack of years until I was able to speak with many women who claimed their lives were forever ruined by past assaults. I explained our lives and purposes are never defined by any single event occurring in our pasts. My life and your life are defined by the love of Christ Jesus and what we allow Him to accomplish with those events. God will use any event He allows in our lives to help others—but Satan whispers in your ears like he did in mine… No one will understand. Everyone will blame me. They will hate me. They will talk about me.

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Mercy and Grace are Part of His Name

Mercy and Grace are Part of His Name

…let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart (Hebrews 12: 1-3).

Mercy and grace, do you know their meanings? God’s grace gives you and me something we don’t deserve—His love and forgiveness. His mercy refrains from giving us what we deserve—the penalty for our sin—death. Why? Because God created us to bring glory to His name and He loved us enough to die for you and me. Jesus died for every sin and shame we have ever committed and His blood paid God’s penalty for what we’ve done or was done to us. What He requires of us is to believe, trust, obey, and acknowledge He alone is God.

“But God created Satan too,” you say. Yes, He did. But there was already rebellion in this anointed cherub’s heart. He wanted to be above God. And this adversary has waged war against His Creator since the beginning. It’s all recorded in the Word. Satan’s rebellion took one-third of the angels with him and he attempts to destroy you, me, and each one whom God loves. 

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There's No Future with Shame

There's No Future with Shame

To confirm this fact, all you have to do is thumb through God’s Word. Esau was ashamed of selling his birthright, but never repented. Judas threw the money back at the priests who paid him, but went out and hanged himself. No repentance either. But Peter, though shamed by his denial of knowing Christ, repented; and we see how God used his life to lead others to Jesus. Peter’s words are as alive and vibrant today as they were to the early churches.

Jesus bore all our sin and shame on Calvary. And God tossed all that sin and shame into the depths of the sea…as far as the east is from the west. But Christ arose victorious over sin, shame, and death on that glorious Sunday morning. Risen to be everything God ordained Him to be. And precious brother and sister in Christ, you have been raised to be everything God ordained you to become also.

But we often allow ourselves to resemble my garbage disposal; clogged shut with the shame of past sins, not allowing Jesus’ cleansing access, but allowing the enemy to fortify our shame. Shame that only a free-flowing daily washing and teaching of the Spirit of God can accomplish to rid us of the poison of the enemy’s lies.

And the devil who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are also; and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever (Revelation 20:10).

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Speaking God's Truth Breaks Shame's Chains

Speaking God's Truth Breaks Shame's Chains

There’s a running conversation in our hearts and minds each day. The Spirit of God longs to teach us who’s saying what. God’s Spirit speaks His truth. He schools us in what’s right and corrects us, according to God’s Word, in what’s wrong. So, it’s imperative to actively pursue knowing the Word of God.
The problem is many within the church attempt to digest enough on Sunday to last them through the week. They are starving, unable to discern which voice captures their heart.

Satan, according to noted teacher, Bill Gillham, speaks to each of us in first person singular, with a southern accent. In other words, like I said earlier, “Satan whispers in your ears and mine…No one will understand. Everyone will blame me. They will hate me. They will talk about me.” And if I’m not discerning, he sounds just like me. The Bible says he often appears as an angel of light, but his words identify him. Satan’s goal is to trap, destroy and diminish your faith in The Lord Jesus Christ. But through the power of the Holy Spirit, God gives you the power to break the enemy’s chains of shame.

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they shall never perish; and no one shall snatch them out of My hand (John 10:27-28).

Wife, mother, and Mimi, freelance artist and photographer, DiAne Gates writes for children, young adults, and non-fiction for adults through her blogs, http://dianegates.wordpress.com/ and www.floridagirlturnedtexan.wordpress.com. She also facilitates a GriefShare support group. DiAne’s award winning, ROPED, first in her western adventure series released July of 2015, and the second book, TWISTED, released by Pelican Book Group July 14, 2017. Third book in this series, UNTIED, is her WIP. You can find DiAne on Facebook.

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