5 Ways to Serve as a Couple

Throughout my life, God has sent valuable influencers to help me along my faith journey. Often, they have been couples. While we know without a shadow of a doubt that God uses single people (after all, Jesus was single Himself!), there is something uniquely powerful about the way God fashioned man and woman together in His image. And when I look back on the women God has most used in my life, quite often, it wasn't just the woman God used, but also her husband.

All that to say, serving God as a couple might not be as straightforward as just signing yourself up to volunteer for a task, but there's fruit - in other's lives as well as your own - that will come from it! Here are five ways to serve your church together:

1. Take time each day to pray together for your church.

We have a church directory that I use to pray over our congregation, so I don't miss someone! Depending on how large your church is, it's feasible to pray over every person in your congregation in a month's time. Also, be sure to lift up your leadership team. Praying for your pastor and the people serving is so very vital! There is never a moment you spend praying for your church that will be wasted. Every moment spent in prayer is needed and precious.

"With all prayer and petition, pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak." Ephesians 5:18-20

2. Volunteer for the children's ministry.

When I was little, church was a safe, happy place. My home life overflowed with heartbreak and turmoil, but the church was an oasis. One of the particular reasons it was a place of safety was an elderly couple that served in the Sunday school program. Truthfully, I can't remember their names, but I remember their faces and how they shined with God's love. I think they were perhaps one of the first examples I remember of a joyful married couple. Their sweetness expressed a piece of God's character I desperately needed in my childhood.

I can pretty much bank on the fact that there isn't a single kid at your church that couldn't use a person to be an "adopted" grandparent or parent. Your love and time won't turn up empty when you lavish it on a child - especially someone else's!

In decades past, I would often hear how many fatherless or perhaps "father less" (because of work or other distractions) children needed male influences. Today, it isn't just dads that are away from their children. Psychologists are constantly reminding parents that their addiction to screens is significantly and negatively impacting the development of their children. Distracted parenting is becoming a significant issue in our culture! Being an adult that has their phone off and offers up time and heart space to listen to a child is a rare gem in that child's experience. Be that person!

If you don't want the responsibility of a whole classroom, many other children's ministry tasks need attention. You could keep track of birthdays and send cards, help listen to Bible memory verses, prepare or serve snacks for the kids, volunteer to clean/disinfect the preschool toys, or open your home for church families to come over for lunch after church. And doing those things together would be such a special blessing to kids who need to see examples of married people serving and loving Jesus together!

"And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He would touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they began rebuking them. But Jesus called for them, saying, "Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." Luke 18:15-16.

Children are of utmost value to Jesus. And if we truly want to be servants in His kingdom, they will be of the utmost importance to us.

3. Open your home.

"Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint." 1 Peter 4:8-9

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/PeopleImages

Hospitality is one of those gifts we are all called to exercise. It's also a gift that needs the whole family to be in on it to practice. This is a great place to serve as a couple! And hospitality doesn't have to be "entertaining" - in fact, the best hospitality isn't! Is there a single mom who could use a safe place to bring her kids to do laundry, so she doesn't have to drag them with her to the laundromat? Opening your home for them to hang out, have a meal, and do laundry would be a profound blessing! Are there any widows/widowers in your church that could use some fellowship and dinner? Is there a young man/woman in your church that needs some help learning to maintain their car, and you know how? Invite them over to help and have a meal ready to share. Even if you aren't both part of the immediate interaction, this act of hospitality is most certainly shared. There's nothing quite like being welcomed into someone's home to speak the love and welcome of Christ in a tangible, practical way.

Related Article:

How to Use Hospitality for Outreach

4. Ask your pastor or a deacon.

My son loves to help. And I have started to instill a simple statement into him to help grow this natural bent he has: the best way to help is first to listen. Sometimes we look at a situation and think we know what needs to be done. Someone's kids, their marriage, their finances, the church ministry scene - we think we know how to fix it. But truthfully, we only see a piece of the puzzle. If we genuinely want to be of service, we ought to ask the person in the trenches how they want to be helped and then listen well. Sometimes the answer we receive won't be completely clear cut. That's when we need to listen with our heart and the Holy Spirit and not just our ears.

I love this story from 2 Kings about the woman who took care of Elijah. She tended him selflessly. When he asked how he might bless her, she replied that she didn't need anything. But Elijah's servant noticed her and listened to her with his heart. It's a good example for us as well.

"Now there came a day when Elisha passed over to Shunem, where there was a prominent woman, and she persuaded him to eat food. And so it was, as often as he passed by, he turned in there to eat food. She said to her husband, "Behold now, I perceive that this is a holy man of God passing by us continually. Please, let us make a little walled upper chamber and let us set a bed for him there, and a table and a chair and a lampstand; and it shall be, when he comes to us, that he can turn in there." One day he came there and turned in to the upper chamber and rested. Then he said to Gehazi his servant, "Call this Shunammite." And when he had called her, she stood before him. He said to him, "Say now to her, 'Behold, you have been careful for us with all this care; what can I do for you? Would you be spoken for to the king or to the captain of the army?'" And she answered, "I live among my own people." So he said, "What then is to be done for her?" And Gehazi answered, "Truly she has no son and her husband is old." He said, "Call her." When he had called her, she stood in the doorway. Then he said, "At this season next year you will embrace a son." And she said, "No, my lord, O man of God, do not lie to your maidservant." The woman conceived and bore a son at that season the next year, as Elisha had said to her." 2 Kings 4:8-17

Ask your church leaders how you as a couple might be best used to serve the congregation; listen with your ears, but listen with your heart too.

5. Contribute to the needs of the saints.

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints." Romans 12:10-13

It is very common in our church culture to give as a means of outreach to the community. Yet, the New Testament more often highlights that the church is meant to take care of the needs of its own members, and we often miss this point of service. Is there someone in your congregation that has a need that has come to your attention? Is it a burden you can help ease? This kind of service ought to be done with much prayer. Sometimes an act of love and encouragement can become an act of enabling or blossom into a one-sided, unhealthy, using sort of relationship. That is one reason why this is a great way to serve as a couple. With both of you listening to the Holy Spirit, you are more apt to not fall off the balance beam of Biblical help into the abyss of enabling than if you were by yourself in the same scenario.

Contributing to someone's need might be financial, or it might be sharing a skill or service. You might offer babysitting to a family that is overwhelmed or bring dinner to a family that has a parent in hospice. I've shampooed the carpets of our congregants because we have a nice carpet shampooer. I've brought quite a few dinners. We've joyfully given furniture to families that needed it. And there have been times we've paid someone's rent for a few months while they got back on their feet. This wasn't part of giving to the church. It was just giving. Because the need was there, and so were we.

I once heard a missionary say that before she went into the field, she asked God where He was for all the children who were orphaned and in such a heartbreaking state. In her heart, she felt His reply echo, "I was here with you."

God has entrusted gifts of various kinds for you to bless others. Discovering how to share those gifts as a couple is one of the most joyful marriage experiences. It will spill into your family life and create a legacy of giving. Marriage reflects God in a unique way. Our giving God delights when our marriages become funnels for His gifts and character. There is a sacredness that is unique from any other kind of service or giving when you share it with your other half.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/BiserkaStojanovic

April Motl is a pastor’s wife, homeschool mom, and women’s ministry director. When she’s not waist-deep in the joys and jobs of motherhood, being a wife, and serving at church, she writes and teaches for women. You can find more encouraging resources from April here and here.