5. Extend More Grace
Slide 5 of 5
Chances are each of you is annoyed with certain behaviors of the other. So, take the first step in extending grace – lots of it – to your spouse. Grace is the glue that holds the two of you together.
The Bible says it is by grace (undeserved favor) that we are saved and not by anything that we do--it is the gift of God, so that we can’t boast in our salvation (Ephesians 2:8-9).
My husband, Hugh, and I have come to believe that it is by grace (undeserved favor) that we are loved by each other, too, not because of anything we do. It is a gift from each other so that we can’t boast in ourselves about how good of a spouse we are.
When I am aware of how unlovable I can be at times, it makes me more loving to my husband, who, by the grace of God, still puts up with me.
Now compare that with the attitude that comes so quickly and naturally to our minds: I deserve better than that. He has no right to treat me that way. I can do better somewhere else. And so on.
A person who extends grace says, “I’d be honored if you would still love me.” It’s humbling. But it’s how we are loved by God and how we must learn to love each other. You can extend grace by being humble, being understanding, not assigning motives, and realizing you are just as human (and therefore capable of making mistakes) as your spouse.
For every five things that my husband does that irritate me, I’m pretty sure there are at least ten things that I do that irritate him.
As you are deliberate and intentional in these five ways, you may begin to see this quarantine as the best thing yet for your marriage.
Remember, this quarantine didn’t take God by surprise and He’s the God who can work all things (even the situation of being confined together in your house) for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of 16 books that help women and couples improve their relationships with God and one another. Together, she and her husband of 32 years, Hugh, co-authored the book, When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection. You can also find help for your marriage in her books, When a Woman Inspires Her Husband, and 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband: More Trust. More Passion. More Communication. Find more of Cindi’s resources to help your individual walk with God, your marriage, and your parenting, at her website www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.
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