Be sure to be specific about your “need to feel loved.” If we limit our requests to vague phrases, our partners may have a difficult time understanding what we mean and what we really need. Tell your special someone specifically what will make you feel loved by him or her. And be patient if they are surprised by your request.
If your husband expresses his love to you by keeping gas in your car, making repairs around the house, and giving you a day to yourself when you need it, he may feel he is doing enough already. But if you need to hear him explain why he loves you with endearing words or provide tender touch to affirm that love, then ask him for those specific things.
Everyone has their own unique background, upbringing, in-grained habits, issues, reservations, and wounds that contribute to their love language. Your partner may think he or she is showing you love when you are not receiving it that way. Describe what love looks like to you in a tangible way, and spell it out carefully, creatively, and even visually so there is no misunderstanding. Give examples of what resonates with your heart and what doesn’t but do it in a loving way. This is also a great time to ask about what specifically translates love to them.
Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and award-winning author of more than a dozen books. She helps women and couples strengthen their relationship with God and with each other. She and her husband, Hugh, have been married 30 years and co-authored the book, When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection. Cindi has also written When Women Walk Alone (more than 130,000 copies sold), Letting God Meet Your Emotional Needs, When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts, and her newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband. For more on her speaking, or resources to help strengthen your soul or relationships, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.
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