Should You Date Outside of Your Religion?
- Liz Lampkin Contributing Writer
- Published Dec 11, 2023
Dating is an exciting journey. It's filled with ups, downs, high hopes, triumphs and disappointments. It is a journey everyone experiences at one point in their lives for different reasons. Some seek marriage, while others desire casual companionship or friendships that could develop into something long-term. When people actively engage in dating, they have particular traits and characteristics they desire in a mate. They also have an idea of what they want to engage in with a partner, habits they want them to have, and even the religious practices or denomination they want them to be a part of. Knowing how someone lives their life as an individual contributes a great deal to whether or not someone is compatible with them. Religion and faith-based practices shape the lives of so many people worldwide. Going to church, praying, reading the Bible, attending Bible study, engaging in devotion, and many other practices are the guiding principles and activities believers use to govern their actions, mindsets, and many of their life's decisions. So, one can't help but ask, does practicing or having different religious beliefs dictate the quality of a relationship? Or should two people who practice different religions date? The answer to these questions is quite simple. Having different beliefs can dictate the quality of the relationship, for better or worse. Honestly, it depends on the maturity level of both parties involved. If two people have two different religions, they can have a productive and prosperous relationship. Here's how.
1. It's essential to first decide for yourself how important having the same religious practices or being a part of the same denomination is to both of you.
If this is a relationship dealbreaker, it's important to understand why. Before you begin dating anyone, list your negotiables and non-negotiables when it comes to religious practices for both you and your partner. Make sure your list is reasonable and allows you to keep an open mind when being introduced to a new religion.
2. Dating someone with a different religion can help you grow and learn about your own religion more in-depth.
If your partner, or a potential partner, is avidly walking in their faith and setting a positive example for you, it can motivate you to do the same.
3. You can learn about other religious practices.
While many people believe that their religion is the end all, be all of religions, everyone has preferences and beliefs that fit their way of life, which should be honored and respected. If your love interest or a potential partner's religious practices differ, you can take time to learn about it and how it enhances their life.
4. You can discover a different level of respect for another religion.
People often judge or misjudge other religions or denominations without learning about them in-depth. Dating someone with this difference can allow you to develop a different perspective and level of respect for their practices. In turn, this will allow you to understand their practices and support them the way they need without crossing boundaries.
5. You develop a different level of respect for how someone lives and possibly adopt some of their beliefs.
Having a partner with a different religion can give you a deeper insight into their way of life. It can also provide a better understanding of who they are and possibly a better understanding of the way you view and do certain things.
6. Communicate your needs and practices effectively.
If there are certain practices like set prayer times, times of meditation, fasting rituals, and other things you have put in place to uphold the practices of your religion, it's vital that you let your partner know what those things are. This will be helpful when planning dates or other lines of communication, so you or your partner's practices won't be changed or interrupted.
7. Be on the same page in regard to sex.
Sex is a subject that will more likely than not come up when dating, and it's important to know what each other's thoughts and practices are in terms of premarital sex as well as sex during marriage. At the beginning of or throughout the course of your relationship, be sure to have this candid conversation with your partner to be sure you are on the same page. Before you have this conversation, be sure that you are well-versed about what your religion says in regard to sex, and be sure of what your practices are and what you desire to change.
8. Be comfortable and secure in your practice.
When dating someone with a different religion or the same one, it's important to stand firm in your religious beliefs and practices so you won't be easily swayed to leave behind what you know for superficial reasons. Often, when we learn new things, we become excited and want to adopt them right away and abandon the practices we've been accustomed to. While everyone has the right to live how they choose, it's important to know how you want to live and what's important to your life regarding your religious practices. If you decide to date someone with a different religion and you desire to adopt some of their practices or even change religions, be sure it is because this is what you have been led to do for your own soul salvation and lifestyle, not because you desire to secure a relationship with your new partner.
9. Don't expect them to change.
If you consciously choose to date someone with different beliefs from yours, do not make it your mission to change them or what they believe. A big part of having a successful relationship with anyone is accepting them for who they are and who they are not. Not only should you not expect them to change, they should not expect you to change either.
10. Always keep an open mind.
Always be willing to listen to your partner without bias or providing uninformed insight, ask questions for clarity, and again, always remain respectful of their practices. Be willing to visit their places of worship and get to know more about their beliefs, and be sure they do the same for you. Show your partner the same respect and open-mindedness as you expect them to show you.
Finding the right person you're compatible with can be a daunting task, but it can also be the best learning experience for all involved. Dating someone with the same or different religious practices can have its ups and downs for a number of reasons, but if you follow the steps above things can go better than expected. However, if you are uncomfortable with some of the things you've learned, respectfully let your partner know and end the relationship. You should always be considerate of their feelings, but you must also consider your own.
Ultimately, it is your and your partner's choice to date outside of your religion. If you decide to do so, be sure both of you are comfortable with each other, respectful, and mindful of each other's way of life.
