1. You’re Keeping Score
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Your life together is a tangle of needs, wants, and responsibilities. The cycle of dishes and laundry never ends. Bills need paying and grass needs constant mowing.
You both crave time to invest in hobbies, goals, and friendships that make you, you. When stress feels overwhelming, you need margin for self-care and spiritual renewal. You know the challenge to get it all done while maintaining your health and wholeness.
A taker in the relationship becomes fixated on equality. You keep a mental checklist of who tackled the most chores this week. Who changed the most diapers or drove your child to practice every afternoon. Who had the rare chance to sleep in on Saturday or splurge on a grande iced mocha with extra whip.
Which of your extended families shared more of your family celebrations. You tally the time and money spent on fun, feeling put out if your spouse enjoyed a movie or restaurant while you sat home. If the balance tips in your spouse’s favor, anger and resentment fill your heart.
Keeping score stirs up jealousy when your loved one’s talents and achievements are rewarded or praised. Instead of cheering for new opportunities, you grumble and secretly wonder when it’s your turn.
The solution? Take God’s Word to heart when it says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4).
The Spirit will help you and me to put our partners first. We’ll offer wholehearted support from humble hearts that are eager to serve. God will do a transforming work so as we count the cost of love, we’re ready to spend all we have.
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