Eva Marie Everson Speaks Out Against Pornography
- Janet Chismar Senior Editor, News & Culture
- 2003 15 Nov
You may recognize her byline from a number of Crosswalk.com article series: “Falling into the Bible,” “The Cross & Pen” and “More Than Conquerors.” Eva Marie Everson is, without question, an engaging writer and gifted Bible teacher. But did you know that she also speaks out against child pornography as a representative of the National Coalition for the Protection of Children & Families (NCPCF)? Or that she has published a fiction trilogy that draws readers into the world of a redeemed exotic dancer?
During an interview this summer, Everson shared some advice for parents. “When you look at pornography in terms of how much is out there and how bad everything is within the industry, it’s really easy to say, ‘This is a no-win situation.’ But there is power in one voice. There is a lot of power in the parental voice because children really do want to hear what their parents have to say to them, whether they roll their eyes or not.”
Parents need to get educated, says Everson. Go to the National Coalition’s Web site (www.nationalcoalition.org) and learn how to protect your family. Founded in 1983, NCPCF is an alliance of representatives from businesses, foundations, citizen action groups, religious denominations and faith groups working to educate the general public about the effects of our sex-saturated society on communities, individuals, children and families. NCPCF is also helping concerned citizens effect change within their communities and providing assistance to those whose lives have been negatively impacted by pornography and its messages.
The second thing Everson suggests is face-to-face conversation. “You must be able to sit down with your children and talk to them. Not during the dinner hour. Not during a movie. Not during a TV show. Not when the children are trying to do their homework, but specifically at a time when you can say, ‘There is something I want to talk to you about.’”
Next, parents need to learn specifically about Internet pornography. Everson explains: “I know parents will say, ‘I have a filter on my computer.’ Well, let me tell you that the average teenager knows how to get around those filters. They are only as 100 percent effective as you want them to be. If teens want to see porn badly enough, they will.
“The difference for teenagers today,” Everson continues, “compared with the days of Playboy and Penthouse is that then the sexual poses were stationary. But today, they can actually view the act as it is happening. Most pedophiles will tell you their problem started with pornography in their youth. So, educate yourself about filters. And put that computer in an open space. Don’t put that computer in a back room somewhere because it doesn’t go with your décor. Put it in an open space and let your children know that I can walk through at any moment. There are also filters that you can get that will actually report to you what your children are viewing online, emails, etc. Say to your children… I just talked to a father yesterday who said I have that on my computer and I tell my children, “It’s not because I don’t trust you, it’s because I don’t trust them.” “It’s not because I don’t love you, it’s because I do love you and I want to protect you.” So, that’s another thing that you can do.
Let’s say you’ve got this filter on your computer, and so if your child, let’s say you have a 14 year old son and he wants to type in the word breast, but that filter is on there and he can’t type in that word breast, then all he has to do is go to a place like one of the translator sites, find out what the word breast is in French, type in the word breast in French, and he’s in like flint.
EME: See, because they recognize the English words, but not necessarily other languages. The other problem is that you’ve got this filter up there but your 16 year old daughter is doing a research paper on breast cancer. Now, see, she’s going to have difficulty getting into those sites.
EME: They’re not a hundred percent. They are only as good as you want them to be. The greatest weapon you have when it comes to Internet porn is putting the computer in an open space and being honest with your children. Say to them, “If you ever come up on a site by accident, just come to me. Let’s talk about it.” If it leaves a sight, a visual in your mind that you can’t deal with, come to me and we’ll talk about it. I’m an adult and I will talk to you like an adult. That’s the other thing. Talk to these children. Talk to them. Don’t lecture them. Don’t interrogate them. I’m a real live human being. Don’t forget that we’re all just sexual beings. We are, we’re sexual beings. We are created that way so that there will be people in the world. Because if not, there wouldn’t be.
J: That seems to be my theme of the day…[inaudible].
EME: In teaching them to that if they don’t learn to beat this fire when they are younger. I can remember thinking when I was this young girl that once I get married I’ll be okay. Once I get married I will no longer have to deal with temptation. And that’s not true. If you learn to conquer it when you are younger you have a higher chance of conquering it when you are older.