7 God-Honoring Ways Grandparents Can Partner with Their Kids

The best gift grandparents can offer their growing families is to continuously lift everyone up in prayer. Often, during the early years of raising a family, life becomes so chaotic that prayer can feel like a desperate plea rather than a complete thought. Grandparents have the wisdom gained from having already lived through that season, and they have more space in their days to bring thoughtful, full prayers up to the Lord.

Grandparents can seek God on how to wisely partner with their adult child. James 1:5 reminds us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” We can ask God to reveal how to come alongside without overstepping as a parent. Grandparents can lift their kids' marriages, parenting decisions, grandchildren's lives, and so much more to the Lord. Asking him to protect and guide them on their journey. Become the spiritual support for your children and grandchildren, not a spiritual supervisor.

One of the sweetest parts of being a grandparent is that you can enjoy your grandchildren without the same pressure and responsibility that come with parenting. Grandparents' primary role is to love, support, and nurture their children and grandchildren. They are such a valuable resource because of the unconditional support they offer when parents have to carry the weight of tough conversations and age-appropriate discipline.

Romans 13:1 says, “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.”

God has given us each different roles, and as grandparents, you can honor your children by encouraging and supporting their role as parents in their home. Avoid being controlling and do your best to show your children that you trust them as parents. Do your best to support house rules, honor routines that parents feel are best for their kids, and respect their discipline styles. Do your best to avoid undermining comments or behaviors towards your kids, as this sets a poor example for your grandchildren and gets in the way of having a positive relationship with your children.

Ecclesiastes 3:7 says, “a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak.” Finding the right time to share your hard-earned wisdom with your kids is so important. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you as to when to share your insights and when to just offer a quiet listening ear.

Some tips for approaching your adult children include asking permission before giving advice, starting by sharing an experience you’ve had, and offering the lessons you learned. Be a good listener. Be a safe place for your kids to vent and honestly share their needs and struggles with. Be quick to listen and slow to judge as you walk alongside your child.

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Over this whole parenting and grandparenting journey, most of what we want to share with our kids is caught rather than taught. Grandparents are called to model authentic faith for their grandchildren that has passed the test of time. There is so much power in your grandchildren seeing how you are involved in your faith community, watching you read your Bible, or pray. They are paying attention to everything you do, so be a person who models the love of Christ.

As grandparents, you can reinforce what parents are teaching spiritually, pray with your grandchildren, share Bible stories, worship, and faith traditions with your kids. Bring the Bible into family gatherings. Share the Christmas story at Christmas, read the account of Jesus going to the cross to be raised to life in three days at Easter, and share your favorite verses that capture a heart of gratitude at Thanksgiving. Let your faith be evident in all that you do, and take every chance you can to share that faith with your grandchildren.

Everyone does things a little differently. In my family, I have two younger siblings, and they have beautiful families that they love well, but all three of us parent a little differently. None of us parents in the same way as our parents did when we were growing up. Our kids each have different needs, our families have different routines, we have spouses that we are making decisions with, and our own unique personalities influence how we choose to care for our children.

Grandparents must avoid comparison and criticism of parenting styles. Grandparents must show respect for the ways that parents feel are best when guiding their own children, acknowledging that there are cultural and generational differences that impact how each of us parents. Honor your children’s choices about how to school their children, discipline their children, and which activities they choose for their children to engage in. Choose unity with your family tree over making sure your opinion is heard.

Philippians 2:3-4 says it best, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Parenting is really hard and expensive work. Finding ways to serve your kids as they are in the thick of parenthood is such a tremendous gift! Be available to help care for grandchildren with no strings attached. Open your life to your grandchildren, being a consistent source of childcare, meals, and emotional support.

Be alert and sensitive to the needs of your kids and grandchildren. Can you be an extra driver for sports and activities your grandkids are involved in? Can you bring a meal when a new grandchild is born? Are you able to take the grandkids for an outing so Mom and Dad can have a break? Could you be a tutor for your grandchild? Maybe you could teach them a skill they are interested in learning? Are you able to sponsor an activity for your grandchildren that is out of the budget for your kids?

There is so much that has to be done when you are in the thick of parenting, and any real, practical help offered is so valuable. Galatians 6:2 says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Help carry the burden of parenthood for your children.

The best gift you can give your children and grandchildren is yourself! Invest in making memories and creating meaningful traditions with your grandchildren. These are moments they will treasure for the rest of their lives. Encourage them with your words, speaking blessings over them at every opportunity given. Offer a legacy of humility, faith, and love. Trust that God will work and produce the generational fruit that you are hoping to see.

Proverbs 13:22 states, “A good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children, but a sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous.” Leave an inheritance of shared memories, love, support, encouragement, faith, prayer, service, and kindness for your children’s children!

There is so much beauty in seeing the generations partner together in this life. Families are meant to stay close over time, and we are supposed to be each other's support. Grandparents, your love and investment in your children and grandchildren is a ministry. You have the chance to show unconditional love, offer precious prayers on behalf of your family, and support your family as it continues to grow.

Related:

3 Ways Grandparents Can Leave a Legacy of Faith

10 Ways Grandparents Can Support Their Children While Still Letting Them Lead Their Families