How to Find Biblical Joy When You Enter the Empty Nest Season

"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (Isaiah 43:19)

A couple of years before my children moved out of our home, I began praying for God to prepare my heart for what I knew would be a difficult transition. In the summer of 2018, my daughter got married. I wanted to enjoy my daughter's wedding, be happy for her, and celebrate her day truly and thoroughly. I wanted to transition into the empty nest season in a way that glorified God and blessed my family. God faithfully enabled me to enjoy all that led up to my daughter's wedding, and the wedding day was a beautiful, God-centered day. 

That same summer, my son got a job that included housing; he was able to live rent-free in his own place and work full-time as he & his fiancé planned their wedding. I wanted to support my son and was excited for him and his newfound independence. Helping my son get what he needed for his new home and watching him settle in was exciting. I was genuinely happy for him. 

When the excitement of that summer settled down, and we went back to normal life, the reality of both of my kids moving out and what that meant moving forward hit me like a ton of bricks! I missed them. I missed hearing them get up in the morning and telling them good night. I missed hearing about their day when they came home from work, and I missed eating a quick dinner with them before they left for the evening. I missed their friends who often filled our living room and sat at our kitchen table. I had devoted myself to being their mom every day for over 20 years, and overnight, life changed. Things would never be the same again. 

During those challenging days, I reached out to a few moms who had already transitioned into the empty nest season. They assured me that the way that I was feeling was normal. That comforted me, but I knew that I needed to be able to do more than just make it through each day. I needed to face each day with hope and joy so that I could see God's purpose for me in this new season. So, again, I began to pray. Daily I would reflect on all the ways that God had been faithful in my life as I was raising my kids; I would thank him for all he had done and how he provided for me. I would spend time in prayer for my kids and thank God for how he had worked with them over the years. Then I would ask him to enable me to move into the new season with joy in him, despite my aching heart.

As always, God was faithful! No, the ache did not go away right away, but I was able to experience joy amidst the feelings that come when your children leave the nest!

Verses to Help You When You Enter the Empty Nest Season 

"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (Isaiah 43:19) 

This is not the end, even though it feels like it is! We have spent every waking hour, for more than 18 years, pouring ourselves out for our children and making sure they are cared for and loved. It quickly moves to being our top priority and is more than our full-time job. When they move out of the home, it can feel like our purpose has moved out with them, and you miss connecting with them daily. Of course, you will go through a time of grieving! How can you NOT grieve? They are our most precious gifts from God! Let me assure you, God has more for you to do for him. It might take time to figure out and adjust to what life looks like now, but it will come. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. 

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted." Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 

God has designated a season for everything we experience in life, and growing and raising a family is one of those things. We know this, but it can be very difficult when the seasons change. Especially the empty nest season. Change is hard. It means the familiar fades, leaving us to build a new normal. Sometimes that is a welcome and exciting thing. Sometimes it will include a time of grieving. You are allowed to grieve in this change – but be sure to focus on God in the grieving. 

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, and forever." Hebrews 13:8 

For me, bringing home a newborn was one of the hardest seasons I have experienced. I was crazy about my babies, but learning a new way of living was hard. I eventually found a new rhythm and got used to caring for a baby and getting little sleep! Sending my children out 20+ years later was just as hard, if not harder, than when I brought them home. Both seasons were huge, life-altering changes. When yet another change rocks our world, we have a Savior who is never changing and is always there for us. The only constant in our lives is Jesus. Learning to cling to and focus on him is the key to experiencing biblical joy during all the changes in life. 

What Good Comes When You Enter the Empty Nest Season

• You have an opportunity to press in closer to God, the One who can comfort you and remind you that he is faithful, even in this difficult change.
• You have an opportunity to ask God to show you what new things he has for you to do in a new season. You may have released your children into the world, but you are now released to do new and different things!
• You can learn how to be the best mom of adult children you can be. You can seek God and ask him to teach you how to glorify him and how to be a blessing to your adult children in this new season. It is a learning curve, but God will guide you if you ask him to. 

Find Biblical Joy by Focusing on God 

1. Thank Him for Who He Is

Father, thank you for being Jehovah-Rapha - "The Lord Who Heals"! My children leaving our home is something that You have planned all along. It is a good thing. But I am feeling so sad right now. You are the God who heals, and I trust that you will heal my heart and guide me into a new way of living. 

2. Thank Him for His Faithfulness:

Father, thank you for being faithful in my life and in the life of my children all these years. You have faithfully guided us through every season of parenting, and we have done the best we can do. I relinquish my grown children to you today, knowing that you will continue to be faithful in their lives and in mine. 

3. Thank Him for His Promises:

Father, thank you for the promises that tell me you never change, will never leave me, and will carry and guide me even when life is constantly changing. 

4. Thank Him for His Provisions:

Father, thank you for how you have provided for my family over all the years that we have been living under one roof. I am so grateful. I trust you to continue to provide all that we need physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

To learn more about how to choose biblical joy, check out my book "Everyday Prayers for Joy"! 

For weekly encouragement on how to choose biblical joy in all circumstances, subscribe to "Choose Biblical Joy Today"

This article is part of a series by Gina Smith on biblical joy. Here are more of her articles:

How to Find Biblical Joy When You Face Life Changes

How to Find Biblical Joy When You Find Yourself in Mom Survival Mode

How to Find Biblical Joy When You Have Been Treated Unfairly

How to Find Biblical Joy When You Battle Depression

Finding Biblical Joy in Loneliness

How to Find Biblical Joy When You Don't Feel Like Fighting for Joy

Premium PDF Compilation - Finding Biblical Joy in the Midst of Trials

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