How to Keep Christmas Calm When You’re a Busy Parent
Busyness is not necessarily bad. Of course, it can lead to spending yourself and your family at the expense of peace, loyalty, and stability. But it can also lead to fullness and satisfaction. We hear from many sources that the pace of the Christmas season is intended to help us slow our minds down and consider the wonder and mystery of the incarnation, but our bodies and calendars don’t always align with our thought life. Great dissonance arises when the seen world clashes with the unseen, causing us to feel frantic.
We also heap expectations on ourselves, our spouses, our children, the other parents in the class, the church, and the shoppers in stores. We want everyone else to be at home when we’re out, parking lots empty, shelves hyper-organized. And gone are the days of stumbling upon advertisements, inspirations, and motivations—reminders to buy and be merry and plan days of kids’ crafts and baking pop out at us from every phone app and email, leaving us to wonder if we’re doing enough or too much to celebrate this season.
Let’s take a deep breath, step back, and consider Psalm 34, Taste and See That the LORD is Good.
“My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together! Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” (vv. 2–3, 8–10 ESV)
Go back and read that again—maybe slower this time.
There is something so confident in the command to 'taste and see.' We aren’t asked to consider, think through, or compare. The Psalmist King David launches from the known reality of God’s goodness, which is ours for experiencing and dwelling in, to also magnify and exalt God’s name alongside other worshippers. From this portion of Psalm 34, we can apply three principles to our hearts this Christmas season:
- What is my heart like?
- Are my senses oriented towards God?
- How do I seek the Kingdom of God?
First, the heart. If I am making my boast in the LORD, then I am not the main character of my story. This is what it means to be humble. Oftentimes, our busyness gives way to hurry, the antithesis of calm and the prequel to pride.
Applying this to our initial question of busyness, we must ask ourselves: Why am I choosing to be busy? We can talk about it like we’re victims of an inexplicable phenomenon that is sweeping modern America. But truly, we are the ones who agree to enroll our kids in this choir or that sport (and all the parties that surely ensue); to purchase tickets to that Christmas light show or holiday concert; to host a gingerbread house-making party or a book gift exchange.
Do you think you are maybe trying to avoid a painful holiday season? This time of year isn’t naturally jolly for everyone, and busyness can be a cover-up for dealing with homesickness, bitterness, insecurities, and a whole host of other heartaches. Or are you trying to curate an enviable social media post? Those feeds and reels are tools that can bring about a lot of good. However, they can just as easily serve as something to wield for an identity boost.
Or are you trying to be fun and build loyalty into your kids by imitating God? He is, after all, the best gift-giver of all. A full December calendar should come from an overflow of a peaceful home where attitudes are in order, repentance is quick, and kids are saturated in love. Be honest with yourself and your spouse about what is going on in your heart when you RSVP to an event or party. Repent where necessary, and turn towards faith in imitating the Lord.
Secondly, my senses. Holidays are intensely material. The scents of cinnamon, gingerbread, and peppermint remind us of holiday sweets. Red and green signal the ultimate December color combination. The sights of Evergreen trees, twinkly lights, bells, angels, elves, and all our oddball family traditions point us towards Christmas. And the greatest seen and felt experience man has ever known: Jesus came in flesh and wore cotton clothes and leather sandals; He ate fish and bread and drank wine; He roughed His hands on wood; He ran through streets and stood in the temple. God has gifted us with our senses to experience a myriad of material goods, all with the intention of pointing us to the spiritual, the eternal—His goodness!
So when King David commands us to taste and see that the LORD is good, he isn’t just saying something nice. He wants us to orient our entire lives around God’s goodness, including something as routine as tasting and seeing. Christmas, in all its material glory, is the perfect time to practice aiming all our material plans towards God’s goodness. Yes, we should absolutely be busy with our children in taking in all the sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and feels of Christmas—the possibilities are innumerable! And directing every single taste and sight towards God’s goodness gives us great calm.
Finally, seeking the kingdom. We all attest to the commercialization of holidays, so we must work to not let culture guide our decision-making on how to best use this time. Fearing God and obeying His Word must shape every facet of us, including our calendars. Peace comes from the Spirit, and it’s only when we are seeking the Kingdom of God that we can experience it. No matter how tidy and pre-planned our days are, man cannot manufacture peace. Think of how busy Jesus was, yet He’s the Prince of Peace. He absolutely made time for solitude as well as time with just His disciples. He didn’t let the surrounding needy culture create a hasty spirit, for He was only about the Kingdom of God.
The bottom line of every aspect of the Christian life, including holiday celebrations, is the gospel. Jesus’ birth, life, death, resurrection, and ascension profoundly shape the life of the Christian in every way. So, if we are frantically hurrying our children and spouses from one party to the next, from crafting night to the last cookie exchange of the season, then we have simply lost sight of Jesus and His kingdom. A lack of calm means we have inserted our own agendas at the helm, forfeiting service to God and our families. We fill our calendars in an attempt to fully engage our children in the wonder of what Christ did for us and the freedom we now have to enjoy traditions and merriment.
Your personality type plays a huge part in how calm you can be during the holiday season. Processing and talking through these three principles now will help direct your heart. And even if you appear calm, no one knows how peaceful or tumultuous your spirit is. If it’s the first week of December and you are already pining for January 1, then chances are you’ve lost the calm. Once you have thought through these principles with your own family dynamics in view, consider these thoughts for your busy holiday season—two are very practical, while the other two go back to the heart of it all.
Plan ahead and work today.
I’m not much of a list maker, or if I do, then I have several going in many places. For me, it’s just about getting things out of my head and onto paper: grocery lists, gift ideas, who needs to be where and when. Decide what works best for you, but if you’re a busy parent, then planning is a kindness to your family. While you prepare your days, keep your hands open to the possibility and inevitability of change and unexpected interruptions!
Work today because tomorrow is one day closer to Christmas! Procrastination is likely most felt on Christmas Eve, so take care of all those small details that matter today. Be realistic with how many details you can attend to—maybe it’s not the year to watercolor all your gift tags or get that paw print solidified in salt dough. Likewise, involve your children as much as possible in every part of Christmas, even if their wrapping job doesn’t yield perfectly curled 6-inch ribbons.
Read steadily.
Whether you're a morning person or not, having your mind set on Jesus at the start of a day sets you up for peace. This never has to be an hour-long session! Maybe it’s just reading through Psalm 34. Maybe it’s also a dedicated Advent reading plan or devotional. Write scriptures and quotes in visible places. Whatever you choose, be consistent! We all need reminders and help with focusing on God’s goodness.
Where is the potential conflict? The blessing?
Ahead of time, consider the conflicts and blessings. Anticipating the struggles of a busy season will direct your own heart and shape your children’s. Thinking through the ages and seasons of your children, where is there potential catastrophe with busyness versus their needs and abilities? Teaching kids patience and self-control when we have lined up six late nights in a row, where no one was in bed before 10:00 pm, is more likely to provoke our kids to anger than to foster faithful discipleship (Ephesians 6). On the other hand, how wonderful for our children to reflect on a full schedule of friends, family, decor, lights, and merriment! The kind of season where everyone sits a little closer because they feel seen, loved, and satisfied. Lining up the potential blessings also gives us a lot of holiday energy.
Even as you are seeking to bless and give in abundance to your children, be open-handed with your own repentance.
The moment you notice you are getting out of sorts because something isn’t going according to plan, recognize the closed-handedness, thank the Lord for the conviction, repent, and literally open your hands. A physical movement like this helps orient your whole being towards a change in that very moment. Pray that God would help you give what people need and not necessarily what you want to give. Thank God for the conviction instead of then wallowing in sin and guilt over whatever emotional mess just happened.
Ultimately, being calm isn’t about the calendar, to-do list, or expectations of yourself or others. All these practical tips point toward the physical aspects of this world that we can enjoy because our good Father gives good gifts. If we end up skipping a holiday party or missing a theater showing of It’s a Wonderful Life, then we can still have peace because Jesus dwells within us. Likewise, a perfect plan achieved at the right time, with hours to spare each day for two cups of hot coffee and a run-through of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, can still yield a frantic holiday if the peace of Christ does not reside within us.
If you are seeking the Lord by tasting and seeing His goodness, then you will be full of peace, fellowship, calm, and satisfaction. This is not only what we want to be marked by as mature Christians, but we also want this for our children! Hurry models for our children that we believe God didn’t give us enough time, money, or means of enjoyment. A calm, gentle spirit teaches our children a deep trust in everything about God.
Think now about December 26th. How do you want your children to remember the Christmas of 2025? Rushed, frantic, exhausting, hurried? Full, satisfied, fun, lovely? If you have five items on the calendar or thirty, the calm starts in the heart of the worshipper—so taste and see that the LORD is good.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Natalia Lebedinskaia
Kate Stevens is a worshiper, wife, and mom, and with the help of the Lord, that is her hierarchy of work. Beyond this, she works with the youth and children at her church and edits as a freelancer. She enjoys reading, writing, running, cooking, and practicing thinking pure and lovely things.
After being unsure if they ever wanted children, the Lord eventually blessed Kate and her husband Clint after nearly three years of waiting. They welcomed their first daughter in 2011, another daughter in 2013, and yet another daughter in 2016. Kate considers this her most time-consuming, emotion-full, sanctifying, not always pretty but trusting in the Lord’s plan, and blessed work. Stuck in a house with four females, her husband Clint consistently reminds Kate of her identity and union in Christ.
You can read more of Kate's work here.
Originally published December 11, 2025.
